The Pretty One Page #5

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- No, no, not really.

It sounds terrible, I'm sorry. I...

Basel.

Basel.

We need to get some ice cream.

Ice cream is not gonna fix this.

Mrs. Brown, ice cream

fixes everything.

Yeah, it's gonna get me a job?

Yes.

Here, would you hold this?

You can even have some.

This is gonna cheer you up.

Well, Mrs. Brown, I got something

I've been wanting to give you.

As you know, we are a happily married

couple with two lovely kids.

But I want more.

I wanna renew our vows, dear.

Okay.

You don't believe me, all right.

So the thing I got you, Mrs. Brown,

is a very expensive ring.

What are you doing?

Will you marry me again and make me

the happiest man in the whole world?

You are very cute but you

have terrible timing.

Well, that's a weird no.

For real...

I love you now.

And I've loved you since the first

moment that I met you, Audrey.

- Take it back.

- I thought you'd have a different reaction.

- Take that part back.

- Take what back?

The part about loving

me since you met me.

What difference does it make?

It's a nice thing to say.

I need this to be

mine, to be my love.

It is yours. I don't care if you

didn't love me when we first met.

But if you loved me back then, it

means you don't actually love me.

Well, I don't think

that's true, Audrey.

I'm not Audrey.

- Because you're Mrs. Brown?

- No, I'm not Mrs. Brown.

And I'm not Audrey.

I don't get what game

we're playing right now.

I'm Laurel.

I'm her twin.

What does that mean?

Audrey died, we're twins.

- Audrey died.

- Are you...?

- Are you being serious?

- Yes.

So you died, or your sister died in

the car accident, and you came back?

They got confused in the hospital.

They thought I was Audrey but I'm not.

And I didn't remember at first.

- If this is a joke, it's...

- It's not a joke.

You lied this whole time?

You pretended

to be your dead sister?

I'm the same person. I just

have a different name.

Who does that?

I trusted you.

- I asked if it was real and you said yeah.

- It is real.

It's all bullshit.

I'm so sorry. I just...

Hi.

- The wedding's not till next week, honey.

- I know.

Can I come in?

Come in, come in.

I came here because I need

to tell you something.

Okay.

You guys...

were wrong.

At the hospital, you were wrong.

Wrong about what?

Who I am.

Audrey is the one who died.

What?

Porcupine?

Oh, my God.

But, you...

I mean...

But...

your hair...

- I mean, we all thought...

- You poor child.

When did you finally remember?

The morning of the funeral.

You went to your own funeral?

On purpose?

Is this funny to you?

No, no, it's not funny to me.

No, Daddy.

Dad.

Dad.

Daddy.

Frank.

Frank, do something.

- Do something.

- I can't find my f***ing cerulean.

I'm sorry, Dad.

No, stop it.

There is no excuse.

This is beyond...

No, but, Dad, no one

cared that I was gone.

How can you say that?

You were my porcupine.

- We did everything together.

- I know.

But, Daddy, you didn't even have

anything to say at the funeral.

I was in shock, you know?

Just lost my baby girl.

Excuse me if I wasn't Shakespeare.

I just...

I just needed to know that...

That you loved me.

We're gonna have to

have another funeral.

- What are people gonna say?

- I don't give a hot damn what they say!

Don't get snippy with me!

I'm not the one who lied.

Can I just have a minute?

- Can you two just give me a moment?

- Well, I never!

Daddy?

Daddy.

- I'll do that.

- I got it.

But I always do the dishes.

Well, I've been doing them since

you left, so it's about time.

Okay.

What can I do to make

you stop hating me?

I don't know when I'm gonna find it in

my heart to forgive you on this, porc.

I mean...

I'm glad you're back and all...

but here I am mourning the

death of another child.

And I'll be goddamned if it's

not confusing as all hell.

I understand.

I don't think you do.

But I want to.

I want to know.

If there's anything I took

away from your being dead...

it's that I wished you'd have

stopped worrying about me...

and gotten on with your life.

You need to start worrying about

what you're dealing with.

Would anyone like to say a

few parting words to Audrey?

Well...

this is a certifiably weird place

I've put everyone in, huh?

Nothing I say really matters.

You still think

there's something wrong with me...

and you would be right.

So...

I'll just say this.

Audrey...

Audrey was...

everything to me.

She was the much bigger

half of our whole.

And I couldn't let her go.

Hey, guys.

- Hi, Laurel.

- Hey.

Thank you for coming.

Do you wanna give me

the official tour?

A tour?

Sure.

This is the living

room with furniture.

Okay, come with me.

So are you staying here?

No.

It's not exactly an abode

for a grown woman.

Well said, Captain Obvious.

I was just saying.

I thought I was going crazy back

there, but I knew it wasn't her.

I know you did.

You more than anyone.

You must have really loved her.

I wanted to be just like her.

But I'm not.

I guess we have more in

common than we thought.

I'm gonna go back to the city...

and I think it's best we remain friends

despite our past disagreements.

Yeah, I agree.

Good.

Good technique.

Beautiful palette.

You got more of these?

You should show them.

Yeah, I was thinking about

taking them around.

It's about time you

did your own work.

So...

you probably figured

this out already...

but I'm in love.

I know, I know we

disagree on this...

but I actually think

he smells really good.

He smells real.

You know...

like sweat and life...

and sex.

I feel like myself around him.

And I'm making you a promise.

Right now...

I'm going to do what

you wanted me to do.

I'm going to be more like me.

Find out what that really means.

What do you want?

You.

I want you, please.

May I please have you?

Well, you know what?

F*** you if you think

I'm that easy.

I know you're not that easy.

- Little cowboy coming up.

- Hey, kids, what's up?

- Trick or treat!

- Trick or treat!

All right, get in there, guys.

Guys, plenty of sweets right here.

It's candy.

- You're early this year.

- Happy Halloween.

- Happy Halloween.

- Happy Halloween.

So, what are you dressed as?

Myself.

- So that's what Laurel looks like?

- Yeah, this is what I look like.

I told everyone at home about

the whole identity thing.

Wow, how'd that go?

I'm still alive.

Well, you seem to be, but you

never know with the two of you.

I miss you.

I miss you terribly.

I know you feel like

you don't know me...

but I'm telling you, you do.

I'm just asking you to take

a chance on that person.

I know I really messed up.

I know I am f***ed up.

But despite all that, I...

All in all, I am...

like, a pretty cool girl.

Well, nice work on

complimenting yourself.

Thank you.

Also, I really think you should

know this cast comes off tomorrow.

You've never seen

this forearm before.

It's probably atrophied and will never

be as muscular as the other one.

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