The Parent Trap Page #20

ELIZABETH:

But this'll be your chance to really get to know the girls... Starting next week, they're half yours.

Nick catches Elizabeth's eye. She blows him a kiss.

ELIZABETH:

Have fun yall'!

As the car pulls off, Chessy turns to Elizabeth.

CHESSY:

I would pay to see that woman climb a mountain.

A VISTA OF RUGGED TERRAIN

as far as the eye can see. CAMERA DISCOVERS Hallie and Annie climbing a steep hill, wearing back-pack and baseball caps. They're followed by Meredith, puffing and perspiring, dabbing sunscreen, on her nose as she tries to keep her balance. Nick brings up the rear. Meredith plops down on a rock, trying to catch her breath.

MEREDITH:

I'm gonna kill my trainer... He says I'm in such great shape...

(rubbing her legs)

I can't believe people actually do this for fun.

NICK:

(calls)

Girls, hold on, we're stopping.

Hallie

(coming back towards them)

Again? Dad, at this rate, it'll take three days just to get up the mountain.

NICK:

Meredith isn't used to the altitude... Just chill, okay?

Behind Nick and Meredith, we SEE Annie SLIPPING LARGE ROCKS into Meredith's Prada Backpack.

MEREDITH:

Somebody hand me my Evian... I can't move.

Annie spots a SMALL LIZARD, grabs it and places it on top of Meredith's water bottle.

Annie

Here you go, Mer.

Meredith takes the bottle, lifts it to her mouth and finds herself =-TO-EYE with the LIZARD. She SCREAMS, tossing the Evian bottle in the air, losing her balance and SLIPPING off the rock.

NICK:

Honey, you okay?

Annie

(catching the Lizard)

This little guy was on her Evian bottle, I guess.

(holding Lizard upside down by it's tail)

He won't hurt you, Mer.

MEREDITH:

(S CREAMS again)

Get it away from me! I hate things that .crawl. It's disgusting... It's a lizard, it should be a belt. Ugh, how can you touch it? Put it down!

Annie

Okay.

Annie walks behind Meredith and gently DEPOSITS the Lizard right on top of Meredith's head.

NICK:

Why don't I take the lead, you two help

Meredith.

Nick moves off. Meredith rises, still not knowing the Lizard sits on top of her head.

MEREDITH:

(to Girls)

Sure, you're going to help me... right over a cliff, you'll help me.

Hallie

(sotto, to Annie)

Not a bad idea. See any cliffs?

Meredith GROANS as she now lifts her much heavier backpack.

Annie

Need a hand?

MEREDITH:

(pulling away)

Not from you, thank you. Don't think I can't see right past those angelic faces. one more trick from you two and I promise I'll make your lives miserable from the day I say 11 do'. Got it?

Hallie

Got it, Cruella.

MEREDITH:

(turns)

What'd you call me?

Hallie

Nothing. Not a thing...

(sotto)

Cruella.

(then, turns back)

oh, Mer... I think there's something on your head...

The Girls-walk ahead. Meredith reaches up and feels her hair... then her HAND lands on the LIZARD. She SCREAMS a BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAM and the Lizard panics and runs down her

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FACE and right INTO HER MOUTH. Meredith's EYES BULGE, she

SPITS the Lizard out, GAGGING and COUGHING. Nick and the

Girls run back.

NICK:

Are you okay?!? What happened?!

Bright RED and in SHOCK, Meredith stomps her feet and points to Annie and Hallie. We can almost see the smoke pouring out of her ears.

Annie

What did we do, Dad? We were with you.

EXT. TRAIL - A LITTLE LATER

Meredith walks by herself, banging the buttons on her cell phone.

MEREDITH:

Please work... Hello? Hello?

Meredith stops when she SEES Annie and Hallie bent over examining something on the ground. Meredith sneaks up behind them and OVERHEARS:

Annie

I didn't know they had mountain lions up here.

Hallie

Oh yeah, the place is crawling with them.

(winks at Annie)

An old Indian guide once showed me how to keep them away.

(picks up TWO STICKS and hits them together)

Just do this and they'll never come near you.

The Girls pick up sticks &,ad move off down the trail, CLACF,ING them together. Meredith stoops, picks up two sticks, CLACKS them together and follows.

A CRACKLING CAMP FIRE THAT NIGHT

Nick, the Girls and Meredith sit around the campfire. Everyone eats trout, except Meredith, who sits on a rock, wrapped in a blanket, swatting at mosquitos and rubbing lotion on her arm.

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Annie

You sure you don't want some trout, Mom? Is that okay, by the way? If we start calling you Mom?

MEREDITH:

I think your mother would prefer if you called me Meredith and no thank you, I do not eat trout... for the thousandth time. I'll wait until breakfast. What are we having?

NICK AND THE GIRLS

Trout.

NICK:

We always live off the trail up here, it's part of the experience.

MEREDITH:

(swatting away)

What's the other part, being eaten to death by mosquitos?

(swats at another mosquito, then looks at lotion)

You'd think they actually liked this stuff.

NICK:

What is that you're using? (looks at the bottle, puts some on his hand)

You're going to attract every mosquito on the mountain. This is sugar and water... Where’d you get this stuff?

Meredith looks to the Girls, who busy themselves eating.

MEREDITH:

That's it. I’m taking a large sleeping pill and going to bed.

She picks up her two sticks and WHACKS them together as she moves off toward her tent.

NICK:

Sweetheart, what are you doing?

MEREDITH:

I don’t want the mountain lions to...

(realizes she's been had)

--There are no mountain lions up here, are

there?

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Nick shakes his head. Meredith glares at the Girls, drops her sticks in the fire, walks to Nick and gives him a luscious kiss goodnight, smiles at the Girls and marches off to her tent.

NICK:

I'm telling you guys, lay off. This isn't her thing, okay? I'm not marrying her because she's Annie Oakley.

Annie

Who’s Annie Oakley?

NICK:

Just cool it.

EXT. CAMPSITE - MIDNIGHT

Everything is quiet. An Owl HOOTS in the distance. The Girls sneak out of their tent and tiptoe over to Meredith's tent.

INT. MEREDITH'S TENT

The Girls step inside, see Meredith fast asleep on her air mattress. They position themselves at Meredith's head and feet and on the "count of three", LIFT her up on her mattress. It isn't easy. As they carry her out, Meredith -moves her arm, brushing her hand across Hallie's nose. Hallie twitches her nose but keeps going.

The Girls step out of the tent carrying Meredith on her mattress. CAMERA TRACKS them down a path to the lake-front, where they quietly drag the air mattress into THE LAKE, nod to each other and push her off.

Hallie

(watching Meredith drift away)

Sweet dreams, Mommy Dearest.

EXT. LAKE - HIGH SHOT - DAWN

Meredith is sound asleep on her back in the middle of the lake. A BIRD rests on-her nose.

CLOSER ANGLE - MEREDITH

She flops an arm into the water.

MEREDITH:

(in her sleep)

That feels so nice...

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She gently moves her fingers in the water, then her EYES SPRING OPEN. She looks straight up as the BIRD flaps its wings and flies across her face. Meredith SC sits up, realizes she's in the middle of the lake. She SC again, her voice ECHOING off the mountains.

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