The Private Lives of Pippa Lee Page #6

(chuckles)

(Herb) I bought something for you.

Now, you only have to wear this once.

I'll be alone at the beach house

this weekend,

- and I want you to come for lunch.

- (Pippa gasps)

- You weren't supposed to buy this.

- I needed to.

(Pippa) I loved being with Herb.

He made me feel protected.

(Herb) I thought I was a writer.

I thought it was my calling,

but it just wasn't. I, er...

I-I couldn't flow.

I have a very critical nature,

and it kept me from being able to flow.

Then I... was slightly lost for a while.

I had no idea what I was gonna do,

and I had a friend in the publishing

business, and he offered me a job.

- And here I am.

- Hmm.

Tell me what you like about me.

Well, you're not a show-off about it,

but I think you're very intelligent,

and... you're beautiful,

but you're cool about it,

and there's a sadness about you,

and I like that, in moderation.

- I like your jacket.

- And that's it?

(laughs) No.

No, I...

I like your face and your voice...

...and, erm...

- This is gonna sound strange.

- Say it.

It's like, erm...

Like I can feel what you're feeling.

You know, if you feel nervous

or happy or sad, I can feel it.

I-In my body, in my fingers.

- What a remarkable thing.

- Oh.

I'd like you not to feel as if you have

to censor yourself around me.

Tell me something about yourself. Tell

me the most important thing about you.

I'm a f***-up.

(Pippa) I felt like I was being

rescued from a burning wreck.

If I'm good for anything in the world,

it's for letting you know

how wonderful you are.

You're my true wife, you know?

No, you don't want me.

I only make people sad.

I don't believe that.

(sighs) Anyway, you have a wife.

If I have to live with that lunatic

for another week, I'll hang myself.

For years, I've hoped she'd have

an affair so I can walk out on her,

- but she won't do it, the b*tch.

- (laughs)

(electrical whirring)

Mrs Lee still seems unwilling to work

her way up like the rest of us.

- (mutters) Oh, go stick it up your ass.

- What did you say to me?

(young Pippa) I don't understand.

She agrees to divorce

if we have lunch with her?

(Herb) She wants to make the switch

in an elegant way.

(Pippa)

I can't believe you agreed to this!

(Herb)

I owe her this much. Come on, let's go.

Hello, Mr Lee. Nice to see you.

Hello, miss.

- (Herb) Hello, Alphonsa.

- (Gigi) Welcome.

(Herb) Hi, hi. Hello, hello, hello.

- (Sam) Hi.

- Sam! What a pleasant surprise.

(Gigi)

I told Ursa to bring in the champagne.

- Perfect symmetry.

- What?

- Come on.

- She invited me for lunch.

(Sam) Stop! Cheers.

- Oh. You're such a baby.

- (Herb) Thanks.

(Pippa) Let's face it,

I wanted Gigi's life at that moment.

It wasn't the money, exactly.

It was just that the money

made everything seem alright.

It was the opposite of chaos,

of everything I had known up until then.

I wanted to be sheltered at last.

- Madam.

- Lunch is served.

Oh, my.

(Gigi) Pippa?

Herb.

(Gigi) This lunch is in honour

of telling it like it is.

You know how we all eat chops

and hamburgers,

and we don't think of the faces

of who gets killed?

- Anybody here a vegetarian?

- (Gigi) Here's the truth as I see it.

- A pig for a cow. A fair exchange.

- (Sam) And who's who?

- Sorry.

- OK, let's have lunch. Who wants pig?

- First, a toast.

- (Sam) Aw, jeez!

(Gigi) To transformation.

Put the gun down.

Put it down.

Put it down, Gigi.

Isn't it funny how men

always marry women

who are easier and easier to dominate,

until they end up with an imbecile?

Put the gun down.

Put it down.

- Give me the... No!

- (gunshot)

(sobs)

(Pippa) Her image would haunt me

for the rest of my life.

(sobs)

I knew without thinking

that not only would I marry Herb,

I would give myself to him,

like a penitent.

This was my last chance at goodness.

If I f***ed this up,

I would be fallen forever.

Every day I tried to be good,

to erase the past.

I stopped getting high.

But I didn't know

how to be this new person.

Like a dancer learning a new routine, I

relied on repetition to teach my brain.

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

It wasn't till I had the babies though

that I really believed my own act.

That was when Pippa Sarkissian

disappeared forever.

That was how I became Pippa Lee.

I got thrown out of pottery class.

I got thrown out of pottery class!

- (Herb) Who is it?

- It's me.

(Herb) I'll be right there.

- Everything OK?

- I got thrown out of pottery class.

- Why?

- I told the teacher to screw off.

Let me get my keys.

We'll get some coffee.

She's a witch. She's...

Why is this towel here, sweetheart?

Were you eating, and you didn't

want to mess up the couch?

No.

What?

- (Sandra moans)

- (Pippa tuts)

- When did this start?

- Sometime after we moved here.

I was hoping it was an affair,

but... it just isn't.

I-I know this has got to be...

dreadful for you.

I... I want you to have all the money.

You deserve everything.

(sighs) Thanks. Erm, well,

are you going to marry her?

Well, at my age, it would be

pretty ridiculous, wouldn't it?

And... I just wanna live.

The past few years, I can feel you

starting to bury me, Pippa.

I can feel the earth in my mouth, almost

as if you're looking forward to it.

- How can you say that?

- I can feel you starting to pity me,

being afraid of me.

You're already mourning. Don't deny it.

I mean, of course, I-I am afraid

of you getting old and dying.

It's normal to be afraid.

Well, I don't want to be normal

or mourned. I am not a ghost!

I wanna live!

Nobody knows when they're gonna die.

You could die tomorrow, and f*** you

for making me feel like an old man!

- But, Herb, you are an old man.

- (clattering)

- (Pippa) Oh, my... Oh, Sandra!

- (Sandra whimpers)

Killing yourself

with a disposable razor.

I don't think

anyone's ever done that before.

She was in despair, you know.

She loves you.

This first-aid kit came in handy,

didn't it?

(Pippa) I had the strangest feeling

walking down those stairs.

I suddenly felt so light,

as if a great weight

had been lifted off of me.

(radio) Remember this moment,

sports fans. Remember where you were.

Pippa Lee rounding the bend,

guilt baton in hand,

coming up on Sandra Dulles,

and the pass is complete!

Pippa Lee has passed

the guilt baton to Sandra Dulles!

I never thought

I'd live to see this moment!

- Hi, there.

- Hi.

(laughs)

What's going on?

My husband has been having an affair

with a good friend of mine.

So...

...it's official.

Nobody needs me any more.

(knock at door)

- Hi, Ma.

- (Pippa) Dot!

- Wait.

- Dot! No, no, no.

Please, I didn't mean to upset you.

I really didn't.

- That man is 35 years old.

- But we haven't done...

And you are whatever you are.

It's none... It's none of my beeswax.

It is just disappointing

when someone turns out not to be

the person you thought they were.

(Chris urinates)

I lost control.

I... I care about you tremendously.

Why don't I feel anything? I mean, it

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