The Pick-up Artist Page #6

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How could I have blown it? Just one ace.

- Wait. Is this the way out?

- Where do you want to go?

- To the bus.

- Bus to where?

Home, to get Flash out of town.

Here.

My grandmother takes this.

You don't understand what this feels like.

I've been doing double shifts,

I've been betting on horses.

I take everything I've got and I lost it all

in there, cos I really thought I had it.

- I don't know what else to do now.

- Listen.

Why don't you try gambling on me?

I'm serious. What have you got to lose?

Admit you don't have things

under control for once in your life.

For once in my life? How the hell would you

know about my life? We just met yesterday.

- You don't know me.

- Is it too much to ask to get to know you?

- Why?

- Why?

Yeah?

- Just come here.

- Where?

- How old are you?

- Why?

Just how old?

19. Why?

- You're too old.

- For what?

To live like his little girl. You think you live

with Flash cos you want to take care of him?

The truth is you're just scared to leave.

Don't you think it's time that you got out

on your own, gave yourself a chance?

If you don't want to gamble on me,

gamble on yourself.

By the way, has Flash been your boyfriend

for the whole 19 years?

Look, I never told you that Flash

was my boyfriend. I just didn't correct you.

- Fine. Get in.

- So who do you live with? Alone?

As a matter of fact,

I live with an older woman.

My, my, my. How old?

Older.

So you've lived with your grandmother

since you were nine?

I was positive you lived in this car.

- It's the only place I have privacy.

- Where are we going?

I'm sick of privacy.

- What gives the biggest payout?

- Roulette.

- How much does it pay?

- 35 to one.

- Hi, how are you? I'm Marty Copland.

- Hi. Your sign says you buy cars.

Cars, yeah, but interest in a Camaro

convertible happens to be at an all-time low.

- So you're not interested?

- That's not what I said.

What I said was the Camaro convertible

is at an all-time low.

No. That's absurd.

This is a phenomenal car, a collector's item.

- Come on, Jack. Let's just go.

- That's the oldest trick in the business.

- How much do you want?

- 6,000.

Six? Not a penny over four.

- 4,000 sounds reasonable.

- 2950.

- One little stall, you think that's worth 1,050?

- You can say the magic word.

- What's that?

- No.

OK, no.

2950 cash?

Why not? This is Atlantic City, isn't it?

You know what I'd rather have right now

than $2950? A cheeseburger.

When I was 19, I went through a period where

everything seemed hopeless. It gets better.

- How old are you now?

- 21.

You know what this cheeseburger's like? Life.

You look at it, touch it, chew it, swallow it,

add ketchup, take a second bite, third bite.

You never think you'll be looking at

an empty plate. Next thing you know, that's it.

- No more burger.

- So order another.

No, there are no others.

You've eaten the last burger on Earth.

- So you order a hot dog.

- No, you face the truth.

You admit you're tapped out,

and you say, "Never again."

"If I get off this time,

either I move on or I die."

- If you want my cheeseburger, just say so.

- Let's go.

- What's your lucky number?

- 11.

- Mine's 13.

- What else would it be?

- How much does it pay?

- 35 to one.

35 to one? 35 to one. Right, 35 to one.

OK, wait. 35 to one.

- Place your bets.

- My lucky number and yours.

- I put a thousand on me, 1950 on you.

- Why not half on each?

- I'm the amateur.

- OK, here we go.

No more bets, please.

13, black, odd.

$35,000!

I'm gonna go settle this up.

Jack!

- Thank you.

- I'll be right back.

$25,418.

- Fernando.

- Where's Flash?

- With friends. The way we all should die.

- We had a deal.

- You'll get him.

- When?

- When Randy starts behaving.

- Are you referring to Mr. Portacarrero?

Get lost, cupcake, unless you want

your neck separated from your face.

What is this sh*t?

I pay off a $25,000 debt,

and for that, you're gonna kill me?

What do I get for 50,000?

Sodomy and mutilation?

You're a crook! You're worse than a crook

because you're a cheap, lying crook.

All I have to do is make

one phone call to Serge Handfeld,

and you'll do 20 years

for kidnapping and extortion.

I've seen your kind all my life.

Everybody has, Hot Lonnie Scalera.

He's a pick-up artist.

He hits on women. He walks, he talks.

He jumps them in the back of his car,

then takes their number and never calls.

Admit it, Hot Lonnie.

Does your mother do your laundry?

Does she wash lipstick off your underpants?

- Excuse me.

- No, you excuse me, you son of a b*tch.

It's your mother.

I bet you got a list of all the women

that you've done this to in your back pocket.

- Could I take a look at the list?

- What list?

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

- Gino.

- I don't like that kind of talk. It's disgusting.

- Gino...

Shut up. Do what Mr. Jericho says.

Return the gentleman to his daughter.

Jack! What a surprise!

What's going on?

Hi.

Here I am.

- How are you feeling?

- Fine. You?

Fine.

You were wonderful.

Thanks.

So what are you gonna do now?

I'm gonna buy back my Camaro

and take you anywhere you wanna go.

You've done too much. I have to get back

to the city and make sure everything's OK.

Actually, I meant anywhere you want to go

for the rest of your life.

You're shameless.

Is rain wet? Is London English?

Does popcorn pop? What else is new?

I don't know where I want to go.

I'm going in the wrong direction.

Am I a wrong direction?

We're both running around

taking chances we can't get away with.

- We got away with it tonight.

- So what if we did? We shouldn't have tried.

I'll always be grateful to you,

but we're not good for each other.

So in other words, because of tonight,

I shouldn't be with you.

- We shouldn't be with each other.

- Why?

You're just as big a gambler as I am

and we're just gonna keep making each other

take chances that we can't get away with.

I'd have been on your list,

you wouldn't have come to my house.

None of this would've happened.

- And we wouldn't have won.

- Well, so what if we did?

It was wonderful once, but it was dumb luck.

Can't you see that?

That's all there is to it.

I mean, we're just not good for each other.

I'm sorry.

You can't live your life gambling like that.

Being with you isn't a gamble! You can

only gamble when you have a choice.

I... I want to be with you forever

and I don't have a choice about that.

Maybe I don't have a prayer in the world,

but it's not a gamble.

Maybe what I feel is not good for us,

but I'm not gonna stand there

and listen to you tell me it's a bad habit.

Speaking of bad habits...

I don't need this any more.

Daddy, what are you doing here?

- You know Patsy Cappallucci, don't you?

- Cappalluso.

Of course. Cappalluso.

No offense intended.

- Come on, let's go.

- All right. Good night.

He means well.

Well, you know something?

I can't do this any more.

Sorry.

Come on.

- Jackie.

- Hi, Grandma.

This is Serge Handfeld, from Vienna.

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