The Prince & Me II: The Royal Wedding Page #3

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- Good morning, miss.

Would you care for some breakfast?

I spent the last two hours

looking like an incompetent idiot

because my lab partner

didn't show up.

- Was that this morning?

- Yes!

You know, I know exactly

who you are.

- You do?

- You do?

You're a spoiled, little rich kid

who sees college as a detour

on the way to an easy life.

No character.

No accomplishments.

- Just a royal pain in the ass.

- You're completely wrong.

See, unlike people who are given

everything, I have to earn what I get.

But that is the beauty

of a meritocracy.

People rise and fall

based on how hard they work.

Would you like some

more hollandaise?

- No, that's good. Thank you.

- You're making eggs Benedict?

- On a hot plate in a dorm room?

- Yes, just a typical student breakfast.

Would you care to join us?

No, thank you.

- So where's your statue?

- What statue?

Someone as righteous as you

must have

a statue of themselves

somewhere.

There's a difference between

being righteous and being right.

I happen to be right. Could you

please put a shirt on or something?

If you're going to be a doctor,

you'll have to get used to naked men.

Dude! Dude, there's a chick

in our room.

- Just drop the class.

- No.

Well, then you better be there,

and you better be prepared.

She really meant those things,

didn't she?

Yes, she did seem rather upset, sir.

Though, regardless,

I don't see why you would care.

Do enjoy the eggs, sir. They were

purchased with the last of your money.

- We have some left, don't we?

- What you came with is gone.

Well, you're getting some

sort of paycheck, aren't you?

Hey, you cheap Swede.

"Skills:
polo, fencing, speak French,

English, German, Dutch,

"Danish and Flemish".

Flemish? Is there

a country called Flem?

Look, that's all great,

but it doesn't mean crap to me.

I need somebody with work

experience, and you don't have any.

I really could do

with the employment.

There are a lot of students

who wanna work here.

Well, I have the highest

recommendation.

- Hey, Paige.

- Hi.

Are you deliberately trying

to make me miserable?

No, I'm simply manning

the delicatessen in the event

that one of my fellow students

wants a tasty sandwich.

- Stu, did you hire this guy?

- Yeah. He came highly recommended.

- By whom?

- You.

- What would you like?

- A turkey sandwich.

Paige, I'm busy. Eddie's your boy.

You're in charge of him.

All right, it seems we're completely

out of turkey today.

Dude, there's like ten turkey

things in there.

Is this some sort of test?

Did Johns Hopkins send you to see

if I can handle pressure?

- Because I'm starting to crack.

- Well, who's in charge of carving?

- Use the slicer.

- What's that?

You used me as a reference.

Yes. Look, you were

the only one I knew.

Despite what you think,

I do need this job. I have no money.

But you have a personal egg poacher.

No, no. He's just another student.

Really? What's he studying?

How to be a 30-year-old junior?

Try the "on" button.

Look, Paige. You were right

about my parents back in Denmark.

They are from a certain wealth.

But I've cut myself off from them.

Dude.

Yes, just one minute.

Listen, Paige. I realize I've taken

advantage of you recently, and...

But just give me a chance today, and

if I cause any problems, then I'll quit.

OK. Your right hand

goes on the handle.

Slowly slide the meat

back and forth.

And unless you want

a turkey-thumb sandwich,

don't put your hand near

the blade when it's moving, OK?

Right.

OK.

- Slowly, slowly.

- Right.

Right.

OK, nice and smooth.

That's enough.

- Here, Paige, it's your turn tonight.

- OK.

Hey, kid.

I need you to go outside

and hose down the mats.

Are you sure you don't

want a hand, sir?

- No, I'm fine.

- Good night.

Hey.

You did OK in there.

- You can't be serious, can you?

- Well, by "OK", I mean

spilling a ton of beer

and screwing up everyone's order.

- Yeah.

- No, you'll be fine.

You know, this Saturday evening,

there's a dorm party at Brenner Hall.

A gathering.

I was wondering if you would like

to accompany me.

Accompany you?

Oh, right, yes.

How do you say it colloquially?

Yo, dog, there's a mad party

kicking at my crib,

if you want to roll

down there with me.

That was just sad.

Don't ever do that again.

Yes, I really hurt my finger.

So would you like to come?

I...

I'm actually kind of busy.

Oh, dear.

- What?

- I believe you just got rejected, sir.

You know, I don't think that's ever

happened to me before.

You've never been attracted

to anyone

who didn't know

you were a prince before.

I wouldn't get too worked up

over it, sir.

The chances of a relationship

between yourself and Miss Paige

are not promising.

You two are of

a completely different caliber.

Soren, just because she isn't royalty

doesn't mean she's not important.

The higher caliber

I was referring to, sir,

was hers.

What?

Miss.

You really must get some rest,

Your Majesty.

I'm relieved there wasn't

more to it than this.

- There'll be more of these tests, yes?

- I can't say for sure.

- There'll be several tests?

- There might be.

- Will this take many days?

- No, I'm pretty sure

- we can get them out of the way.

- Thank you, doctor.

I don't think you need to go to this.

- I promised I'd go.

- Are you feeling ill, Daddy?

There's nothing to worry about,

my darling.

Yes, Arabella.

You shouldn't worry.

Just a little flu.

Excuse me, ma'am.

It's time for His Majesty to be going.

Sweetie.

So, what would you like to do today?

- Horse riding.

- Good idea.

Duty calls.

Sh*t.

Positive for ketone.

Mr. Williams, please do something.

So you know the other day

when you quoted Romeo and Juliet?

- Yes.

- Well, it's funny

because I'm actually taking

a Shakespeare class myself and...

I'm not struggling,

I'm actually being graded unfairly.

But I was wondering,

since you seem to be...

Well-versed.

Yeah. Well, I was hoping

maybe you could...

Help you.

- No, I don't need help.

- Oh, OK.

Just sounded like you were

asking me for help, that's all.

Forget it.

Yeah, OK, I need help.

Yes, I'll help you.

It's not a problem.

Only...

I'm going to need some

help of my own first.

Pour the bleach like this:

And do not spill.

I bet you can't believe

I've never done laundry, can you?

Yeah, it's a real leap.

Cold.

Warm.

Cold, cold.

It's just so confusing. I mean, how do

you know what goes in which pile?

It's a gift. I guess you could

say I'm the Rain Man of laundry.

OK, now it's my turn.

We did King Lear,

and now we're on the Sonnets.

Next, it's Hamlet, which is about

a whiny prince from Denmark.

- What does that have to do with reality?

- More than you think.

Well, you're from Denmark,

do you even have princes?

Yes, I think we do.

Well, Beth read it, and she said

he's a total loser.

Well, you can tell Beth that the prince

was young and scared,

and he didn't feel ready for

the hard choices he had to make.

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