The Punk Singer Page #3

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were getting shoved.

The problem with our shows

a lot of times, a lot of guys.

would get really out of control.

...and start, like,

beating everybody up.

The more girls up front,

the better, and if anybody is.

...f***ing with you at this show

because of certain reasons and.

...you need to come up front, come.

...up front and sit on the stage

and get away from them and let.

...us know, because it shouldn't

just be one person in the.

...crowd's responsibility

to deal with f***ers.

Every show we

played was like a war.

Guys would try to beat us

up and stuff, you know?

It was really violent, and we.

...just played these crazy places...

...like bowling alleys, and they'd.

...cram, like, 600 people

in there and stuff.

You know, no security.

We wanted girls to stand at.

...the front of our shows a lot of.

...times just because we needed to.

...be protected, and I felt like

if there was a row of girls in.

...front of them, I would be safe.

There physically was not the.

...space for young women to

be safe at these shows.

And that was a huge part of what.

Kathleen did, was to say

that's unacceptable.

"F*** you.

You're gonna change now.

And if you don't f***ing pick up.

...the gentle hint, we're gonna.

...f***ing very clearly direct

you as to what to do. "

It was shocking.

They just weren't expecting

those kind of orders to come.

...from that size of a person, that.

...gender of a person,

in a f***ing dress.

When I started writing

the book, the more that I

...researched, the more respect I

got for kind of what a good.

...thinker Kathleen is and how good.

...she was at, like, crystallizing

a widely held feeling into a.

...really irresistible

artistic format.

She would instruct people.

"Here's a little snippet

from our fanzine.

Maybe if you could

move to the back. "

Like, it was this very... it

was kind of an empowering and.

...surreal experience, 'cause you

weren't really used to being.

...talked to from the stage.

Hi.

It was like, "oh, music is.

...supposed to be escapist,"

and it wasn't.

It was grounding it.

It was making music a voice for.

...a lot of people that

hadn't been heard before.

I remember the

song "feels blind. "

"All the doves that pass through.

...my eyes have a stickiness

to their wings.

How does it feel?

Feels blind.

What have you taught me?

This world has

taught me nothing. "

I mean, like, I'm still, like...

...getting shivers when I

think about those words.

All the doves

that fly past my eyes.

...have a stickiness

to their wings

in the doorway of

my demise I stand...

...encased in the whisper

you taught me

how does it feel?

It feels blind

how does it feel?

Well, it feels f***ing blind

The way that Kathleen delivered

that line was so angry.

It was so outside the realm of.

...how a young woman

is supposed to act.

It was really raw.

I eat your f***ing

hate up like love

Stories of abuse, emotional.

...violence, sexism that were

just bubbling around.

They brought that

out in the open.

She wanted to talk

about this stuff.

You know, you're

objectifying women.

What does that mean?

What does that do to my body?

You're celebrating a

certain kind of woman.

What does that do if I

don't fit into that mold?

You know, breaking down the.

...rules of what a girl has to be.

Or not, you know?

I mean, even she has it in the.

...songs, you know, the dirty nails.

...and not being the

perfect, big-titted girl.

I mean, I remember thinking.

...that each person in the band was.

...incredibly powerful and

interesting to watch.

And we were doing some

dates with nirvana.

I think Tobi was still

involved with Kurt.

Kurt has a history

with bikini kill.

He's very connected to Kathleen

and what she was doing.

Any good biography of Kurt

cobain now acknowledges.

...that he didn't come out of.

...hesher rock in the

pacific northwest.

He came out of feminist

art-punk, you know?

And he said it himself

at that time.

Kurt was a very

charismatic person.

I kind of started hanging out.

with him because I had a

boyfriend who became a.

...crackhead, and then he

started, like, stalking me.

And I was known as a feminist...

...and I felt like I couldn't ask.

...for help from people because

I thought that they'd think...

"she's making too big of a deal.

...out of it because

she's a feminist. "

And the only person who

believed me was my friend Kurt.

I was his friend for

life at that moment.

He stuck up for me.

He was, like, the only

person that stuck up for me.

I wrote, "Kurt smells like teen

spirit" on the wall of his.

...apartment after we spray-painted.

...it on the side of a

fake abortion clinic.

Kurt spray-painted,

"God is gay. "

We were so wasted, so wasted,

super f***ing wasted.

And the next day, I swore off.

...alcohol, and I didn't

drink for six years.

Olympia's a really great

scene in terms of community.

But in terms of politics, it

was kind of difficult for us.

We thought it'd be cool if we

moved to D.C., where there.

...already was a precedent for

bands like us... Not really.

...feminist bands, but at least

bands that were interested in.

what was going on in the world.

So, we moved with our friends.

...from the band Bratmobile,

and that's where the whole.

...riot grrrl thing really started.

There were all these things.

...in the late '80s and early '90s...

...like Anita hill/clarence Thomas...

...the William Kennedy

Smith rape trial.

There were things that happened.

...all in a really quick succession.

...that our generations of people...

who were, like, 18 and 19 in the.

...late '80s, experienced it, and

we knew that they were wrong.

There was utter pandemonium.

...outside the university building...

...as ambulances carted

away the injured.

Police have now confirmed 14

students dead, all women.

Another dozen people were hurt,

caught in a rampage that.

witnesses called a human hunt...

with the gunman yelling,

"I want women. "

Our friend Jen Smith said,

"you know what we need?

We need a girl riot. "

Tobi had talked about

"angry girl" with many Rs.

The combination of what.

Jen Smith and Tobi said

became "riot grrrl. "

So, we made a 'zine

called riot grrrl.

The original riot grrrl.

...zine, it was mostly Kathleen

Hanna, Allison wolfe...

...and Molly Newman from

Bratmobile, Jen Smith and.

Tobi Vail, the drummer

of bikini kill.

Allison and I went to a punk.

...show with a clipboard, and we.

...just walked up to girls, and we.

were like, "we want to have an.

...all-girl meeting where we just

talk maybe about starting a.

...magazine or doing projects,

playing punk music and starting.

...a scene and kind

of taking over. "

We got to do the first.

...riot grrrl meeting at

positive force house.

Our first meeting was, like, it.

was pretty intense, and, as it.

...turned out, they just wanted to.

...hang out and talk without

men being there.

They wanted to talk

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