The Pink Panther Strikes Again Page #2

and my numerous accomplishments, why

recognition was not forthcoming earlier.

Absolutely right.

Nine years faithful service

at the Surete...

and not as much as a single decoration

in all that time.

Yes, that is quite correct.

However,

as you are no doubt aware...

I have recently received

an important promotion.

Really?

I have replaced the lunatic Dreyfus

as chief inspector.

I know, and I'm sure Paris sleeps

the more safely because of the change.

You're very most kind.

But I can assure you when it comes

to matters of keeping the peace...

I'm always on my toes.

Chief lnspector.

One moment, please.

Can't you see

that I'm on the phone?

Oh, yes, Commissioner.

Fortunately, there was sufficient air

still left in my hump...

to keep me afloat

until the rescue.

Yes. Well, thank you very much,

Commissioner. Good-bye.

That was the commissioner.

He was most concerned.

Well, you have been

very, very lucky, you know.

Yes, I know. Poor Cato

will be in the hospital for weeks.

Do you know what kind

of a bomb it was?

The exploding kind.

Mark my words, Francois.

Sinister forces are at work.

And this mad bomber

must be apprehended at all costs.

Make sure you issue

an all-points bulletin immediately.

- Yes, sir.

- What about my clothes?

Oh, Sergeant Chauvin

is rounding some up for you.

While you're waiting,

perhaps you'll sign the order...

to transport Jean Tournier

to prison.

Tournier the bank robber?

I shall be happy to sign that order.

Ah, it's life for you

this time, Tournier.

At last, we are rid of you.

I have to go to the toilet.

All right.

Thank you.

All right, Tournier.

That's long enough.

Now this is my plan.

Step number one:

I will recruit the world's greatest

criminal minds. Step number two:

I will build an organization

so sinister, so powerful...

by comparison, the Cosa Nostra

will seem like the Vienna Boys Choir.

- Here is the list.

- But half of these men are in prison.

- We'll get them out.

- Impossible.

I'll bet you 20 million francs

it isn't.

- Where would I get 20 million francs?

- I thought you'd ask that.

Step number three: Next Thursday

at precisely 2:
00 p.m...

you and six men will enter the main

branch of the Paris credit bank.

This afternoon, at approximately

five minutes to 5:00...

three men dressed in building

maintenance uniforms...

entered and robbed

the Paris credit bank.

The leader has been identified

as Jean Tournier.

How much did they get?

Millions. Here's the report.

All right. That will be all,

Francois. Thank you.

Twenty million francs.

And now, the next step.

Hugo Fassbender and his daughter

have been kidnapped.

- Professor Fassbender?

- Yes. Paris has a theory.

They're sending over their top man...

a Chief lnspector Clouseau.

He just sent this telegram. "Arrived

Gatwick Airport, B.R. 121, 12:38 p.m."

Yes? Who are you?

- Jarvis, sir.

- And what is it you do?

- I am the butler.

- Ah, the butler. Yes, yes.

Can you tell me where you were

on the night of the kidnapping?

- Asleep in my room, sir.

- Asleep in your room.

- Can you prove that?

- No.

Make a note of that,

Sergeant Yard.

Tell the staff to assemble

in the drawing room.

I will interview them

in a few moments.

Yes, sir.

- What was your name again?

- Jarvis.

Jarvis, that's right. Perhaps you'll be

kind enough to show me around the house.

Very good, sir.

I suggest we start

with the upstairs.

- This is the upstairs, sir.

- Yes, I know that.

This is a door.

Yes, that is a door.

- Yes, I know that.

- It's not locked, sir.

Obviously.

Stay where you are.

I prefer to handle this alone.

Is there anybody hiding there

in the dark?

Nothing like a good warm-up

when you're on a case, you know?

Tell me, which switch did you use

to turn on the lights?

The light switch, sir.

Strange. It didn't work for me.

Yes.

Unless I miss my guess,

this would be the gymnasium room.

- Yes, sir.

- Yes. It is a good room.

Yes.

This reminds me of my younger days

at the Surete police academy.

The parallel bars... my speciality.

I was something of an athlete,

you know. Yes, yes.

I was known as the Pavlova

of the parallels.

Oh, yes.

Yes, it's all coming back now.

Yes, I remember it...

Well, that felt good!

Well, now. I expect you're all wondering

why I asked you here.

It's obvious that the knight

that wore that suit...

did not last very long.

Yes, yes. I know.

Now.

Yes. As I was saying...

You were saying you supposed

we were all wondering why you called us.

Look. There is no need for you to speak

unless I ask you a question.

- What is your name?

- I'm Shork, the gardener.

- And what is it you do?

- I'm the gardener.

Why didn't you say that

in the first place?

- I did.

- Don't be funny with me, monsieur.

This is a very serious matter...

and everyone in this room

is under the suspicions.

- "Reum"?

- What? What was that?

- You said, "Reum."

- Yes, I know that.

And there is a very good chance

that someone in this room...

knows more about the murder

than he is telling.

- Murder?

- What was that you said?

- I said murder.

- What murder?

Well, I don't know.

You said murder.

I said murder?

You said murder!

No, I said murder

because you said murder!

- I said murder?

- You said someone in this room...

knows more about the murder

than he's telling.

Now listen...

- What was your name?

- Shork.

- The cook.

- Gardener.

Now we are getting somewhere.

You...

Oh, dear!

Are you all right,

Mr. Stutterstutt?

- Who is this man?

- He's Mr. Stutterstutt.

I see, and what is your job,

Mr. Stuckerstuff?

He's the beekeeper.

I'm not asking you.

I'm asking Mr. Stuffsucker.

What's that? What is he saying to you?

What? What was that?

He says he's got a bit of a cold,

and he's lost his voice.

Lost his voice. A beekeeper

who has lost his voice...

a cook who thinks he's a gardener...

and a witness to a murder.

Oh, yes. It is obvious

to my trained eye...

that there is much more

going on here...

than meets the ear.

Before you are dismissed,

Mr. Stiffsticker...

I suggest you count your bees.

You may find that one of them

is missing.

You ruined that piano!

What is the price of one piano...

compared to the terrible crime

that has been committed here?

But that's a priceless Steinway!

Not anymore. What is your name?

Mrs. Leverlilly.

Mrs. Loveliver.

I would take a shrewd guess...

that you are the housekeeper,

right?

I have been with Professor Fassbender

for 30 years.

That would account

for your exaggerated hysteria...

over a simple blemish

on the furniture.

Blemish!

Whatever has happened to the piano

can easily be repaired.

What has happened

to Professor Fassbender...

and his daughter

is another matter.

And it is my job to bring the guilty

party, or parties, to their justice.

Now, then, what do we know?

One:
That Professor Fassbender...

and his daughter

have been kidnapped.

Two:
Someone has kidnapped them.

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