The Philadelphia Story Page #9

- I want.

Hello, Dexter.

Hello, George.

Hello, Mike.

Second door to the right,

top of the stairs. Don't wake Dinah.

My feet are made of clay.

Did you know?

Good night, little man.

How are the mighty fallen.

If I know Tracy,

and I know her well...

she'll remember little of this.

For the second time in her life,

she'll draw quite a tidy blank.

- You don't believe it, then?

- Believe what?

Well, the implications of

what you saw, let us say.

- What else am I to believe?

- That's entirely up to you.

I got eyes, I got imagination,

haven't I?

I don't know.

Have you?

Oh, so you pretend

not to believe it.

Yes, I pretend not to.

- Then you don't know women.

- That's possible.

- And you're a fool.

- That's quite possible.

- You won't be too hard on her?

- I'll make up my own mind what I'll be!

We're all only human, you know.

You! All of you with

your sophisticated ideas!

Ain't it awful?

Why, you low...

What right have you...

A husband's.

'Til tomorrow, Kittredge.

Hey, fella.

How do you feel?

- Lf you think l...

- I know.

I'm sorry. I thought I'd better

hit you before he did.

He's in better shape than I am.

Well, you'll do.

Hello, Mr. Dexter.

Anything wrong?

Not a thing, Mac.

Just as quiet as a church.

Who is it?

Doggone. I thought it

might've been Mr. Kittredge.

We can't have everything, Mac.

Good night.

- Mr. Tracy...

- Good grief, man.

Don't scream at me at the top

of your voice like that.

Miss Dinah is waiting for you, sir.

Miss Dinah waiting for me?

Where and why?

Just outside the door, sir.

I don't know why.

This is one of those days

which the pages of history teach us...

are best spent lying in bed.

Uncle Willie!

Uncle Willie,

where are you going?

Back to bed, unless you

give me your oath...

you will speak in

a civilized tone of voice.

I'll be quiet, Uncle Willie.

It's so important that I see you.

Must we ride in that thing? Wouldn't we

be more comfortable on pogo sticks?

I had to be alone with you,

and this is very intimate.

- What's the matter?

- Oh, nothing much.

My head just fell off, that's all.

What is all this gibberish

about Mr. Connor?

What makes you suspect what

and since when?

Last night,

and well into the morning.

Uncle Willie,

isn't my duty to tell George?

He might want to marry her anyway.

But she can't. If she marries anyone,

it's got to be Mr. Connor.

Why, Dinah.

What makes you think she should?

Apparently the little cherub

has heard or seen something.

That's Dexter's own Dinah.

You have a certain amount of cheek

walking in here on this of all mornings.

- Do I?

- Yes.

What's all this

about Mr. Connor, Dinah?

Did the party last night

give you bad dreams?

- It wasn't any dream.

- I wouldn't be too sure.

It's hard to tell once you've

gone to sleep, isn't it?

Is it?

What-ho, the bride.

Hello.

Um, isn't it a fine day, though.

Is everybody fine?

That's fine.

My, I'm hearty.

How do you feel otherwise?

I don't know what's the matter with me.

I must have had

too much sun yesterday.

- My eyes don't open properly.

- Really?

Ugh! Please go home, Dext.

Not until we've got

those eyes open.

Uncle Willie. Good morning.

That remains to be seen.

Aren't you here early,

Uncle Willie?

It's nearly half past twelve.

It can't be.

Where's Mother?

She's talking with the orchestra.

Father with the minister.

And Mr. Connor,

he hasn't come down yet.

And it's Saturday,

your wedding day, remember?

Thanks loads.

It's nice to have things account...

Only I wonder

what this might be.

- That looks like a wristwatch.

- But whose?

I found it in my room.

I nearly stepped on it.

Also, I think I was robbed at your house

last night, Uncle Willie.

My bracelet and engagement rings

are missing...

- Here you are.

- But you weren't at the party.

- Wasn't I?

- Were you?

Don't tell me you don't remember.

I do, now, sort of.

But there were such a lot of people.

I stayed so late.

You should have taken a quick swim

when you got home.

A swim?

A swim!

There! Now they're open.

That was just the beginning,

and it was no dream.

Do you suppose,

speaking of eye-openers...

That's the first sane remark

I've heard today. Come along.

I know a formula that can pop pennies

off the eyelids of dead Irishmen.

Dinah, if the conversation

should lag...

you might tell Tracy

about your dream.

- What did he say?

- Oh, nothing.

- What did he say?

- Oh, nothing.

Tray, I hate you to get married

and go away.

I'll miss you, darling.

I'll miss all of you.

You know, I did have the funniest

dream about you last night.

Did you? Do you like

my dress, Dinah?

- Yes, ever so much.

- Feels awfully heavy.

It was all certainly

pretty rooty-tooty.

- What was?

- My dream.

I dreamed I got up

and went over to the window.

Guess what I dreamed I saw coming over

out of the woods.

I haven't the faintest idea.

A skunk?

Well, sort of.

It was Mr. Connor.

Mr. Connor?

Yes, with his arms full of something,

and guess what it turned out to be.

- What?

- You, and some clothes.

Wasn't it funny? It was sort of like

as if you were coming from the pool.

The pool?

I'm going crazy. I'm standing here,

solidly, on my own two hands...

and going crazy.

- Then what?

- After a while, I opened my door...

and there he was in the hall,

still coming along with you...

puffing like a steam engine.

His wind can't be very good.

Then what?

- You were sort of crooning.

- I never crooned in my life.

I'm only saying

what it sounded like.

And then he...

Guess what.

I couldn't possibly.

He sailed right into your room

with you, and that scared me...

so I got up

and went to your door...

and peeked in

to make sure you were all right.

And guess what.

- What?

- You were. He was gone by then.

Gone?

Of course he was gone.

He was never there.

I know, Tracy.

- I should certainly hope you did.

- I'm certainly glad I do.

Because if I didn't, and in a little

while I heard the minister say...

"If anyone knows any just cause

or reason why these two...

"should not be united

in holy matrimony..."

I just wouldn't know what to do.

- Dexter says it's a dream too.

- You told Dexter all that?

Not a word.

Not a single word.

You know how quick he is.

You little fiend.

How can you stand there...

Dinah, your mother wants

to have a look at you.

I look wonderful.

I smell good too.

- Father?

- Yes, Tracy.

I'm glad you came back.

I'm glad you're here.

Thank you, child.

I'm sorry I'm... truly sorry

I'm a disappointment to you.

I never said that, daughter.

I never will.

- Good morning.

- Oh. Hello.

I'm testing the air.

I like it,

but it doesn't like me.

Hello, Dinah.

How do you do?

Did you have a good sleep?

Wonderful. Wonderful.

And you?

Marvelous. Have you

ever seen a handsomer day?

Never, never.

What'd it set you back?

I got it for nothing

for being a good girl.

Good. Good.

Don't worry, I'm going.

Why should you?

I guess you must have things

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