The Owl House

Season #1 Episode #17: Wing It Like Witches

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[Open on Boscha in her bedroom, which is filled with various trophies. She looks into her mirror.]

Boscha:
You are talented. You are a star. You may be hated, so long as you are feared. Most important of all, you are a winner.

[Boscha rips off a page of her calendar before walking out the door, revealing the whole month has been marked “Grudgby Season”. Cut to Boscha walking through Bonesborough dribbling a grudgby ball, passing several mesmerized onlookers.]

Old Woman:
There she goes, captain of the Banshees. Off to win another championship for Hexside.

Mother:
[to her child] Why can’t you be more like her?

Child:
[Breathes in deeply with an annoyed expression]

[Boscha approaches Hexside, with a banner reading “Go get ‘em, Banshees” magically unfurling over the school. Skara, Amelia, and Cat form up behind Boscha.]

Boscha:
Alright, girls. You know the drill. Captain goes first. [enters the school] Hello, Hexside! Your star has arrived. Groveling line starts here. [looks around] Something’s not right. Nobody’s here!

Students:
[Laughing from a distance]

[Boscha peers around a corner, spotting a crowd of students gathered around Willow, who is holding a potted plant.]

Hexside Student:
No way!

Potions Student:
Do me next. Do me!

[Willow uses her magic, the plant sprouting a fruit looking like the potions student’s face. The student takes it.]

Potions Student:
Welcome to the world, little buddy. You’re the coolest, Willow.

Willow:
Aw, shucks!

Oracle Student:
Yeah, Willow rules!

Boscha:
[walking past with her posse] Wow, she has to make friends out of plants. How sad.

Amity:
[entering] Oh, please! You know, I used to be like you, Boscha, obsessed with status, challenging my competition. But I grew up. When will you?

[The crowd of students laugh.]

Boscha:
Oh, this is not gonna fly.

[THEME]

[Cut to outside of Hexisde. Eda and Luz fly in on Eda's staff.]

Luz:
My first Grudgby season! I’m so excited, I have more school spirit than the school spirits!

[Camera pans to a ghost holding pom-poms.]

Ghost:
Why do I even bother? [groans and floats away]

Eda:
Ah, Grudgby season is the best. You know, I used to play, back in my gory days.

Luz:
You mean “glory days”?

Eda:
Well, that too. I was unstoppable on the field. I had the best moves and the best cheats.

Luz:
Cheating isn’t anything to brag about. How do you know you were any good if all you did was cheat your way to victory?

Eda:
Ugh. What do humans know, with your goody-goody attitude? If “cheaters never prosper,” why was I the star player?

Luz:
Well, can’t reason with crazy. [pulls a sleeping King out of her hood] Bye King, you little snoozers.

[Luz kisses King's head and puts him on the staff as he wakes up. Luz leaves. King scurries into Eda's hair.]

King:
Ugh. Eda, when was the last time you cleaned up in here? [He throws a bag of onion rings from Eda's hair, then pulls out a rat] Get your own scalp, buddy. This one’s taken. [throws the rat]

Eda:
All this talk of Grudgby has me feeling nostalgic. Whaddya say you and me take a little trip down memory lane?

King:
Hard pass.

Eda:
That’s the spirit.

Ghost:
You mean me?

Eda:
Ugh. Come on! [flies away]

Ghost:
Oh.

[Cut to a history classroom within Hexside.]

Teacher:
Over 50 years ago, Emperor Belos appointed a head witch to each coven. [Continues talking]

Luz:
[to Gus and Willow] I can’t wait for Grudgby season to start! I’ve studied up on all sorts of magical sports. Like this. [holds up a DVD case] “Good Witch Azura 2: The Field of Deadly Fates”. A classic underdog tale.

Willow:
[taking the DVD case] Azura challenges Hecate in the smibbitch championship. But will she risk it all by taking a chance on the deadly Thorn Vault? [opens case]

Gus:
[grabbing the DVD] Ooh, a shiny cookie. [tries to eat it]

Luz:
[grabbing the DVD from Gus] Not food.

Teacher:
The council headquarters was built and paid for by...? Anyone? Willow?

Willow:
[stands up] Uh, the Pixie Dust Taxes?

Oracle Student:
[from the hall] Whoo, yeah! Go, Willow!

Teacher:
Impressive, Miss Park.

[The students murmur in admiration.]

Luz:
What’s going on? It’s like all of Hexside’s caught Willow fever!

Willow:
Ever since I patched thing up with Amity, I’ve been feeling more confident. [gesturing to the flower shaped hair clip she's wearing] I guess it shows.

[The hair clip levitates off of Willow's head and into Boscha’s hand.]

Boscha:
Aw, Willow thinks she’s popular now. How cute.

Luz:
Hey, I agree, my friend is very cute. But give that back!

[Luz grabs for the hair clip. Boscha pulls her hand back.]

Boscha:
It’s weird that Amity hangs out with you now. Ever since Grom, she’s gone soft. But don’t worry. [puts clip in her hair] I’m still here to show you who’s boss.

Gus:
[grabs the hair clip] Here Willow.

[Gus puts the clip back in Willow's hair.]

Boscha:
Oh-ho-ho! The friends wanna get in on this too, huh?

[Boscha levitates Willow’s bag into the air, spilling its contents onto Gus, Luz, and Willow.

Boscha:
[laughs]

Teacher:
Is that laughter? Hey, hey! Learning’s not supposed to be fun!

Luz:
We are having zero fun, I swear. Boscha’s picking on us.

Boscha:
My apologies, sir. I was practicing my aim for Grudgby. [throws an eraser at Willow]

Teacher:
Boscha, how could you throw things at them... [draws a circle on his chest] when you could throw things at me? Am I over here? Or am I over here? Anything for the captain of the Banshees!

Boscha:
Oh, thanks, but I already have the perfect targets. [throws gum into Willow’s hair]

Willow:
Oh! [groans]

Luz:
Don’t worry, it’s not like she can follow us around all day, right?

[Cut to Hexside’s front steps. Gus, Luz, and Willow are covered in trash, their faces graffitied with insults.]

Luz:
She followed us around all day. She literally followed us around all day!

Willow:
[sighs] I’m really sorry I pulled you guys into this. We should have just kept a low profile. Boscha could get away with murder if she wanted to.

Principal Bump:
[going down the stairs] What’s this? Boscha got away with murder? I can’t say I approve, but at least she’s trying new things. [leaves]

Luz:
We will find a way out of this.

[Amity passes by the stairs.]

Luz:
Amity!

[Luz cleans herself off before running up to Amity.]

Amity:
Oh, Luz! You’re here! I mean, obviously you’re here, this is school, and you go here now, with, uh, me... I’ve been talking for too long.

Luz:
Amity, we need your help.

Amity:
Yes, I can help...! With what, exactly?

Luz:
Boscha won’t stop picking on Willow, and no one will do anything about it because she’s the “Star Captain of the Grudgby Team.”

Amity:
Yeah, this time of year, she’s extra unbearable.

Luz:
You’re friends with her, can you help us?

Amity:
Uh, the hard part is, there’s no reasoning with Boscha. She only speaks in Grudgby terms.

Luz:
Hmm. Okay, okay. I’m pickin' up what you’re puttin' down.

Amity:
[looking at the books she's holding] I’m... not putting anything down.

Willow:
[screams]

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