The Princess Bride Page #28

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INSIDE THE HONEYMOON SUITE

WESTLEY lies as before, not a muscle has moved, his head is

still on the headboard, Yellin's sword at his side.

Buttercup is alongside the bed; her eyes never leave his face.

BUTTERCUP:

Oh, Westley, will you ever

forgive me?

WESTLEY:

What hideous sin have you

committed lately?

BUTTERCUP:

I got married. I didn't want to.

It all happened so fast.

WESTLEY:

It never happened.

BUTTERCUP:

What?

WESTLEY:

It never happened.

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117.

BUTTERCUP:

But it did. I was there. This old

man said, "Man and wife."

WESTLEY:

Did you say, "I do"?

BUTTERCUP:

Well, no, we sort of skipped that

part.

WESTLEY:

Then you're not married -- if you

didn't say it, you didn't do it

(a pause)

-- wouldn't you agree, Your

Highness?

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HUMPERDINCK:

entering the room, staring at them. He pulls out his sword.

HUMPERDINCK:

A technicality that will shortly

be remedied. But first things

first. To the death.

WESTLEY:

No.

(a little pause)

To the pain.

HUMPERDINCK:

(about to charge,

stops short)

I don't think I'm quite familiar

with that phrase.

WESTLEY:

I'll explain. And I'll use small

words so that you'll be sure to

understand, you wart-hog-faced

buffoon.

HUMPERDINCK:

That may be the first time in my

life a man has dared insult me.

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118.

WESTLEY:

lying there comfortably, his words quiet at first.

WESTLEY:

It won't be the last. To the pain

means the first thing you lose

will be your feet, below the

ankles, then your hands at the

wrists, next your nose.

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HUMPERDINCK:

gripping his sword, watching.

HUMPERDINCK:

-- and then my tongue, I suppose.

I killed you too quickly the last

time, a mistake I don't mean to

duplicate tonight.

WESTLEY:

I wasn't finished -- the next

thing you lose will be your left

eye, followed by your right --

HUMPERDINCK:

(takes step forward)

-- and then my ears, I understand.

Let's get on with it

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CLOSE UP:
WESTLEY HUGE

WESTLEY:

Wrong! Your ears you keep, and

I'll tell you why --

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HUMPERDINCK:

And now he stops, and the look that was in his eyes at the

wedding, that look of fear, is starting to return.

WESTLEY:

-- so that every shriek of every

child at seeing your hideousness

will be yours to cherish -- every

babe that weeps at your approach,

every woman who cries out, "Dear

God, what is that thing?" will

echo in your perfect ears.

(MORE)

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119.

WESTLEY (CONT'D)

That is what "to the pain" means.

It means I leave you in anguish,

wallowing in freakish misery

forever.

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HUMPERDINCK:

doing his best to hide the fear that keeps building inside

him.

HUMPERDINCK:

I think you're bluffing --

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WESTLEY:

lying there, staring at him.

WESTLEY:

It's possible, pig -- I might be

bluffing -- it's conceivable, you

miserable vomitous mass, that I'm

only lying here because I lack

the strength to stand -- then

again, perhaps I have the strength

after all.

And now, slowly, Westley begins to move. His body turns, his

feet go to the floor, he starts to stand --

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HUMPERDINCK:

staring, eyes wide.

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WESTLEY:

And now he is standing, sword in fighting position.

WESTLEY:

(slow and determined)

DROP-YOUR-SWORD.

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120.

PRINCE HUMPERDINCK

and he's so panicked he doesn't know whether to pee or wind

his watch. He throws his sword to the floor.

WESTLEY:

(to Humperdinck)

Have a seat.

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WESTLEY:

speaking to Buttercup as Humperdinck sits.

WESTLEY:

Tie him up. Make it as tight as

you like.

And as she sets to work --

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INIGO:

entering, looking around.

INIGO:

Where's Fezzik?

WESTLEY:

I thought he was with you.

INIGO:

No.

WESTLEY:

In that case --

his balance betrays him.

INIGO:

(to Buttercup)

Help him.

BUTTERCUP:

Why does Westley need helping?

INIGO:

Because he has no strength --

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121.

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