The Parent Trap

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If their love's on skids,

treat your folks like kids

Or your family tree's gonna snap

So to make'em dig,

first you gotta rig

What have you gotta rig?

The Parent Trap

If they lose that zing

and they just won't swing

Then the problem falls in your lap

When your folks are square,

then you must prepare

What have you gotta prepare?

The Parent Trap

To set the bait, recreate the date

The first time Cupid shot 'em

Get 'em under the moon,

play their favourite tune

- John!

- Marcia!

You got 'em!

Lead 'em back to love

with a velvet glove

'Cause they're much too old

for the strap

Straighten out the mess with togetherness

Togetherness!

The Parent Trap

John, they're playing our song.

Marcia, what fools we've been.

Straighten out their mess

with togetherness

Togetherness

Straighten out their mess

with togetherness

Togetherness!

The Parent Trap!

All right, girls! A to Ks over here.

A to Ks? No, dear, you're an R. Over with

the P to Ss. Have we any X, Y, Zs here?

Here are your allergy pills.

One three times a day.

And your insect repellent

and your poetry book.

- Thank you, Staimes.

- Have a good summer, Miss.

- Name?

- McKendrick, Sharon.

- 18 Belgrave Square, Boston?

- Yes.

My grandmother said my tent

should be well ventilated.

Don't worry. You'll be ventilated.

Next girl.

No candy wrappers lying on the ground.

Always tidy.

Latrines over there. Mess hall up the hill.

McKendrick, you're in Arapahoe.

Follow me. Girls, wait here.

Come, McKendrick.

New arrival, girls. Name's McKendrick.

- Hi.

- The girls here will brief you.

Sure you'll be happy here.

See you after lunch.

- My name is Betsy. This is Ursula.

- How do you do. I'm Sharon.

You're in a good tent. Betsy's mother

sends her candy bars every week.

- I can't eat candy.

- Why not?

My grandmother thinks it ruins my teeth.

Hi, Mary.

Come on. I'm starved.

- The nerve! Coming here with your face.

- What are you gonna do?

- Do? What on earth can I do, silly?

- I'd bite off her nose!

- Who's she?

- I never saw her before.

At this time, I want to say welcome

to all our new arrivals.

Welcome to Camp Inch, new arrivals.

I am your supreme commander here

and my name is...

Miss Inch.

Yes. Miss Inch.

I'd like, at this time, to introduce

a visitor from the next hilltop over,

from the Thunderhead Boys' Camp.

Chief Eaglewood.

Thank you, Miss Inch,

and hello to all of you.

Looks like a crackerjack

troop of girls there.

Why am I here?

Well, that's our little surprise.

Trooper Stafford, ten-shun!

Stand up, boy.

What a dream!

Little surprise for you, young ladies.

Saturday night, we're having a dance.

Quiet, girls.

We've asked the Thunderhead Boys' Camp

to come over for the occasion.

We accept your invitation.

A word of warning. Watch your demerits.

Untidy little girls won't go to the dance,

so keep those tents clean,

your uniforms spanking fresh,

and we'll all be one big happy family!

Oh, no.

What are you staring at?

Excuse me, but haven't you noticed?

We look like each other.

Turn your head. Let me see that profile.

That's who it is!

She's the spitting image of you-know-who.

- Who?

- Frankenstein!

Not wanted!

Those monsters! They gopher-trapped us!

- Morning, Miss Inch.

- Morning, Miss Grunecker.

- Where would you like to start?

- Why not start with tent Arapahoe?

I'm sure you'll find it shipshape.

Think of all that we could share

Let's get together every day

Every day and everywhere

And though we haven't got a lot

We could be sharing all we've got

Together...

What if we get some ants

and dump them down her dress?

- Impractical.

- How do you find ants at night?

The three of them.

I'm so mad I could just spit.

Let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah

Two is twice as nice as one

Let's get together right away

We'll be having twice the fun

And you can always count on me...

I got an idea. Come on.

Let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah

- How do you like camp?

- It's OK, I guess.

I'm not coming back to this one.

They won't let you wear lipstick or perfume.

I feel naked without my lipstick.

- Where are you from?

- Monterey, California.

- That's great.

- You'd love California. I do.

- It's sort of marvellous, actually.

- It sounds great.

It's absolute fun living in California.

When I get from camp,

Dad takes me on a trek into the mountains.

Gee, that's great. Your mother lets you go?

I don't have a mother. Just Dad and me.

He's wonderful.

Besides, I know most everything

about camping and wood lore.

We have a ball -

just Daddy and me and Hecky.

- It's hot out here.

- Who's Hecky?

Our ranch foreman. He tells sensational

stories. He used to be a rodeo rider.

- They've started the music again.

- I guess we oughta?

I love dancing. I could dance all night -

especially with you, Wilfred.

- Where could she have done it?

- I don't know! I just went out...

Stay out of our tent from now on.

You vicious little wretch!

Stop it! Sharon, let go!

Stop it!

I've got a cake in my hands! Stop it.

You little wretches!

Congratulations.

In the history of our camp,

that was the most infamous,

the most revolting, the most disgusting

display of hooliganism we have ever had.

Brawling in front of our guests.

And worst of all, sisters

who should be setting a good example.

- We're not sisters.

- I've never seen her before.

- They are, aren't they?

- No, Ma'am. Just look-alikes.

An amazing resemblance.

I gather that you two girls

don't get along together.

Have you ever heard

of Gilbert and Sullivan?

Yes, Ma'am.

They were composers.

They wrote a memorable song called

"Let the Punishment Fit the Crime".

Let the punishment fit the crime.

Sharon McKendrick, we are waiting.

Girls, follow me.

Girls, that's enough of this nonsense!

Go back to your activities!

All right, young ladies.

In here.

Yes...

Yes.

Four weeks left

and you'll spend them together.

Room together, eat together, play together.

You'll find a way to live with each other,

or you'll punish yourselves far better

than I ever could. Bye, girls.

It drives her crazy. I completely ignore her.

- Good!

- The Coventry treatment.

The silence will drive her out of her mind.

- My goodness! Hurry! Quick!

- I've got it!

Turn it down over there. Tight.

- Thanks.

- You're welcome.

Gosh! Look at this mess!

- Are any of them spoilt?

- It didn't do them any good.

Darn! Look at this one. It's ruined.

That's a shame. Who is he?

Are you kidding? Ricky Nelson.

Your boyfriend?

I wish he was!

You mean you never heard of him?

Where do you come from? Outer space?

No. I'm from Boston.

Oh... Boston.

- Where's your home?

- California.

I've seen movies of California. Is it nice?

Sensational. We got a ranch in Carmel.

I got a picture. You wanna see it?

That's the house.

The stables go off down there.

- How lovely.

- I got my own horse.

We've got a lake. You can fall out of

the front door and go swimming any time.

- Who is this?

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