The Prince and the Showgirl Page #3

My real name is Elsie Stolzenburg.

Indeed?

I decided to change it when

I decided to stay in England.

You see, the company I came

over with from the States. . .

-. . .they got stranded in York.

-In the Strand, really?

Let's all go down the Strand

Have a banana

Most amusing!

You like caviar, I hope?

Oh, yes.

I ordered a cold supper so we can serve

ourselves. That's so much more fun.

Yes, much more fun.

-That is a charming dress.

-Well, it's very old, I'm afraid.

You like vodka?

I've never tried it. I don't think--

But you must.

This is very special.

Cheerio.

Oh, no, no. Not to sip like that.

You'll make yourself,

as you say, tiddly.

Like this, and then it has

no dangerous effect.

No more, please.

One more will not hurt a fly.

Maybe, but you know what they say:

Drunk as a fly.

That is really quite excellent.

I can see you have

a witty little tongue.

I have?

Hurt a fly, drunk as a fly.

I must remember that.

I really shouldn't bother

Your Grand Ducal--

Cheerio.

What is the matter?

That time I burnt

my witty little tongue.

That is very sad.

I'm quite delighted you're here,

Miss Marina.

-I hope you are too.

-Enraptured.

Now, will you sit here?

-Champagne?

-Yes.

There. Now we are to ourselves.

Good. You will forgive me

if I don't join you for the minute.

I've already had dinner, and I have

some business to attend to.

It turned quite warm all of a sudden,

hasn't it?

I wasn't addressed.

Give me the ambassador.

Very well, then wake him.

Oh, ambassador, you were asleep?

How sad.

I had an interview

with the foreign secretary.

It concerned my having ordered

the arrest of Wolfstein.

Sir Edward is disturbed

that we have not been able. . .

. . .to think of a charge,

which makes it awkward.

Yes, it was careless of me, I admit. . .

. . .but I've been busy all evening.

Yes, yes, you can speak freely.

There is no one here.

Un-Carpathian activities?

Yes, that would be amusing.

What has chiefly disturbed

Sir Edward. . .

. . .is the fact that these

stupid Americans have protested.

Some nonsense about political freedom

and democratic rights.

You know what children Americans are

in matters of this kind.

Their diplomacy makes me think

of the Minotaur legend reversed.

The bull chasing Theseus

through the labyrinth.

A steam traction engine

in Hampton Court maze!

Excellent! What?

The British will be more sensible.

They'll wait until after the trial

and then protest.

But when will these crazy Americans

grow up?

Yes, we will talk tomorrow.

Good night.

Well, well, and how is everything?

Just dandy.

I see you have already served yourself.

How remiss of me.

Oh, I prefer it this way.

Splendid. Well, cheerio.

Mud in your eye.

What a priceless expression!

Where did you learn it?

-In America.

-Have you been there?

-I was born there. I am American.

-Are you, indeed?

Yes, Your Grand Ducal,

that's just what I am.

I must make another telephone call.

It's quite all right.

I just adore my own company.

Connect me with the French ambassador.

He's still be at the reception?

I'll try later.

To President Taft.

I said, to President Taft.

To President Taft.

So I wasn't addressed. Who cares?

The bull in the labyrinth.

Who the heck's Theseus anyway?

Protest? I should darn well think

they would protest.

Arresting people that way.

Disgraceful.

Oh, Miss Marina, won't you have

some champagne?

I don't know, Your Grand Ducal.

You really think I ought?

Well, maybe just a sip.

Maybe just a teeny. . . .

You said something?

Oh, no. Just playing a little game

over here all by myself.

Good. Cheerio.

Down the hatch.

Why was I not informed

of Wolfstein's arrest?

Why was I left to learn it

from the papers?

There was no need to inform you.

No need to inform the king?!

May I present Miss Elsie Marina.

Good evening. Delightful to meet you.

Won't you sit down?

-By whose orders was he arrested?

-By mine, of course.

He must be released immediately.

You may be a real king very soon,

but for the moment. . .

. . .I'm still the ruler of Carpathia

and of yourself.

Go to your room.

Go to your room at once.

Good night, Miss Marina.

It has been a great pleasure.

Good night, Your Highness.

Majesty.

Colonel Hoffman.

See if the king is in his bedroom

and lock him in.

Also, most important.

Put no calls through to him, inward

or outward, until further notice.

Understood. Will you hold on

a moment, sir?

Her Majesty has just come in

and intends to say good night.

I see. Very well.

The Queen Dowager has returned

from St. James' palace early than expected

and is coming up for a moment.

The Queen Dowager.

The Queen Dowager? That's your mother?

-My mother-in-law.

-That's worse.

You'll want me to hide, won't you?

Where? In there?

Do you have a closet or something?

My dear, I can see

you have a strong sense of the dramatic.

No, just sit there and calm yourself.

Before you meet her, I must warn you,

she is a little vague. . .

. . .and can be very deaf on occasions.

My dear, such boredom.

The decorations hideous,

the music a catastrophe.

Our friend, the ex-king of Moravia,

drove me home.

He is now called the Duke of Strelitz.

He cannot go to the abbey tomorrow.

But he's most anxious

that you invite him. . .

. . .to the room at the Ritz

for Nicky.

Maud?

My dear, give me a glass

of that champagne I see over there.

Might I present Miss Elsie Marina?

Oh, yes, my dear, of course.

I remember you well.

I'm quite sure you don't, Your Royal--

I mean, Your lmperial. . . .

-Your Serene Majesty.

-What did she say?

She says she is deeply flattered

and compliments you on your wonderful memory.

Thank you, my dear.

Sweetly pretty. She should use more mascara.

When one is young,

use a lot of mascara.

And when one is old,

one should use much more.

What do you do, my dear?

I'm in The Coconut Girl

at the Avenue.

- Dear?

- She says she's an actress.

An actress?

That is very interesting.

Madame Sarah Bernhardt

has acted for us.

I do not find her so good in Magda

as Mademoiselle Duse. You agree, no?

No?

You do not agree?

That is very interesting.

You know Lucien Guitry too?

-No, ma'am.

-Only Madame Bernhardt.

Well, you are quite right

to be loyal to your friends, my dear.

Loyalty is a quality

that we do not see enough nowadays.

Trs bien.

Well, I must go to bed.

Which uniform are you wearing tomorrow?

The morning royal guards.

Now, let me see. What color?

Oh, that's all right. We won't clash.

Good night.

Tell my maids I am ready

to go to bed.

Maud, you look very pinched.

What's the matter with you?

I fear I have a slight cold.

Oh, you poor thing,

I am so very very sorry.

I must make you one of my syrups.

So kind of you, ma'am.

The dirty creature, always catching cold!

I really can't think how.

As far as I know, her life is quite blameless.

Anyway, with a face like that.

-Good night, my dear. So delightful.

-Good night, ma'am.

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