The Pumpkin Eater Page #7

- How often?

- There weren't any others.

- Did you bring them here?

- How here?

- Where did you take them?

- It never happened.

Did you sleep with her? With Philpot?

I knew you would come, my darling.

Oh, my darling.

I don't know what to do.

I wish I knew what to do.

I've been sitting here

thinking about it.

And then you came.

Oh, you' re trembling.

- Are you cold?

- No.

No, it's not cold.

But we've got to face it.

George loved his garden.

He wouldn't want strangers

in his garden,

with spades and things,

digging up his garden.

I'll not do it. I've made up my mind.

- Don't you think I'm right?

- Yes.

When the boys get back,

we'll have tea.

- Boys?

- Pete and Jack.

They came to see me yesterday.

They'll always come, they say.

I'm so pleased

you had that sensible operation.

So sensible.

It must be so wonderfuI for Jake

not to have that awfuI worry

over his head any more.

He's worked so hard for you.

There they are.

They came in the back gate.

To you!

Kick it, man. There you are.

Did you come in the back gate?

Mm-hm.

Did you see who's here?

- Hello.

- Hello.

Hello.

- You' re looking very well.

- Very well.

In a minute we'll have tea.

Pete won the 100 yards.

- Did you?

- Yes.

- The 220, too.

- Good.

I like your car.

- It's a Florida.

- Yes.

It's a good car. Fast.

Did you have lots of traffic?

- Traffic?

- On the way down.

No.

I often think...

I often think...

the birds wake me up now,

every morning.

Here you are, then!

Well, pick it up!

Good evening.

Good evening.

I hope you' re not alarmed by my call.

No.

May I introduce myself to you?

Yes, do.

I'm the new King of IsraeI,

appointed by Yahweh,

the EternaI Lord God.

I've come to give you my blessing.

May I come in for a moment?

Yes. Yes, of course.

Thank you.

I've been anointed.

I am the King of Judea.

I see.

Just a minute.

I have been appointed

to fulfiI the prophecy in EzekieI.

The prophecy occurs 72 times

in the Book of EzekieI.

The people are unhappy because

they give the gift of their love

to unworthy men

and unworthy women.

The continents are no obstruction,

oceans are no impediment.

The Word is the work.

- Here, please.

- Thank you.

This will help me.

My aim is to build

a radio station in Jerusalem.

Excuse me.

The music of the Word

can emanate and issue out

through the miracle of the medium

of the modern channels

of communication.

- Hello?

- Mrs Armitage?

- Mrs Armitage?

- She's not here.

- That's you, isn't it?

- I don't know what you mean.

All right, give her a message.

Tell her that Beth Conway is pregnant.

And it's not mine.

I thought she might be interested.

I'll tell her.

Tell her that my wife will

have this kid in a public ward,

and if there's any way of stopping her

getting a whiff of gas, I'll find it.

- She can't have it.

- She's going to have it, all right.

She's going to wipe its bottom,

she's going to stare at its ugly mug

for the rest of her life.

No more gay life for my little Beth.

Oh, dear, no.

This kid's going to mak e her

curse Jak e Armitage until she's dead.

I'm gonna grind the slime out of her.

I'm gonna see that she...

You will be blessed for this.

Cut it out, you...

- Bastard!

- Cut it out!

Stop! Cut it out, will you?

You always were

the sexiest of my husbands.

- Was I?

- Mm-hm.

Why did I leave you?

I was too sexy?

Yes.

Perhaps that was it.

Perhaps I should try

all my husbands in turn.

Yes, you could.

One of them's dead,

that's the trouble.

Which one?

The one I took over from, remember?

You were a widow at the time.

Oh, yes. Of course.

- He was in the army or something.

- That's right.

Killed in action.

You cried when I left you.

You were heartbroken.

Yes, I cried.

That means you must

still be mad about me.

Well, I'm not.

Why not?

You've changed.

You go to bed with your clothes on.

That's because I have scars

I don't want you to see.

You always had scars.

I have a very new scar.

What about your husband?

Doesn't he mind?

No, he doesn't mind.

He did it himself

with a monkey wrench.

Excuse me, Mr Armitage.

The gentleman at the end.

Cheers!

How's the wife?

Excuse me a minute.

- Old friend of mine.

- Yes, of course.

I'll tell you

the last time I saw CyriI...

You don't mind my coming up

and speaking to you?

I mean, I know that scriptwriters

after a hard day's work at the studio

like to have a little drink in peace.

But when I saw you, I said to myself,

" My goodness, there's Jake Armitage.

" I've been to his house, I know him.

" I wonder if he'd mind

if I spoke to him. "

What makes you think scriptwriters

mind being spoken to?

- Don't they?

- Scriptwriters love being spoken to.

- Really?

- Anyway,

it's not often I get a night out

with the boys.

Uh-huh.

Where is your little wife this evening?

She's opening

the Chelsea Flower Show.

Go on!

Tell me, do you play snooker?

- Yes, I do, as a matter of fact.

- What a shame. I don't.

- What games do you play?

- What games?

You know,

I honestly can't remember.

What games do you play?

Snooker, for one.

I bet you' re pretty good.

- Not as good as you are.

- I don't play.

- I don't believe any of that.

- Cheers.

You haven't heard

the glad tidings yet, have you?

- What's that?

- My wife's going to have a baby.

Is that so? I say.

Yes. You and your wife

will have to come over and see it.

I understand that

she's very interested in children.

Yes, we'd adore to.

How is your wife, by the way?

She's tip-top.

She's attending a reception

for the Duchess of Dubrovnik.

I thought she WAS

the Duchess of Dubrovnik.

My wife? No, not at all.

Well, you' re not

the bloody Duke, anyway.

You've made me wet!

Yes.

Shall I stay?

No, you can't.

- Killer.

- What do you mean, killer?

Who have I killed?

It's him.

He's responsible.

I've been faithfuI. I've cared.

But his child's inside her.

He phoned while you were asleep.

Did he?

Why?

Is his bed cold?

What has he suffered?

It's me.

Look at me.

I am.

What should I have done?

I didn't want anything else.

There was something we had,

for us to keep.

I didn't trust it.

It's gone.

My life is an empty place.

Oh, God.

All this waste.

He phoned to say

his father's dead.

.. to all that love

and fear thee, saying,

Come, ye blessed children

of my Father.

Receive the kingdom prepared for you

from the beginning of the world.

Grant this, we beseech thee,

O mercifuI Father,

through Jesus Christ,

our Mediator and Redeemer.

Amen.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ

and the love of God

and the Fellowship of the Holy Ghost

be with us all evermore.

Amen.

Come on!

Wait till Mummy sees these!

Come on, Daddy!

- I got some sugar.

- Good.

He's run off with my stick.

I'm not pushing you all the way up.

Mark, I thought you were

going to shoot me a moment ago.

Understand?

I'll tell you what. If you...

Oh, boy, I'm flaked!

.. cross over my path any more,

I'll shoot you.

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