The Pope of Greenwich Village Page #3

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was spent cleaning up bird sh*t, it was.

Hey, Vinnie,

tell your old man to listen.

Cousin Paulie's got something cooking.

He's gonna thank me for getting us out

of that sentence

we were serving at Sal's.

- Hey, I wanna find my own job alone.

- Job?

Job? Who's talking about a job?

I'm talking about a move, man.

I'll pass.

How can he pass on something

he don't even hear, Vinnie?

I don't know.

This is a score, man. Nice and easy.

And the guy I'm in with is a pro,

Charlie. An absolute pro, man.

Yeah? Well, you're an amateur, like me.

We're not professional thieves, Paulie.

Where you been?

I'm waiting a God damn an hour.

- I gotta go shopping.

- Cooky, don't bust my balls, all right?

Come on, honey.

- Jesus Christ.

- Hey, Dad.

- Oh, wonderful, wonderful.

- Come on, honey.

She'll have you paying taxes

if you're not careful, man.

They're all the same.

They like you to think small, you know?

Paulie, a couple of weeks out of work,

you're gonna start thinking small, too.

Tips, pay, plus what you robbed,

you were bringing home 600 a week.

Where you gonna find that, huh?

Where you gonna find that, huh?

You take a girl out, you drop 100 bucks.

Hey, more than 100, Charlie.

I mean, I like to look good, you know?

Lobsters, some wine,

a couple of sambucas, you know?

When I drop 100 on my night off,

I figure I got away cheap,

you know, like I robbed 50.

Soon money ain't gonna be

no problem, Charlie.

- I got something big going for me, man.

- Oh, yeah? What?

I own a piece of a thoroughbred.

- A what?

- A thoroughbred.

A f***ing racehorse, Charlie.

I'm in with Tommy Botondo

and Jimmy the Cheese Man.

Five thou apiece we went for.

- Where did you get 5,000?

- I went on the street for it.

- On the street?

- Yeah.

- What are you, stunat?

- Hey, man, we got a score set up.

If you would listen,

money ain't gonna be no problem.

Paulie, what do you or Jimmy

the Cheese Man know about horses?

I don't have to know nothing

in this deal.

I got in on a swindle with this horse.

This horse's father won

the Belmont Stakes, man.

Any horse wins the Belmont Stakes,

the yearlings go for maybe 600 big ones.

That's exactly it.

We got her for 15 grand, man.

It was like shoplifting,

buying this horse.

Have you ever heard

of artificial inspiration?

It don't just work with people, Charlie.

See, horses can have babies

by artificial inspiration, too, man.

Like, let's say you got

a couple of horses

worth... a million dollars apiece.

You don't wanna set 'em loose

in some field to screw.

I mean, how many times you yourself

pull a muscle or something screwing?

And these great big stallions,

man, they get horny,

they could easily kick

the mother horse in the head.

- Ba-boom. You're out a million dollars.

- So what's the point?

- Point?

- Yeah, what's the point?

Jimmy the Cheese Man got in

with the groom of this champion horse.

We got some of this champion's jism.

The groom jerked the horse off.

He beat his meat right in the stable.

Well, my horse's mother got some of it.

You bet horses.

You know what that means.

Her first race, Starry Hope

goes off at big, big odds, man.

Her papers say her father

was some no-dick piece of garbage,

but she got the champion gene, Charlie.

- Champion gene?

- Yeah.

Horses ain't like people, man.

They can't make themselves better

than they're born.

See, with a horse, it's all in the gene.

It's the f***ing gene

that does the running.

The horse got absolutely nothing

to do with it.

Let me ask you something.

I mean, how the hell are you

gonna make your Shylock payments?

- Now, especially?

- Exactly like I told you, man.

With the nicest,

easiest score you ever heard of.

Charlie, at least meet the guy, okay?

You got nothing to lose

by looking it over.

There's a real deadline on this,

Charlucc'.

Starry Hope runs in a couple of weeks,

and I need big bucks to bet with, man.

There's real money to be made

on that race, you know?

You know, you ought to get a permit.

A permit? For what?

To sh*t in the street.

You look like a horse.

Paulie,

are you sure this guy is all right?

That's Barney.

What are you doing?

I fix clocks here in the Bronx.

Antique dealers downtown feed me work.

Chimes, mostly.

You can make a good living in this city

doing nothing but chimes.

Chimes, man.

Yeah, chimes. I get it.

Can you still open safes?

Some.

The kind we'll run into

on this job I can get into.

Yeah? What kind can't you get into?

- What kind?

- Yeah.

Banks. Big jewelry houses.

Anything wired up to Holmes.

I'm not a big-time safecracker.

I'm a hotshot locksmith.

People got a half million to protect,

they buy the kind of box

I don't know how to get into.

- Are you sure about opening this one?

- If it ain't wired, I can get into it.

- Your buddy boy says it ain't wired.

- Guaranteed. I seen it, man.

You done any time, Barney?

Goes back to '47.

I did a pound at Green Haven.

Hey, what the f*** is this, huh?

What the f*** is this?

We giving lifetime references here?

I did five years in the joint.

Five years. End of story, huh?

'47, Charlie.

Either of you guys have

an automobile out there?

- Yeah.

- Better hurry.

The summons man is blitzing the street

with his little fleet of tow trucks.

Tow trucks! Sh*t!

He's the only police officer in this

city that sets the hook himself.

Hey! It's my car. It's my car.

- Hey, I'll move it, Officer.

- Lift her.

Hey! That ain't right,

and you know it, man!

Hey, Officer, I get here before you

hook me, you're supposed to let me go.

I still gotta take a ticket,

but you're not supposed to tow me.

Take it away!

Cocksucker.

That rat bastard

was supposed to let me go.

He doesn't let anyone go.

He hooked Monsignor Ryan's

Coupe de Ville last Saturday

while the Monsignor was in saying

the 8:
00 mass.

The man is possessed.

He should die of hemorrhoids.

It's gonna cost you $100 for the tow,

plus $25 for the ticket.

And that fat bastard comes in here

every afternoon like clockwork

to piss in my toilet

and drink my whisky free.

He knows there's two

first-class locks on that building.

Take me an hour to go through them.

The other one,

I go through with a toothpick.

Crossing that alley to the other roof

is a piece of cake.

We go inside, I open the safe

and we find peanuts in there,

I'm gonna want your ass, Paulie.

Charlie, this is A1,

guaran-f***ing-teed, man.

Go ahead and sleep on it.

Paulie, before I go to sleep on it,

just how sure are you of the 50 thou?

They deliver to some kind

of small chemical plant, COD.

Payment in green.

And there's 15 trucks out there.

- And it all goes in the safe?

- Every penny.

They get back too late for the banks.

Friday's receipts sit over the weekend.

Charlie, we've been through this

again and again.

What is he, stunat'?

What do you mean?

He's like a wackadoo.

Noodles and an egg roll. How much?

Hey, what's the matter with you, Barney?

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