The Princess Bride Page #19

RUGEN:

As you know, the concept of the

suction pump is centuries old.

Well, really, that's all this is.

Except that instead of sucking

water, I'm sucking life. I've

just sucked one year of your life

away. I might one day go as high

as five, but I really don't know

what that would do to you. So,

let's just start with what we

have. What did this do to you?

Tell me. And remember, this is

for posterity, so be honest --

how do you feel?

AND NOW, AT LAST:

CUT TO:

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77.

WESTLEY:

in anguish so deep it is dizzying. Helpless, he cries.

Count Rugen watches the tears, then starts to write.

RUGEN:

Interesting.

CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK:

in his quarters, swamped. Piles of papers are strewn all

over. Now YELLIN, a pale, shifty, quick-eyed man appears in

the doorway.

HUMPERDINCK:

Yellin.

YELLIN:

(bows, then kneels)

Sire.

HUMPERDINCK:

As Chief Enforcer of all Florin,

I trust you with this secret:

killers from Guilder are

infiltrating the Thieves' Forest

and plan to murder my bride on

our wedding night.

YELLIN:

My spy network has heard no such

news.

CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP:

entering.

BUTTERCUP:

Any word from Westley?

CUT TO:

THE PRINCE AND YELLIN

turning to her in the doorway.

HUMPERDINCK:

Too soon, my angel. Patience.

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78.

BUTTERCUP:

He will come for me.

HUMPERDINCK:

Of course.

As she glides out--

HUMPERDINCK:

She will not be murdered. On the

day of the wedding, I want the

Thieves' Forest emptied and every

inhabitant arrested.

YELLIN:

Many of the thieves will resist.

My regular enforcers will be

inadequate.

HUMPERDINCK:

Form a Brute Squad then. I want

the Thieves' Forest emptied

before I wed.

YELLIN:

It won't be easy, Sire.

HUMPERDINCK:

(alone, exhausted)

Try ruling the world sometime.

CUT TO:

THE THIEVES' FOREST - DAY

A lot of hollering is going on. The THIEVES are being

rounded up by the BRUTE SQUAD, a large group of large men.

Yellin stands on a wagon in the midst of all the scuffling.

GRANDFATHER:

(off-screen)

The day of the wedding arrived.

The Brute Squad had their hands

full carrying out Humperdinck's

orders.

YELLIN:

(to an unpleasantlooking

assistant)

Is everybody out?

ASSISTANT BRUTE:

Almost. There's a Spaniard giving

us some trouble.

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79.

YELLIN:

Well, you give him some trouble.

Move!

And his wagon starts, and as it does,

CUT TO:

INIGO:

drunk as a skunk, sprawled in front of a hovel, a bottle of

brandy in one hand, the six-fingered sword in the other. He

looks dreadful. Unshaven, puffy-eyed, gaunt. But the way he

brandishes the great sword in front of him would give anyone

cause for worry.

INIGO:

I am waiting for you, Vizzini.

You told me to go back to the

beginning. So I have. This is

where I am, and this is where

I'll stay. I will not be moved.

He takes a long pull from his brandy bottle. He stops as the

Assistant Brute comes into view.

ASSISTANT BRUTE:

Ho there.

INIGO:

I do not budge. Keep your "Ho

there."

He waves his sword dangerously.

ASSISTANT BRUTE:

But the Prince gave orders --

INIGO:

-- So did Vizzini -- when a job

went wrong, you went back to the

beginning. And this is where we

got the job. So it's the

beginning, and I'm staying till

Vizzini comes.

ASSISTANT BRUTE:

(gesturing off-screen)

You! Brute! Come here.

INIGO:

-- I -- am -- waiting -- for --

Vizzini --

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80.

VOICE:

(off-screen)

You surely are a meanie.

INIGO feels a hand on his back. A huge hand. He compares it

to his own smaller hand.

FEZZIK:

Hello.

INIGO:

It's you.

FEZZIK:

True!

And as the Assistant Brute is just about to club Inigo's

brains out, FEZZIK lets fly with a stupendous punch.

The Assistant Brute takes the full force of the blow right

in the chops. It's like he was shot from a cannon as he

careens backwards out of sight across the street.

There is a pause. Then a crunching sound, as he clearly has

come in contact with something hard and immobile.

FEZZIK puts Inigo down.

FEZZIK:

You don't look so good.

(after Inigo blasts

air in protest)

You don't smell so good either.

INIGO:

Perhaps not. I feel fine.

FEZZIK:

Yeah?

And so FEZZIK puts Inigo down. That's when Inigo faints, and

as he does,

CUT TO:

AN EMPTY ALEHOUSE IN THE THIEVES' QUARTER

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