The Princess and the Frog Page #7

What about me, Mama?

I want to be human, too,

so I can play jazz with the big boys.

I want fingers and toes

and a bellybutton.

Not the kind that sticks out

but the kind that goes in.

Jabber Jaws, you dig a little deeper,

you'll find everything you need.

Come on, come on, come on.

There's a lot of river

between here and New Orleans.

Y'all best get to swimming.

Wait! I got a better idea.

(WHISTLES)

(HUMMING)

(ALL GASPING)

(MEN CHATTERING)

They got guns!

(EXCLAIMING)

(GASPS)

Man, that is one killer-diller costume!

Hey, gator, can you blow that horn?

Come on. Sit in with us!

We're playing Mardi Gras.

(SIGHS)

(EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY)

We can't miss this! Little Louis

going to finally play with the big boys!

Naveen, you coming?

Oh!

I'll catch up with you later.

Oh, Evangeline. Why can't I just look

Tiana in the eye and say,

"I will do whatever it takes to make

all your dreams come true because...

"Because I love you"?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cap!

You making goo-goo eyes at my girl?

That's it! Put them up! I'm going to

make some shoes out of you!

No, Ray!

I am not in love with Evangeline.

I am in love with Tiana!

Ooh! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

You come here, you.

And I can no longer marry

Miss Charlotte La Bouff.

You're going to be happy together!

I'll find another way

to get Tiana a restaurant.

You're going to have

the cutest little tadpoles!

I will get a job.

Maybe 2. Maybe 3.

I can't wait to tell chre!

No, no, no. I must tell her. Alone.

Right. You rascal!

(BELL CLANGING)

TIANA:

Where you taking me?

I just wanted to show you

a little something

to celebrate our last night together

as frogs.

(GASPS)

Oh!

All my years no one's ever done

anything like this for me.

(LAUGHS)

It is too much, is it not?

Thank you, Beaux.

I thought it was a nice touch.

Pretend you did not see that.

Please, please, sit down.

-What's this?

-Ta-da!

-You minced.

-I did!

You have had

quite an influence on me,

which is amazing because I have dated

thousands of women and...

No, like 2, 3, just other women.

And anyway, listen.

You could not be more different,

you know?

You are practically one of the guys.

No, no, no. You are not a guy.

Let me begin again.

I'm not myself tonight.

Tiana! Sorry, that was loud.

-This is a disaster.

-No. It's cute.

(CHUCKLES)

-Tiana, I...

-(GASPS) There it is!

Your restaurant?

Can't you just picture it?

All lit up like the 4th of July.

-Yes. Jazz pouring out of every window!

-It should be elegant.

But you got to keep it loose, though.

Got to let it swing.

-You know a good ukulele player?

-Really? You'd let me perform?

I'll talk to the owner. Owner says yes.

(EXCLAIMS)

Folks are going to be coming together

from all walks of life

just to get a taste of our food.

Our food?

Huh? Oh, no. My daddy.

We always wanted

to open this restaurant.

He died before he could see it happen.

But tomorrow, with your help,

our dream is finally coming true.

-Tomorrow?

-If I don't deliver that money

first thing tomorrow,

I lose this place forever.

(SIGHS)

Tiana, I love

the way you light up

when you talk about your dream.

A dream that... It is so beautiful, I...

I promise I will do whatever it takes

to make it come true.

(BOAT HOOTING)

CAPTAIN:

Port of New Orleans, all ashore!

I'll go round up the boys.

(SIGHS)

Evangeline,

I've always been so sure about

what I wanted, but now I...

What do I do?

Please tell me.

(MUFFLED GRUNTING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Prince Naveen, darling.

You better hurry up. Don't want to be

late for our Mardi Gras wedding.

Um... Getting dressed! Just a few more

minutes, my dearest heart.

Okay, honey lamb.

We'll be waiting in the Packard.

Daddy, start the car!

Oh, my heavens, I'm doomed! Ow!

No, Larry! I'm the one who's doomed.

Unless we get that frog's blood in...

(RUMBLING)

(SHADOWS HOWLING)

(GRUNTING)

(EXCLAIMS)

We are back in business, boys!

Get your filthy hands off me! Lawrence!

(CHUCKLING) Oh, now hold still,

Your Eminence.

(BOAT HOOTING)

ALL:
(CHANTING)

Mardi Gras! Mardi Gras!

Ray! Have you seen Naveen?

Look at you. Where the ring at?

What are you talking about?

Well, if Cap didn't say nothing,

I ain't going to say nothing

because old Ray's sealed up

tight as a drum.

-You ain't getting nothing out of me, no!

-Ray.

Okay, Cap not going to marry Charlotte,

he going to marry you!

Soon as he gets himself kissed

and y'all both turn human,

he's going to find a job,

get you that restaurant...

I said too much, didn't I?

You said just enough, Ray!

Thank you, Evangeline.

(RAY LAUGHS)

(LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

He was trying to propose!

That's what all that fumbling was about!

And here I thought all he wanted

was to marry a rich girl!

(RAY EXCLAIMS)

What are we looking for again?

You just keep your eyes out

for the biggest, gaudiest float

with a Mardi Gras princess

about to kiss herself a...

(GASPS)

A frog.

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here tonight

in this fine celebration to join together

this prince and this young woman

in holy matrimony.

Oh, no. This can't be right, darling.

And how you can still be a frog?

Mama Odie, she...

(GASPS)

I know what we seen with our eyes,

but if we just go back that way,

we're going to find out

your fairy tale come true.

Just because you wish for something

doesn't make it true.

It's like my Evangeline always said

to me...

Evangeline is nothing but a star, Ray!

A big ball of hot air

a million miles from here!

Open your eyes now,

before you get hurt.

She just speaking out a broken heart.

That's all that is.

Come on, Evangeline.

We're going to show chre the truth!

If any of you objects to the union

of these 2 people,

(CHUCKLING WICKEDLY)

speak now or forever hold your peace.

Me! Me! I object!

REVEREND:
Do you, Prince Naveen,

take Charlotte to be your wife?

Cap, what you doing, son?

(SHOUTS)

(GROANS)

REVEREND:

...as you both shall live?

What? I do! Yes, I'm for it.

-Do you, Charlotte La Bouff...

-Is that you, Cap?

NAVEEN:

Ray! Get me out of this box!

I can't hear you!

I'm going to get you out this box!

...to keep yourself only unto him,

as long as you both shall live?

Oh, I do.

REVEREND:
And so, by the power

vested in me by the state of Louisiana,

I now pronounce you man and...

Prince Naveen!

(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

(CROWD EXCLAIMING)

Goodness gracious! Are you all right?

I just need a moment

to compose myself.

CHARLOTTE:

Cheese and crackers!

NAVEEN:

Lawrence, why are you doing this?

As payback for

all those years of humiliation.

Get your royal rump back on that

wedding cake and finish this deal!

What's he doing? Stop him!

LAWRENCE:

Give it to me!

I've got it! It got me, too.

-Let go of that!

-Stay out of sight!

(GRUNTING)

Come on. Come on.

(WHISTLING)

(UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Ray?

Hey, why did you stop?

(LOUIS ROARING)

MAN:

He's a real gator!

(RAY SHOUTING IN FRENCH)

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