The Rainbow Thief Page #2

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One bullet right through the heart.

Copal Karankanti, the World's Greatest

Living Fakir, cannot die!

He is indestructible!

On my right, Copal Karankanti...

-Help the blind!

-Youth fades!

Think on your end!

-Help the Blind!

-Youth fades!

-Help the blind!

Cigarette for dinner, my friend?

Cigarette?

I ain't your friend and you're

blocking my light!

Put it back!

-Put it back!

By the way, a cop came by yesterday...

asking questions about a Prince

who's disappeared from sight.

Now, you wouldn't know him, would you?

Now I remember.

It was you, Dima. It was you.

I saw you standing with that tall

man with the funny cape.

And he had a dog as big as a horse.

So, it was you. It was you.

Then you both disappeared.

That for me?

Here. I'll take it. I'll take it!

-Youth fades...

-It was him.

Help the blind!

No! No No! No! No!

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Science will never admit

itself defeated!

And if I am here today, it is

to present to you...

the greatest invention of all time:

Dorikill!

The Anti-Potato Bug Powder.

In French:
Pomme de terre!

In German:
Kartoffel!

The Potato Bug might seem to be

a small, insignificant insect.

The uninitiated might be fooled...

...and mistake him for one of

God's humble creatures.

What a tragic error!

Ladies and gentlemen, the insect

and God never met!

They have nothing in common.

And totally ignore one another's

existence.

The Potato Bug is a monster...

...and the Devil's own creation!

You!

I can read your mind.

It seems totally harmless to you.

But watch!

It takes only a few days...

...for this harmless, potato

eating abomination...

...to annihilate the fruit

of years of labor!

But fear not!

Bravo!

Introducing Colonel Heywood,

the World's Smallest Colonel!

Here to show us the efficiency

of Dorikill!

Get your Dorikill, ladies and

gentlemen! Get your Dorikill!

It's a unique secret formula!

It's a volcanic powder matured

in the very bowels of the Earth!

Get your Dorikill here! You'll

never find anything like it!

It's here! For you! Now!

Ladies and Gentlem...

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Hey...

My name is Dima.

-Pleased to meet you, Dima.

Can I give you a hand? Can I carry this?

That's very kind of you.

Don't drop it, or they'll fire me.

Follow me.

My Victrola!

He stole my Victrola! Thief! Thief!

I will never forget the day

you got lost down here.

After all these years, only a miracle

could bring you back alive now.

There is an obsolete word

called "faith".

Faith, Meleagre! And

the miracle of love.

Where's that fool, Dima?

I need a pint of beer!

Ahoy, matey! Shipwrecked, I see.

-Damn you!

A victim of another maritime disaster.

Out goes the bad air.

In goes the good air.

I've warned you to keep an

eye on those water levels.

Out goes the bad air.

In goes the good air...

Get off me, you vacantless fool!

Fear not! I shall never reprimand

nor harm you again. I forgive you.

May the fleas from a thousand

camels infest your armpits!

Crescendo, Dima, crescendo!

For today is a day of Revelation!

-A good day to die!

Let go of me!

Mystery is not death.

My friend...

It was here, in the depths of the

sewers, the revelation came to me!

Let us forget our quarrels of the past!

Let us rejoice!

For now Meleagre's here to steer you on!

So that you in turn may

steer the world...

...out of the greatest deluge

ever known!

I don't want to steer you anywhere

And you? You're going to steer me?

You're scared out of your

pants when you piss!

You have no gratitude, see.

No gratitude!

Who brought you down here,

you and your real dog?

Who found you shelter?

I did!

Who brings food everyday?

Dima does! Dima!

You understand nothing!

Into the abysmal pit must you fall

before you see the abysmal blue.

For a soul, my friend, has been

given... even unto you!

Oh, Moon!

In the wanton hours of

your silent towers...

...and the stillness of the

heavenly power.

Moon...

Crouch at my side and let

me weep my laughter!

I'm dreaming of a Moon!

Warmness glowing.

The huge black moon in

the white, bright sky.

Why...? Why...?

Take them! Wake up! C'mon!

Come... Come!

Swine!

Pig! Leech! Abusing a woman!

Somebody come and help her!

Come and help her, somebody!

Hey! Hey!

I'll get you for this!

Dima, you bastard!

No!

Ambrosia, my beauty!

Shalom Aleichem, my friend!

-How are you, tonight?

I have a little gift for you.

For your collection!

Put it back!

Go ahead. Chew it, enjoy it.

It's your last!

Yeah, that's it. Choke!

I have money. Wait!

A glass of Beaujolais and

one firm Havana cigar!

A man of means.

The Prince inherited his uncle's wealth.

And you have come to settle

his bill with a twenty.

I've already got this 20,

and the 148 you owe me.

Plus another 10 for these tidbits.

Well, I'm not doing too well, am I?

-Consider it as a long-term investment.

Investment? I lose my money by

you and your fairy tales...

...faster than steam evaporates.

Now, what you need is a job, like the

guy in the back there, washing dishes.

-I don't wash dishes. We have

kitchen help. -Sure you do.

If you were smart, you'd get a freighter

and get the hell out of here.

Be smart, Dima. There's a boat leaving

for Singapore from Port Bay on Friday.

They're looking for another galley-man.

The Captain's a personal friend of mine.

I'll tell him about you!

This way. Don't be shy.

C'mon, dance! C'mon!

Take a seat.

Hello. -Colonel Heywood,

what are you having?

Well... two beaujos, please.

Do you know a regular of this

cafe whose name is Dima?

Dima? He's over there.

Dima? My Victrola!

Dima!

Thief! You stole my Victrola!

Dima! Thief! Come back!

He stole my Victrola!

-Give me the bottle, Tiger Lily!

-Such manners!

-She expects manners from

a pig like me? -Unbelievable!

Both of you! All of you...

Listen! When I played on the stage...

Everyone showed respect.

Everyone showed manners.

I stood there...

The light shining in my face.

Bowing to a thousand people.

And on the morning and

evening of the sixth day...

God created man in his own image.

Male and female, created he them.

And behold, it was very good!

Very good.

Come back! Dima! My Victrola!

I dont' want to be chased!

Do you think I'm a mouse?

Dima, you thieving bastard!

I'll get you, you bastard! I'll get you!

Come back, you swine!

You thief! You bastard!

Come and help me!

Quick! C'mon!

My Victrola! Stop him, please!

He stole my Victrola!

All the king's horses,

and all the king's men...

...couldn't put the tiny twat

together again!

Please! Please!

No! No!

Come on!

-Stop it! Stop it! Everyone of you!

-Beat the sh*t out of him!

You silly old bat!

Come on, Darling. Come on, Lily.

Well done, Lily!

-Poor little friend...

Poor little friend...

You know something, little one?

Of all the roles I ever played...

...the only one I never got

right was my dying scene...

...in King Lear.

Pray you, undo this button.

Thank you, sir.

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