The Perfect Score Page #5

- Make it roses,

and you think you could hook me up

with a bottle of champagne?

- Yeah, I think I could do that.

- All right, nice.

- And I need a card signed, "From..."

- "From your secret admirer."

"From your secret admirer."

Here's the name and address.

If you could do anything with your life,

and money was no object,

what would you do?

Anything at all?

When I was a kid,

I used to play this video game

for hours, "Street Fighter 2".

And I remember thinking, "You know,

people get paid to do this.

"To think up the game

and to create the characters."

Like there's this

one character, Blanka.

He's, like, half-human and half-lizard,

who eats his opponents.

Well, I mean, you know, he either

zaps them with lightning or he...

... bites their faces off.

It's pretty cool, huh?

So you'd design video games.

No.

I'd kind of like to be Blanka.

I was thinking someday

I might wanna be an actor.

As opposed to solving world hunger

or curing a terminal disease?

- See what I mean?

- I would run a no-kill animal shelter.

Or...

I'd just be a mom.

Not just a mother.

I would be a real mom.

You know, one who cared more

about the title of "parent"

than the one on her business card.

Or porn.

Hey, guys, he's here. Dave's here.

She opens up the door, you haul ass.

- What do I do?

- You wait here with me.

They only need Roy.

All right, Flash, you ready?

You need to get off that bong.

- OK, I'm here.

- OK, wait.

Not yet. Wait for me.

You sure they just need Roy?

- Maybe we should go too.

- Just Roy.

All right, Roy. Get ready.

- You Bernie?

- Yeah.

Delivery.

- Go, go, go!

- Go, go, go!

Go!

Oh, hell, no!

Sh*t...

- Is he in?

- What the hell was that?

- Francesca, is he in?

- Yeah, he's in. Plus two.

What?

Oh, man, not steps!

We think the answers are in this

computer, but there's a password.

- Is this the guy?

- Yeah.

You're a filthy man, Arnie.

- What do they call this thing?

- "Verification master".

"Mercer County SAT exam

to be administered Fall 2004".

Print one. Print one.

Print one, let's get out of here.

You need three other passwords

and three other people to print.

- Can't you figure it out?

- Sure.

Just give me six months

and a ClA mainframe.

Well, that was fun.

- The exam's right here.

- Yeah, you just need the answers.

Exactly.

Oh, I get it. Come on, team.

Makes perfect sense.

We'll take the test now so we can

steal our own answers.

Then we'll take the real test

with the stolen answers we were

afraid would be wrong

in the first place.

It's nice. It's really nice.

- So who wants pancakes?

- Wait. Guys, the exam's right here.

Maybe it was bigger than us

one-on-one,

but it can't beat us all together.

- Kyle, come on, man.

- Matty, just try this, OK?

"lf it takes 1 5 people eight hours

to make 100 items,

"how many hours will

it take six people,

"working at the same rate,

to make half as many items?"

Ten.

Ten hours.

D. Ten.

She's second in the class.

All right, all right, let's see.

"A ten-quart mixture consists of

one part juice to nine parts water..."

Jesus, what lightweight's

making this drink?

"lf X quarts of juice and Y quarts

of water are added to make

"a 27-quart mixture that consists of

one part juice to two parts water,

"what is the value of X?"

Nine.

C is nine.

No. It says, if X quarts of juice

are added, what is the value of X?

We already have one part juice.

So nine minus one equals X.

- Eight.

- Yeah.

- D is eight.

- He's right. Sorry.

No. Guys, don't be sorry.

That's two down.

We can walk away right now,

but what are we walking away to?

I say we trust each other

and try as a group.

- He's right. We can do this.

- Unless we run out of time.

So we split it up. Can you

access this from another computer?

- As long as it's in this office.

- Done. All right.

Someone's gotta take a crack

at verbal. Francesca?

No, no. Me and words

are not so goodly.

OK, Anna, you and I will do verbal.

Someone's gotta do math.

I'll do it.

You sure? It could be a little...

Have you ever heard of the term,

"Kiss my ass"?

Math doesn't scare me.

You just take care of the verbal.

OK, who's helping Des?

Well, I guess I can.

But only with quadratic equations,

coordinate geometry

and algebraic visualizations.

- Well, if you want...

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Hey.

Well, Hasselhoff, it looks like you

and me. We'll watch the lobby.

You don't have to wait there.

Guard's not due for a couple hours.

You know, Sandy liked

this blue color.

True Berry Blue.

Not anymore.

You said, "liked".

You said, "Sandy liked".

Likes. Whatever.

What's wrong,

she doesn't call anymore?

No, she calls. She calls.

Yeah, but not like before.

She's busy.

Matty, it's over.

It's never gonna be like

the way it was.

Don't...

Look, you don't know

anything about it, OK?

Well, I know it's not healthy.

Yeah, and folding yourself up

into a web page

because Daddy doesn't

love you enough is, huh?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.

Then why'd you say it?

Because she doesn't call anymore.

Remember when you said that you

were great at being Sandy's boyfriend?

Well, you weren't.

That's nice, Francesca.

Why don't you just rub it in a little...

You weren't great at being

some girl's boyfriend, Matty.

You just found someone who

let you be OK with yourself.

- "X is to Y..."

- As this sh*t is to boring.

What score do you need

on the test anyway?

- A 900.

- And you're taking the math for us?

I was afraid of the verbal, Roy. I can

ace the math and still not get a 900.

So why don't you go pro?

You don't know my mom, man.

She all about college degrees.

She worked three jobs.

If I blow my knee out in college,

all I got is credits.

If I blow my knee out in the NBA,

I got a four-year guaranteed contract.

Millions.

So, what does she say

when you tell her that?

I can't.

You just don't know my mom, man.

All this because you

can't talk to your mom?

- Can you talk to yours?

- My mom's dead.

But if she wasn't...

Yeah.

I think I could talk to her.

Let me get in there, huh?

You know, a lot of people think

these questions are difficult.

- Not me.

- No?

No.

These questions all have answers.

- We good?

- Yeah.

All right, let's get out of here.

- Roy, what's in your bag?

- Nothing.

I needed some school supplies.

- Roy, you can't take this stuff.

- Why not?

If anything's missing,

Francesca gets busted.

- So?

- Why did you take the guy's photo?

- Dude, his wife is hot. Look.

- Come on, I'll help him take it back.

- We'll wait here.

- Anna and I will be on the roof.

I can't believe it. This is so awesome.

You got your answers.

Yeah, that too, you know,

but it's all of it.

We did it.

We haven't done anything yet.

What's going on with you?

I don't know. I'm having fun, I guess.

I mean, I know how people see me.

Like, one of those perfect girls

that everything always works out for.

I just always wanted to punch

one of them in the face.

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