The Princess Bride Page #11

CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP'S THROAT

as Vizzini jabs with his long knife. Buttercup gasps against

the pain.

CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

stopping fast.

MAN IN BLACK:

But if there can be no

arrangement, then we are at an

impasse.

VIZZINI:

I'm afraid so -- I can't compete

with you physically. And you're

no match for my brains.

MAN IN BLACK:

You're that smart?

VIZZINI:

Let me put it this way: have you

ever heard of Plato, Aristotle,

Socrates?

MAN IN BLACK:

Yes.

VIZZINI:

Morons.

MAN IN BLACK:

Really? In that case, I challenge

you to a battle of wits.

VIZZINI:

For the Princess?

The Man In Black nods.

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44.

VIZZINI:

To the death?

Another nod.

VIZZINI:

I accept.

MAN IN BLACK:

Good. Then pour the wine.

As Vizzini fills the goblets with the dark red liquid, the

Man In Black pulls a small packet from his clothing, handing

it to Vizzini.

MAN IN BLACK:

Inhale this, but do not touch.

VIZZINI:

(doing it)

I smell nothing.

MAN IN BLACK:

(taking the packet back)

What you do not smell is called

iocane powder. It is odorless,

tasteless, dissolves instantly in

liquid, and is among the more

deadlier poisons known to man.

VIZZINI:

Hmm.

CUT TO:

VIZZINI:

watching excitedly as the Man In Black takes the goblets,

turns his back. A moment later, he turns again, faces

Vizzini, drops the iocane packet. It is now empty.

The Man In Black rotates the goblets in a little shell game

maneuver then puts one glass in front of Vizzini, the other

in front of himself.

MAN IN BLACK:

All right:
where is the poison?

The battle of wits has begun. It

ends when you decide and we both

drink, and find out who is right

and who is dead.

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45.

VIZZINI:

But it's so simple. All I have to

do is divine from what I know of

you. Are you the sort of man who

would put the poison into his own

goblet, or his enemy's?

He studies the Man In Black now.

VIZZINI:

Now, a clever man would put the

poison into his own goblet,

because he would know that only a

great fool would reach for what

he was given. I'm not a great

fool, so I can clearly not choose

the wine in front of you. But you

must have known I was not a great

fool; you would have counted on

it, so I can clearly not choose

the wine in front of me.

MAN IN BLACK:

(And now there's a

trace of nervousness beginning)

You've made your decision then7

VIZZINI:

Not remotely. Because iocane

comes from Australia, as everyone

knows. And Australia is entirely

peopled with criminals. And

criminals are used to having

people not trust them, as you are

not trusted by me. So I can

clearly not choose the wine in

front of you.

MAN IN BLACK:

Truly, you have a dizzying

intellect.

VIZZINI:

Wait till I get going! Where was I?

MAN IN BLACK:

Australia.

VIZZINI:

Yes -- Australia, and you must

have suspected I would have known

the powder's origin, so I can

clearly not choose the wine in

front of me.

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46.

MAN IN BLACK:

(very nervous)

You're just stalling now.

VIZZINI:

(cackling)

You'd like to think that, wouldn't

you?

(stares at the Man in Black)

You've beaten my giant, which

means you're exceptionally strong.

So, you could have put the poison

in your own goblet, trusting on

your strength to save you. So I

can clearly not choose the wine

in front of you. But, you've also

bested my Spaniard which means

you must have studied. And in

studying, you must have learned

that man is mortal so you would

have put the poison as far from

yourself as possible, so I can

clearly not choose the wine in

front of me.

As Vizzini's pleasure has been growing throughout, the Man

In Black's has been fast disappearing.

MAN IN BLACK:

You're trying to trick me into

giving away something -- it won't

work --

VIZZINI:

(triumphant)

It has worked -- you've given

everything away -- I know where

the poison is.

MAN IN BLACK:

(fool's courage)

Then make your choice.

VIZZINI:

I will. And I choose --

And suddenly he stops, points at something behind the Man In

Black.

VIZZINI:

-- what in the world can that be?

CUT TO:

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47.

THE MAN IN BLACK

turning around, looking.

MAN IN BLACK:

What? Where? I don't see anything.

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