The Pink Panther Strikes Again

Good morning, Doctor.

Good morning, Charles.

You're looking splendid.

I feel splendid.

Every day, and in every way,

you're feeling..

Better and better.

- Indeed.

- Well, won't you sit here?

Wouldn't you like me to..

Not unless you want to.

No. I'll be quite comfortable here.

Thank you.

Doctor, I'm surprised.

Oh, of course. You quit.

Three months ago.

You know, there was a time

when your forgetfulness...

would have made me feel

very rejected.

- Not now, hmm?

- Well, a little rejected, perhaps.

- Did you do it intentionally?

- Why should I do that?

Well...

I'm a patient you consider

to be completely rehabilitated...

on your recommendation soon to appear

before the sanity board...

your reputation on the line.

A little test, perhaps, hmm?

Not very long ago,

an obvious trick like that...

would have sent you

into a towering rage.

And poor old Clouseau

would have silently...

and passively submitted

to another massacre.

It's a miracle you were somehow able

to keep putting him back together again.

Poor old Clouseau.

There was a time

when I couldn't even speak his name.

And there was also a time

when you would joyfully have killed him.

Yes.

I was a sick man, wasn't l?

We've come a long way, haven't we?

And you're not even a little bit

bothered when you think of Clouseau?

Not even a little bit.

- Do you believe me?

- If you say so.

Well, I could be lying.

You are a good psychiatrist,

but I may be a better liar.

For your sake, I hope you're not.

Sooner or later,

you'd run into Clouseau...

and then back here for life.

No more chance

of another hearing.

Coming here day after day, watching you

chain smoke into an early grave...

and knowing on certain mornings, you'll

be particularly morose and testy...

because you've had another fight

with your wife...

Iike this morning.

- How do you know that?

- It's the only time you doodle.

I keep forgetting you used to be

chief inspector of the Surete.

And will be again.

But Clouseau

is chief inspector now.

Till the better man comes along.

Well, in that case...

I think lnspector Clouseau had better

start looking to his laurels.

What? You mean...

The board meets at 2:00

this afternoon.

This afternoon?

If everything goes as I expect it to,

you'll be out of here this afternoon.

- Thank you.

- See you at 2:
00.

Clouseau!

Now, now, Doctor.

Some people would consider

your methods most unorthodox.

I was just making sure that you're not

a better liar than I am a psychiatrist.

2:
00.

Come along. Good.

How.

Help!

Grab hold of this.

Pull. Pull on this.

Help!

Out with the bad air,

in with the good.

Out, in.

- Don't look, Fiona!

- Out, out.

And now the kiss of life.

Pervert!

Dirty old men!

Please, there is no need

to thank me.

- Thank you?

- For saving your life.

Someone...

I was hit on the head.

Yes, you have received a bump

upon the head.

- "Beump"?

- What?

- You said "beump."

- Yes, I know that.

It is a large bump.

You could receive a concussion

from such a bump.

- Allow me to assist you.

- No!

I'm all right. I'm fine.

Never better.

Just a little shaky.

Probably the shock of...

I mean, the surprise

of seeing you here again today.

Well, I received a report...

from the sanity commission...

that they were going

to review your case today...

so I thought a few words from me

on your behalf...

Oh, God...

I mean, how generous of you, but...

Well, I'm not without influence,

you know.

Yes, I know that.

Yes, I have become

a rather important official...

in the department.

I've heard you are the new

chief inspector.

Yes.

Yes, we made quite a few changes

since you went crazy.

For the better, I'm sure.

By the way, Sergeant Chevalier

sends you his kind regards.

Oh, Sergeant Chevalier.

Good old Sergeant Chevalier.

How is he, anyway?

Well, you know, there are leaders

and there are followers...

and I'm afraid Sergeant Chevalier

will always be a follower, no?

Oh, yes.

And you, my friend Clouseau...

a leader, huh?

Always a leader?

Onwards and upwards to the top, hmm?

- It is my karma.

- What?

- My destiny.

- Oh, yes.

Yes, a few more years

on the force...

and I might even be persuaded

to run for the public office.

You can count on my vote.

And you, my friend,

can count on me...

to do everything in my power

to get you out of this place.

Oh, yes. I know how you feel.

My hat. Well...

Are you all right,

former Chief lnspector?

Yes!

Yes, I'm perfectly all right.

See?

One moment,

and I will have you extracted.

I'm fine. I am perfect.

Every day, and in every way...

I'm getting better and better.

Somewhere over the rainbow

I'm afraid that this

is just not your day, my friend.

But it is my day.

It is, my friend.

After three long terrible years...

it is at last my day.

I will not permit...

repeat... not permit anything...

repeat...

anything to spoil it.

Now, I will walk you to the gate...

and I will kiss you good-bye...

and you will drive off

in your new car...

which should rightfully be mine...

and then I will have my interview

with the sanity commission.

And they will set me free,

and then...

I will kill you.

- Kill you!

- Francois!

Start the car!

Kill!

I'll kill him!

I want to kill him!

I've got to kill him.

Oh, allow me.

Cato?

Forty winks.

It's the phone.

The phone is ringing.

Relax. I'll get it.

This is Chief lnspector Clouseau's

residence.

This is Chief lnspector Clouseau...

speaking on the phone.

What? Oh, put him on.

Good evening, Commissioner.

How are you? How is Madame

and all the little commissioners?

I see.

Well, you can rest assured...

that I shall take every precaution

that is necessary.

Thank you, Commissioner,

and good evening.

I have just received word

that former Chief lnspector Dreyfus...

has escaped from the insane asylum.

For some reason,

the deputy commissioner...

thinks that he might try

to kill me.

Obviously, the poor man is crazier

than anyone gives him credit for.

Nevertheless, I am ordered

to take every precaution.

See that the back and front doors

are locked...

while I slip into

my new hunchback disguise.

Both doors are locked now.

Who are you?

What have you done

with lnspector Clouseau?

Chief lnspector Clouseau.

Fooled you, didn't l?

Oh, Chief lnspector,

that is fantastic.

If you think this is fantastic...

wait till you see the full effect

with the hump.

The bells!

They deafen me!

Chief lnspector Clouseau?

Yes, this is

Chief lnspector Clouseau.

Who is speaking?

My name is Duval.

Claude Duval.

I have the honor to be chairman...

of the Jacques Clouseau

presentation committee.

The presentation committee?

For me?

For what purpose, may I ask?

For what purpose, you ask.

How modest of you.

The purpose, monsieur,

is to honor...

one of the city's most dedicated...

brave and selfless public servants.

You are most generous, monsieur.

Most.

Yes, I must admit I have often wondered,

considering my years on the force...

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