The Owl House Page #2

Season #2 Episode #1: Separate Tides

---

[all cheering]

Fish Sailor:
I have many debts!

Salty:
Till then, keep everything shipshape. This ain't no pleasure cruise. Don't be a burden, sea squirt.

Luz:
Oh, you don't have to worry about me. [grunts] Hiss.

[ship horn blowing]

Luz:
[shivers, grunts]

Salty:
Well, ye had me confront my own biases and I got nothing but respect for ya now, squirt. I mean, sailor.

Luz:
Thanks, Salty. You make me feel like a real part of the crew.

Salty:
Well, that's because you arghhhh.

[all cheering]

King:
Boo! Hey, that's mine, you feather duster!

[all scream]

King:
Oof. Hey, King want a cracker! [gasps] Ooh! [munches] Huh? Is that the Emperor's sigil? This ship belongs to the Emperor? Oh, boy. I gotta tell Luz.

Golden Guard:
Unfortunately, you won't have the chance.

King:
[screams]

Lilith:
Okay, next is Fire Bee honey.

[buzzing]

Lilith:
[screams] How can I get Fire Bee Honey without ice magic, or porcuspine quills without a sleeping spell? Who am I without magic, without a Coven?

Hooty:
Without friends?

Lilith:
I said--

Hooty:
You don't know how to get those firebees, but I can help.

Lilith:
No! I don't want your help. I told you not to follow me!

Hooty:
If I were you, I would--

Lilith:
You would what? Because it doesn't matter. You aren't me. You're just some kind of weird bird-worm. You have no idea what I'm going through. I have to do this alone, because if I can't... what kind of witch am I?

Hooty:
Sorry, Lulu. I mean, sorry, Lilith.

Lilith:
Now, let's try this one more time.

Salty:
We're here. The Simmering Shoals. Eyes peeled, mates.

[A burning ship sails past. Sailors take off their hats and pay respects.]

Salty:
She's close.

[The Selkidomus tail thwacks against the side of the ship.]

Luz:
She's here!

[Luz corners the Selkidomus with ice pillars, then wraps it in vines. She starts pulling it onto the ship.]

Salty:
Help her, boys! Put your backs into it.

[Luz ties the vine onto the ship.]

Luz:
I did it!

[Explosion on deck. Luz falls. The Selkidomus breaks free and swims away. Luz sees a silhouette of someone carrying a bag of money.]

Salty:
Is that a-- a ghost pirate?

Luz:
The money! We're being robbed.

[The thief jumps off the ship onto a speedboat and heads to a nearby island. Luz summons a boat-shaped block of ice, jumps on, then propels herself with a fire spell after them.]

Salty:
[laughing] Show that specter what for, Luz.

[Luz close to the shore. The ice has melted to barely support her feet. She loses her balance and is sent flying, colliding into the thief who drops the money at the shore. It opens and it gets washed away. Closeup of Luz and the thief's face.]

Luz and thief:
The money!

[The thief's eyes are yellow and grey. Luz walks over and knocks off her hat, revealing it's Eda.]

Luz:
Eda!

Eda:
[sheepishly chuckling] Hey.

Luz:
Why are you robbing our ship? And what happened to your legs?

Eda:
It's called "disguising your tracks". Now, why were you on that ship to begin with? You coulda gotten killed!

Golden Guard:
That can still be arranged.

Golden Guard:
Hello, criminals. What's about to happen should be relatively painless, if you just do what I say.

Luz:
And why would we do that?

Golden Guard:
Because none of you can use real magic.

Eda:
You don't know that!

Golden Guard:
Maybe not, but I do know you're standing on a plant that eats flesh.

Golden Guard:
Okay--the human will remain a sailor to repay all the money she lost, while the Owl Lady will be arrested, again, for attacking one of the Emperor's ships.

Luz:
"Emperor's ship"?

Eda:
They're the only ones worth robbing. Why are you guys hunting the Selkidomus? It's a peaceful creature, and you're provoking it!

Golden Guard:
The Emperor ordered me to slay one. I'm just following orders.

Eda:
Well, I'm just gonna smack you around a bit!

Luz:
Leave Eda alone!

Golden Guard:
How about... I leave you dangling above the Boiling Sea!?

Golden Guard:
Around these parts, just the steam is enough to cause third-degree burns.

Golden Guard:
But I don't have to be that mean. No-one will have to be a sailor or get arrested, if one of you follows those Selkidomus tracks and slays the beast. Here! I'll help!

Golden Guard:
Ugh, you're making this difficult... Go, or I drown the bird.

[The Golden Guard lifts up the birdcage and pulls the shade aside, revealing King.]

King:
Weh?

[The Golden Guard drops the shade.]

King:
Ah, it's dark now. [snoring]

Luz:
Fine. I'll do it.

Eda:
Luz, wait! Luz!

[Switch to Lilith, encircled by a ring of firebees.]

Lilith:
I am not one to be trifled with, bees. I am a witch... unhinged!

[She swings at the bees with a stick, making battlecries. Lilith pulls it out and realizes it's burnt.]

Lilith:
What? No, no, no, no, no!

[She falls to the ground, ring of bees closing in.]

Lilith:
I can't do this alone. I need help!

[Hooty emerges out of the ground.]

Hooty:
I'm here for you, Lulu. No witch is an island. Now face my wrath!

Lilith:
[clapping] Ooh.

[Switch to Luz and Eda]

Eda:
Luz, don't hurt the Selkidomus. We can find another way out of this.

Luz:
You heard what he said, Eda. If you and King want to be free... then I have to do this alone.

Eda:
What's this "alone" business? Don't you remember? Us weirdos have to--

Luz:
What? Stick together? Because you stuck with me, you lost your magic. You almost got turned to stone, and now you can't even afford your apple blood because you're worried about what I need to eat. It's my fault all this happened. That's why I've got to do this alone. I'll make it all up to you, Eda the Owl Lady. I promise.

[Luz falls backwards, down into the Selkidomus' den.]

Eda:
Luz!

[Luz falls straight onto the Selkidomus' head. She stirs and roars.]

Luz:
Whoa!

[She dodges a Selkidomus attack, and holds up a glyph.]

Luz:
All right, let's do this.

[Luz summons an ice pillar, but Eda swings on a vine and grabs Luz mid-air, tackling her into cover.]

Eda:
You think throwing your life away is gonna help me? Well, it won't. You helped me find King's crown when you barely knew me. You saved me from turning to stone and you even got me talking to my sister again. So, unfortunately for you, my life is pretty great, because I'm friends with Luz, the human. Now, your guilt-ridden brain is clouding your judgement. There's gotta be a way out of this, where no one has to get hurt.

[Behind them, a baby Selkidomus sounds.]

Luz:
[gasping] Eda, do you want to learn your first glyph?

[Above them, the Golden Guard is playing with King's birdcage. He lifts the shade. King wakes up and spins around.]

King:
Weh?

[He drops the shade. King sighs in relief. The Golden Guard lifts the shade. King wakes up and spins around.]

King:
Weh?

[He drops the shade. King sighs in relief. The Golden Guard lifts the shade. King wakes up and spins around.]

King:
Weh?

[He drops the shade. King sighs in relief.]

Golden Guard:
[laughing] You're actually weirdly endearing.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote