The Pirate Page #7

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is the devil incarnate.

He'll strike like a cobra

when he realizes he's cornered.

All right.

Surround him, men.

- Manuela. Are you all right?

- Yes.

What have you done to her?

Excellency, this is a joke, a silly joke.

Just a silly joke. This man knew

that I had an admiration for Macoco.

He pretended. That's all.

You've been through

a terrible experience.

But you have nothing to fear now.

Your magnificent courage has earned

the gratitude of the entire island.

It's due to you that this felon

has been apprehended.

Captain.

See the seorita escorted safely

to her home.

No, l...

Bring the prisoner here.

Well, sir. At last.

I can't tell you what pleasure it gives me

to meet you, under these conditions.

Excellency.

I must say, Macoco,

you're very satisfying.

The other members of your profession,

whom I've met...

...have looked more like bookkeepers

than pirates.

But you.

You fill the eye.

Thank you. But I regret

to disillusion you, Excellency.

I have been sailing under false colors.

I am not Macoco.

My name is Serafin and I'm an actor.

Here are my papers.

I warned you he'd do this,

don't believe him.

Must I remind you I'm perfectly capable

of handling this without any assistance?

Sorry.

Did you really expect to fool me

with a forged passport?

This means that some poor wretch

named Serafin is lying in a ditch...

...somewhere

with a dagger in his throat.

Don Pedro, do you think it wise

to go this far?

I'm here to see that you hang.

No doubt about that.

But His Excellency would never

hang a man without evidence.

Certainly not.

Hey, wait a minute. What are you

doing with that? This is my prop box.

I never allow anyone to touch this.

It holds all my professional secrets.

Macoco, in the name of His Majesty

I hereby charge you...

...with the murder of thousands

of his subjects.

With theft, arson, et cetera, et cetera.

Put him in irons and issue orders

to erect a gallows at once.

We'll forego the formality of a trial.

Don't take your eyes off him,

not for a minute. And don't let him talk.

No, above all, don't let me talk.

Let the execution begin.

- Aunt Inez, let me through.

- You are behaving...

Please, Aunt Inez. Let me through.

I've go to stop this. Stop. Stop!

Your Excellency.

I beg you not to go on with this.

- I implore you, don't...

- Seorita. You must calm...

- Manuela.

- People. Listen, please.

A few hours ago you thanked me

for saving your lives.

You told me you'd be grateful forever.

Well, now I have one favor

to ask of you in return.

I beg you to stop this hanging.

This man is not a pirate.

He's only a strolling player, an actor.

He's so good an actor

that you believed him...

Proceed with the execution.

Excellency.

- May I speak?

- No. No. Go on with the hanging.

Oh, I'm sorry. Should I have addressed

myself to the mayor?

I had thought His Excellency,

the viceroy, was in command here.

And so I am.

You may have your say.

Excellency, thank you.

I wish to express my gratitude

to the seorita...

...but she is wasting her sympathies.

I agree with Don Pedro.

Macoco should hang.

You're right.

For once you're telling the truth.

Well, why are we waiting?

Get on with the hanging.

I shall try not to disappoint you.

Your Excellency,

fate has been most kind to me.

In my last moments it has granted me

the privilege of meeting, face to face...

...one of the great figures of our time.

Fate hasn't been unkind to me.

It's always useful, politically, you know,

to capture an important criminal.

I am only too happy, Excellency,

to further your career.

And I to put an end to yours.

I believe a condemned man

has a right to one last request.

Well, within reason, a visit

from a loved one, a prayer, a beefsteak.

I have only one burning desire.

Let me give a performance, one

last performance for Your Excellency.

Oh, that's impossible.

If you escaped, I should have

to consider myself a fool.

And I don't care to undervalue myself.

Excellency, I have played

before the king of Spain...

...the khedive of Egypt,

the bey of Tunis.

I should like, before I die, to play

before Your Excellency.

But you must see

it would be very irregular.

Excellency...

...you are a man of culture,

a man of imagination.

When a royal banquet

is spread before you...

...you do not pounce upon it

like any peasant.

This is a great moment

we have before us.

A moment in history.

Let's not rush at it.

Let's savor it to the full.

I never heard of such impudence,

such an outrage.

Hang him. Hang him at once.

You there, soldiers, go on, take him.

Do you hear me?

Go on with the hanging.

Just a minute, Don Pedro.

Your Excellency, you don't know

this man.

He's diabolically clever.

He's trying to trick you,

make a fool of you.

Excellency, I await your permission.

No. No.

I'm mayor here and I forbid it.

Do you hear me? I forbid it.

He hangs. He hangs this minute.

Go on, hang him.

You may be mayor of this little village,

but I am viceroy.

You may give your show.

Excellency.

Stand back, men. Give the impresario

a little room.

There's something rather perverse

about all this.

I shall feel like a Roman emperor

of the Decadence. Rather agreeable.

It will be a pleasure to be executed

by a man of such charm.

Fellow artists.

Overture. Prepare the proscenium.

Unmask this funereal garb

and don the bright colors of Vespus.

On with your costume, Trillo.

- Trillo, strike up the music.

- What number will it be, captain?

Our gayest and our best

to please our honored guest.

Get the mirror ready.

The mirror. I'm going to release

Don Pedro's spirit from its earthly bond.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, honored

guest, in behalf of my little troupe...

...may I hope that you enjoy

our farewell performance.

Of course, this is not my first

farewell performance...

...but I think we can trust

our honored guest to make it my last.

Usually, for our opening

I perform a rope trick...

...but tonight, under the circumstances,

I will skip the rope.

Instead,

I and my two brilliant colleagues...

...in the art of terpsichore

will entertain you.

But first, if you will allow me,

I shall get away from this noose.

As me mother used to say,

"No noose is good noose."

I'll remember forever

When I was but 3

Mama, who was clever

Remarking to me

Son, when you've grown up

And you want everything nice

I've got your future sewn up

If you'll take this advice

Be a clown, be a clown

All the world loves a clown

Act the fool, play the calf

And you'll always have the last laugh

Wear the cap and the bells

And you'll rate with all the great swells

If you become a doctor,

Folks 'll face you with dread

If you become a dentist

They'll be glad when you're dead

You'll get a bigger hand

If you can stand on your head

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown

Oh, bravo. Bravo.

Thank you. Thank you.

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