The Punk Singer Page #5

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...just tearing her apart publicly.

...and revealing a lot of personal.

...things about her that she

hadn't chosen to reveal.

How things become just so.

...distorted and taken

out of their hands.

There was an article in.

...the Washington Post, and it.

...said that my father raped me.

And I never spoke to a reporter.

I've never asserted that.

And I will say right now on.

...camera my father

did not rape me.

My father was sexually

inappropriate.

He wasn't a great father.

He was physically and

verbally abusive at times.

But he did not

physically rape me.

I make a distinction between

sexual inappropriateness and.

...abuse in my mind because I know

...other people's stories that are.

...super-horrific, and, like,

way more horrific than mine.

And that just isn't my story.

And I was really upset

when it said that.

And it taught me a big lesson

about how a lot of reporters.

...don't fact-check anything.

Instead of being, like, sitting.

...around, being upset about it, I

...thought it was really important

that I kept making music and.

...that I went on tour and that.

...other girls got to hear

what we were making.

I'm a little

girl at the picnic.

who won't stop pulling

her dress up

it doesn't matter

who's in control now

it doesn't matter 'cause

this is new radio

what the f*** is written

all over your pretty face?

The gaps in teeth,

the dirty nails

baby boy, you can't kill

what's f***ing real

turn that song down

turn the static up

come here, baby

let me kiss you

like a boy does

oh-whoa

oh-whoa

oh-whoa

whoa-oh

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

yeah, yeah

yeah, yeah

yeah, yeah

yeah, yeah

let's wipe our cum

on my parents' bed

I had never seen bikini kill.

...play until "summersault" tour.

Mike from my band, he had a

bikini kill 7-inch, and it was.

...one of those things like, "oh...

...shoot, you got to

hear this record. "

And then, his wife, tamra...

who's a filmmaker,

interviewed Kathleen.

We were watching this thing that.

...she made, and it was f***ing

Kathleen being interviewed.

wearing a ski mask in, like, a.

...stairwell somewhere, and I was.

...like, "what the

f*** is going on?

This is some serious sh*t. "

And so I was very interested.

I did a video called "no

alternative girls," and.

Kathleen Hanna was in it, and.

...she was doing a media

blackout at the time.

So, she said she would appear in.

...the video, but she wouldn't

let her face be in it.

So, she wore this ski mask.

And then, I worked with her

again with sonic youth, when we.

...did the video for "bull

in the Heather. "

And so, when bikini kill was on.

...tour, Kathleen was there, and.

Adam was going through

this terrible breakup.

I was totally trying to get them.

...together, 'cause I thought they.

would be friends, at least, but.

...also, they had so much in

common, it seemed to me.

And I thought Kathleen would be.

...somebody really good

for Adam to talk to.

So... Yeah, that

was interesting.

I wanted to be encouraging,

but I was also afraid.

Bikini kill was super punk

rock, and then it reminded.

...me of, like, you know, when I

was in a hardcore band when I

was a kid, that feeling of just...

...like, "we'll just do whatever we.

...feel like doing," and

that was awesome to see.

To see this punk group, and it.

was all girls in front, and all.

...just girls just

all on the stage.

And, you know, for guys' shows...

...it's like, "get the

f*** off my stage. "

You know what I mean?

And then, Kathleen was just a

force, like a full-on force.

Like a car accident...

you can't look away.

But you know what I mean.

I mean a good car accident.

I didn't mean it.

You know, you're just

like, "what the f***?"

We went skateboarding

one night at adelaide.

I didn't realize... She

was very sneaky, I guess.

And she was like, "hey, who

wants to go skateboarding?"

And I was like, "uh,

I'll go skateboarding. "

Hey, Kathleen.

Hmm?

Come on.

I can dry myself.

What's going on?

I'm not telling you.

Dry yourself.

Get... would you

get out of here?

Dry yourself.

Initially, it was really

difficult weaving their worlds.

...together, but not because they.

...didn't have stuff in common, but.

...just because of the... what will.

...my friends think or my

community or something?

I was dating somebody who...

...like, wrote "girls, girls, girls.

...do my laundry" and sh*t

like that in the '80s.

So, I was, like, "what does this.

...mean that I'm a feminist artist...

...and I'm dating this person,

and I'm so in love with him?"

And it was like I realized that.

...you can't legislate kind of

who you fall in love with.

Like, I was totally in love with.

...him, and there was no way I was

not gonna hang out with him.

I'm sure it made it a

little exciting and, like...

...risky-feeling, but also it just.

...really opened my eyes that you

kind of fall in love with who.

...you fall in love with.

And I couldn't do

anything about it.

But I freaked out.

'Cause I like you

baby, it's all wrong

baby, baby, it's so wrong

oh, baby, it's so wrong

it feels so good

it's all wrong

After the whole tour

happened, they had this.

...long-distance relationship,

where they were only.

...communicating through the

phone or writing each other.

There was a time period

where we weren't, like... we.

...didn't do stuff in public,

and we were really private.

But that was kind of

both of our choices.

So, it wasn't really like we.

were hiding, but I could see

how it appeared that way.

The thing is about bikini

kill... They were looked.

...at and scrutinized so closely.

...and had this certain

level of celebrity.

But they were still

barely making rent.

They were still in a crappy van.

...that could easily break down.

They were still sleeping

on strangers' floors.

Bikini kill was just, like,

in this weird disarray, and.

...there was a lot of

tension between us.

You know, we'd all gotten into...

...like, weird roles of who we were.

...in that band, and it was kind of.

...just impossible to

get out of them.

What is bikini kill?

Bikini kill is forever in flux...

...and it's completely impossible

for us to discuss it, because.

...it's always changing.

And that's why it's really hard

for us to do interviews, and.

...also because all four of us

don't agree on anything ever.

And it's really difficult to.

...sort out what you can

actually say about it.

Our relationships as four

people disintegrated because we.

weren't ever looking at each

other and dealing with the.

...problems that each of us had.

I was in bikini kill

for, like, eight years.

It's a long time

for a girl band.

And to be under the magnifying.

...glass and kind of pinned to wax

...how we were, it's a

really, really long time.

Her work seemed to make her.

...feel isolated more, and, like...

...reaction to her band seemed to.

...make her feel like she was set.

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