The Philadelphia Story Page #3

I'll bet it's on account

of Father and that dancer.

- Dinah, what do you know?

- I listen around.

Is there no such thing

as privacy anymore?

Only in bed, Mother,

and not always there.

Watching every little mannerism...

jotting down notes on how we sit,

stand, talk, eat and move!

- Will they do that?

- All in that horrible, snide English.

If we have to submit to it

to save Father's face...

which, incidentally,

doesn't deserve it...

I'll give them a picture of home life

that'll stand their hair on end!

Tracy, we must just be ourselves,

very much ourselves.

But you want us to create

a good impression, don't you?

They don't know that we know

what they're here for?

No. That was understood.

The girl's quite nice.

He writes short stories.

Very down to earth.

- They'll love us.

- Oh, dear, you'd both better dress.

And both of you, promise to behave

like ladies in front of these creatures.

We'll do our best, Mrs. Lord.

I don't know how good that is.

Dexter, how perfectly dreadful.

What'll they say about Seth not being

here for his own daughter's wedding?

I know, dear.

You'd better go and tell them how

terribly happy we are to have them.

That's the old Quaker spirit,

Mother Lord.

Keep swinging.

Oh. I thought it was that butler.

The family will be down

to welcome you.

- What with?

- With open arms.

They're terribly happy to have

any friends of Junius's here.

- Do they know about us?

- Why should they?

Look, Haven, our research department

didn't give us much data.

This fianc of this girl,

George Kittredge, age 32?

- You know him very well?

- Well enough.

"General manager of Quaker State Coal,

company owned by Seth Lord."

- That's the girl's father, huh?

- What a coincidence.

How'd he meet her?

Heaven brought them together,

I imagine.

"Seth Lord.

"See Banker's Annual,

Directory of Directors."

- Is there a library in town?

- Yes.

I suppose you wouldn't

know where that is?

Well, roughly.

My grandfather built it.

Now, about this girl...

"Tracy Samantha Lord."

What about her?

Well, what's her

leading characteristic?

She has a horror of men

who wear their hats in the house.

Leading characteristics

to be filled in later.

I can fill them in right now.

The young, rich, rapacious

American female.

No other country

where she exists.

And would I change places

with Tracy Samantha Lord...

for all her wealth and beauty?

Oh, boy, just ask me.

Well, tell four footmen to call me

in time for lunch, will you?

How do you do?

Friends of my brother Junius,

are you not?

I am Dinah Lord.

My real name is Diana,

but my sister changed it.

I'm Elizabeth lmbrie.

This is Macaulay Connor.

Enchante de vous voir!

Enchante de faire votre connaissance!

I spoke French

before I spoke English.

My early childhood was spent in Paris

where my father worked in a bank:

- The House of Morgan.

- Really?

C'est vrai absolument!

Can you play the piano?

I can, and sing at the same time!

Listen.

Lydia, oh, Lydia

Say, have you met Lydia

Oh, Lydia

the tattooed lady

She has eyes

that folks adore so

And a torso even more so

What is this?

Idiot, probably.

The queen of tattoos

On her back

is the battle of Waterloo

Beside it the wreck

of the Hesperus too

And proudly above

waves the red, white

And blue

You can learn a lot from Lydia

Ah, petite soeur,

tu es un vritable petit Chopin!

- Tu trouves?

- Mais certainement.

Mais qu'est-ce qu'il y a?

Voyons, tu es ple.

Montre-moi ta langue. J'espere bien

que ce n'est pas le smallpox.

- Le smallpox?

- Mais oui.

Va dire a maman de se dpecher!

Oh. How do you do?

I'm Tracy Lord.

It's so nice having you here.

How did you leave Junius?

We left Junius fine.

That little sister of yours...

Isn't she a dear?

So talented.

- Junius is such a lamb, isn't he?

- Yes, isn't he?

It's a pity none of the male members

of the family are going to be here.

- Where's your father?

- Darling Papa.

- I do hope you'll stay for my wedding.

- We'd like to very much.

- That was our idea.

- I'm so glad that it occurred to you.

The house is in rather

a mess, of course.

We'll all have to huddle here

and overflow onto the porch.

- I hope your rooms are comfortable.

- Your father sick?

- What a cunning little camera.

- I'm an awful nuisance with it.

But you couldn't be.

I hope you'll take loads.

Dear Papa and Mama aren't

allowing any reporters in.

That is, except for little Mr. Grace,

who does the social news.

Can you imagine a grown-up man

having to sink so low?

It does seem kind of bad.

You're a kind of writer...

- aren't you, Mr. Connor?

- Sort of.

- A book?

- Yes.

Under what name do you publish?

My own. Macaulay Connor.

What's the Macaulay for?

Well, my father

taught English history.

I'm "Mike" to my friends.

Of whom you have many, I'm sure.

English history,

it's always fascinated me:

Cromwell, Robin Hood,

Jack the Ripper.

Where did he teach?

I mean, your father.

In a little high school

in South Bend, Indiana.

South Bend.

It sounds like dancing,

doesn't it?

You must have had a most

happy childhood there.

- Yeah, it was terrific.

- I'm so glad.

- I didn't mean it that way.

- I'm so sorry. Why?

Well, lack of wherewithal,

I guess.

But that doesn't always cause

unhappiness, does it?

Not if you're

the right kind of man.

George Kittredge, my fianc,

never had anything either, and he...

Are either of you married?

You mean you were,

but now you're divorced.

- The fact is...

- Surely you're not ashamed of it.

- Of course I'm not.

- What?

It was years ago.

I was only a kid in Duluth.

Good heavens, Liz.

You never told me.

- You never asked me.

- I know, but you...

Joe Smith, hardware.

You're the darnedest girl, Liz.

I think I'm sweet.

Duluth must be a lovely spot.

It's west of here, isn't it?

Sort of, but occasionally

we get the breezes...

And this is your first visit

in Philadelphia.

It's a quaint old place,

don't you think? Filled with relics.

And how old are you, Mr. Connor?

Thirty.

One book isn't much

for a man of 30.

I don't mean to criticize.

You probably have other interests

outside your work.

None.

I mean us.

How sweet.

Are you going together?

- I beg your pardon?

- That is an odd question.

I don't see why.

I think it's very interesting.

Miss lmbrie, don't you agree...

that if a man says he loves a girl,

he ought to marry her?

Can she be human?

Please, Mr. Connor.

I asked Miss lmbrie a question.

Well, that depends. L...

I'll see what's keeping Mama.

Who's doing the interviewing here?

- You don't suppose she caught on?

- No, she was born that way.

- Don't let her throw ya.

- Do you want to take over?

- I wanna go home.

- Ah, here you are.

How do you do?

We're so happy to have you.

Forgive me for not coming in sooner,

but things are in such a state.

My little girl.

She's going to leave me.

Aren't you pretty, my dear.

But then Junius's friends always are.

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