The Poker House Page #3

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Well, if that's rich livin',

I don't want no part of it.

Looks like your master

plan's workin' out there!

Now, why you want me to cut

you so goddamn bad, huh?

With what, them little lady

tweezers you got there?

Lady tweezers?

That's what the hell I got...

Shut up, you ugly ape!

Uh, good morning, Mr. Goldstein.

Morning, Popeye.

What time is it?

Time to go to work.

Sure is!

Like a whole lot of...

Hey! No cuts!

Ladies first,

huh?

You know you're just a

girl underneath all that.

Shut your ass up.

You a little boy.

Okay, so that's, uh...

- One dollar and 50 cents.

- One dollar and 50 cents. Very good.

Okay.

Aw, damn, baby girl.

Come on. Hurry up, now.

She can take her time.

So, that do it then, Bee?

- Yeah, I think so.

All right.

Thank you very much, Bee.

I will see you

in the morning.

Good Lord willing and the creek don't

rise, I'll see you in the morning too.

Uh, okay.

Next.

There you go. Uh-huh.

Popeye.

Molly Pitcher's Muscatel,

baby.

Goldfish

are so delicious.

Only in here though.

Sometimes I'll take 'em home

in my pocket and eat 'em,

but they didn't taste

good like this.

Know why they

call 'em Goldfish?

'Cause long ago boys

in college fraternities,

they'd eat real, live, swimmin'

goldfish with scary eyes...

on a dare...

a double dog dare.

And they'd have to do it, or else

they'd be killed by their teachers.

We can eat Goldfish, too, except they

aren't alive and they're good for ya.

Like some?

That's sweet, little girl,

but I don't eat that sh*t.

It makes the scotch taste funny.

Dolly, ain't you got

no Tony Tiger or Colonel Crunch?

This little girl 'bout to bust a gut

f***in' with these 'plorable things.

I eat the head first.

Why, you ask?

So they don't bite ya.

It's kinda sad though,

leave a pile of tails

and all.

Did you know goldfish

can eat themselves to death?

It's true, it's true!

I wouldn't lie.

If you feed 'em enough,

they'll eat and eat until they explode.

For real!

I'd like to see that, even though

it would be real sad though.

Here.

Two packs of Valiants, lady.

He's a bad boy.

Never called nobody father.

Why bother?

When you left...

you took God with you.

Never met no preacher

who wasn't tryin' to reach her,

sellin' heaven,

takin' your sin...

home with him.

Saw some funny hats though...

when they made the new pope,

giving the sheep hope.

Never called nobody father.

Why bother?

Ain't no reverends.

Anyway, revered ones...

pimpin' the little ones...

who need God to be true.

Ain't no end

to what they'll do.

When you leave,

take God with you.

Agnes, it's not funny!

You scared the sh*t out of me!

I thought you was a car

or something!

That's what you get for hanging out at

this spooky house. It's got spooks in it.

You liked to gave me

a heart attack.

A heart attack?

You're 12, Einstein.

Yeah, but...

people have been

scared to death...

by fear!

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Go on now. The coast is clear.

Ain't nobody up at home.

Cry-baby.

It's not funny, Agnes!

It's not funny at all!

You could've been a truck or a bus

or a tree branch or somethin'!

Well, what are you

waitin' for, a bus?

Go on now.

Not funny. Stop.

I'm sorry.

I love you. Bye.

I love you too.

News flash! I just made Bee poop in her

pants in front of the spooky house.

This is front-page stuff, people.

Get it while it's hot.

- Hi, Agnes!

- Hey, Agnes!

Rowena?

Hi, foxy lady.

Pinkish fuchsia!

Thank you!

You got it.

Hey, Petey! Hey, Bob!

Spell it backwards. Spell it forward!

It spells the same thing... Bob!

Mr. Jefferies, a legend in his own behind.

I'm fine, just fine.

Nice suit. You look

just like a Milk Dud.

Well,

thank you, honey!

What are you doing here,

Mr. Jefferies?

I've told you a thousand times.

You're a hundred. Go home.

What are you, nuts?

They need me here.

I'm the only one that knows stuff.

Give me that.

Why do you think they

call me Mr. Everything?

That's right. 'Cause I've

done every job in this room.

Go ahead. Ask me somethin'.

I'll ask you somethin'.

Well, go ahead then. Shoot.

Okay.

Where's the man?

Bingo!

He's at Command Central.

He's looking for Japs.

Thanks, Mr. Jefferies.

Anytime, kiddo.

All right,

let's have it.

Hold your horses.

Gee.

"A." "A"...

It's all A's.

I guess we'll

have to keep you.

Ah, you can keep it.

I'll make more.

My dear wife reminded me

this morning...

that you haven't been

by the house lately.

Do you require a written invitation

to come back by for dinner?

I guess

I've been busy.

I could come by the house,

pick you up one Saturday night.

Wouldn't want to interfere with your

studies during the week, you know.

Well, I got basketball

and chores and stuff.

How are you faring with the Rimbaud?

I like him.

I like that

e. e. cummings guy too.

We got the same birthday.

Rimbaud's dead.

Yes.

Yes, he is.

And he was a homo.

Is there anything else

I can assist you with?

Yeah. It's payday.

Pay me!

Right you are.

Payday it is.

Go see Rowena

in Accounting.

You mean that desk

right there?

Oh, protocol, Agnes.

Protocol!

Without rules of behavior,

the world's a...

Yeah, this place

is crawling with anarchists.

You have been reading.

That's very good.

Oh, pay the girl.

Criminies!

Excuse me.

Is this Accounting?

I guess!

Could I have my paycheck?

Yeah.

Got that.

Thank you.

Okay.

Right here. See, I got to have this.

Dizzy.

Watch my bike.

Jesus Christ! I said one more time,

and that was one more time!

Hey, Pookie.

Tell Rondell I'm here

to get my check.

Y'all better quit!

I ain't playin' with you.

Rondell,

Agnes need her check.

How's the baby?

Fine, I guess.

What's her name again?

I call her Tamika.

She call her Shandra.

Ah, Pookie. You gonna be all right?

I'll be fine, I guess.

I swear for God!

Hey!

Hey! Come on!

Get away from him.

Stop jabbin' with him.

Hey, Agnes.

You wanna work tonight?

Semifinals.

I got a game tonight.

The most important game of my career.

Well, if you change

your mind, let me know.

That's it!

I'm writin' you all up!

Told you that?

Yeah, right here.

Give me my bike.

Damn!

Got you, man.

She's crazy, man.

I got a 427 under there.

You ain't got no 427.

That's a 287, man.

I'll tell you right now. It's a 287.

Then Alice became convinced...

that the baby

Julia's carrying... is mine.

How can it be his brother's

baby when Eden loves Dax?

She told Julia and me she

didn't ever want to see us again.

Don't this little

girl live in the Poker House?

Little girl, don't you

live in the Poker House?

Stymie, it's lunchtime. Leave her alone.

You know that's her favorite story.

Lunchtime? I'm gonna

tell you what time it is!

Time for you to fix me another drink!

That's what time it is!

Soothing even the worst parting.

How can you have a baby

by one person...

when someone else

loves ya?

Baby, those TV people

ain't real.

Go on and eat now.

And something else.

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