The Ranch Page #6

---

and still be a good mother.

You know?

And I could still be a good influence on her.

What an idiot.

You must be doing something right.

Chelsea's crazy about you.

She talks about you all the time.

Yeah? Does she say

that her mother's a stupid whore?

Yes, I'm back.

I just wanna thank the Academy

for this great honor.

Girl, I'm glad you're staying.

We need more sisters around here.

Thank you, baby.

I won't forget what you did.

-What do you think, Boris?

-Nice. Sexy.

Very sexy. Does it push my rack up enough?

-I get you a smaller size.

-Thanks.

-Well?

-Pretty.

-Did you ask her yet?

-No, but I will now.

Good.

Rickie Lee.

We're taking up a collection to help Austin

get back on his feet.

-You heard about the fire, right?

-Yeah.

Each of us is going to do a trick

for him today. How about it, you in?

Sure, I'll just pull a rabbit out of my skirt.

Forget I even asked.

-Smaller size.

-Thanks.

Boris, did you get those saddle shoes

I asked you for?

You said you'd get them for me this week.

-lnside the truck, I'll check.

-Thank you.

Selfish witch.

You got something to say to me, Emily,

say it.

You won't give any money for Austin,

but you'll spend it on that sick little-girl act.

You think I give a damn?

You think I give a damn

what you think of me?

I don't think you give a damn about

anything or anybody...

except those sleazeballs

you're so busy getting off.

-Listen, wart-face--

-I'll kill you.

Emily, stop it!

Let me tell you something.

If some loser wants to do a little girl...

I'd just as soon it be me

and not his 10-year-old daughter.

-Sure I can't get you anything else?

-I'm good.

The usual.

-You looking to party?

-I'm waiting for Emily.

-I'm better.

-I'm gay.

I've got a Cub Scout uniform I could wear

if that would do it for you.

No, thanks.

For somebody who doesn't sleep with girls,

you spend a lot of time at a whorehouse.

-What?

-One of the singers in the show...

at the Hilton,

they're doing this '60s revival thing....

Janis Joplin girl got strep. My uncle

heard your tape, he wants you to audition.

-Get out of here.

-It's only temporary--

-ls this for real?

-Yeah.

Get out of here. Oh, my. I love you.

-What's going on?

-I got an audition, singing, in Reno.

That's fantastic.

Here we go.

To Emily.

To Emily.

I, Shayna, take you, Evan,

to be my husband.

To have and to hold from this day forward.

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer.

In sickness and in health, to love

and to cherish, until death do us part.

Before God and

in the presence of this congregation...

Evan and Shayna have made

their solemn vows to each other.

Therefore, I proclaim that they are now

husband and wife.

Evan, you may kiss your bride.

-What are you doing?

-Living vicariously.

Here.

Give it a shot.

You ready?

You're not going to hurt it.

Attagirl.

You don't like it much here, do you?

I don't know. Not yet. Getting there.

I love it here. Men do me,

and then they pay me, it's unbelievable.

You can make an ugly guy feel handsome.

You can make an old guy feel young.

And the money. Oh, man.

Hookers make pretty much

the same hourly rate that lawyers do.

-I mean, beat that with a stick.

-Taylor, why are you telling me all this?

Because I have to leave.

Peter? Chels?

No.

Oh, my.

Oh, my. That son of a b*tch.

Hello, Diamond Ranch.

No, I'm sorry.

She doesn't work here anymore.

I know.

But if you come in,

we have a number of very beautiful girls...

and I'm sure you'll find someone

you can be satisfied with. Okay.

Aren't you going to congratulate the bride?

Oh, Shayna.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes