The Real McCoy

Freeze! Stand back,

or we'll fire!

Don't move!

- All right! Be good now!

- Unlock!

McCoy. A-4-2-7-1?

One wallet, leather.

Pair of sunglasses,

Ray Bans.

One pack of gum,

sugarless.

One condom.

- Ribbed?

- Guess I was ahead of my time.

- Where'd ya get on, Savannah?

- Athens.

Athens. Is that right?

Pretty little place,

Athens.

Uh, headin'

to Atlanta, huh?

- Uh-huh.

- You work there?

- Used to.

- Doin' what?

I robbed banks.

Robbed banks.

Excuse me.

- So if anybody wants...

to jump in and grab 'em

before they're gone...

- The men's three-diamond ring...

- Hello?

- Is Roy there?

- Well, who's calling?

Karen.

Karen who?

Karen McCoy.

Roy. It's your ex.

Karen?

Karen?

Don't sound so scared, Roy.

- Where are you?

- I'm downtown at the train station.

What'd you do, escape?

- I'm on parole.

- Oh, Christ.

Look, I gotta get my stuff. All I've got

is the suit I went to court in.

Well, uh, I don't want

you comin' to the house.

- I'll just meet you at Mario's.

- What?

- Mario's at 4:
00!

- Okay. Tomorrow, 4:00?

- Yeah. 4:
00.

- Roy?

How's Patrick?

Thanks.

Okay, everybody hit the floor!

This is a stickup!

Oh! Oh!

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Just step to the side, please.

- All right, gimme all your money.

- I can't do that.

- Why not?

- I haven't got the key.

- Well, get the key.

- I can't.

- Why not?

- The manager's got it.

- Well, get the manager.

- I can't. He went home.

Shut up!

Okay, Mr. Smarty-pants.

- This is a gun.

Okay, hang on!

Don't blow it.

- Okay.

- Where did you want your new a**hole?

I'm Gary Buckner. I been appointed

by the State to supervise your parole.

Why didn't you call me when

you came in last night?

Well, it was late. I knew

I would be seeing you today...

- so I didn't think that you would...

- Wait a minute.

You didn't think?

I think that you don't understand...

- what being on parole really means.

- Mr. Buckner...

I'm the boss

is what it means.

You say somethin' I don't like, I'm

gonna throw your butt back in the can.

You do somethin' I don't like, I'm gonna

throw your butt back in the can.

You don't report, I'm gonna

throw your butt back in the can.

You don't call, your butt is back in the

can. You violate your parole in any way,

you are back in the can,

do you understand me?

Karen, I really

want to be friends.

But it's gonna take

cooperation.

Now what are you gonna do to cooperate

with the State of Georgia?

I'd like to get a job...

- and find a place to live.

- Mm-hmm.

Well, first, you're gonna have to spend

a month in that halfway house.

Mr. Buckner, I spent

six years in prison.

I've got a son who doesn't even know me.

I need my own place to live.

What can I tell ya?

- Couldn't you just give me a break?

- No, ma'am.

I can't give breaks. You gotta earn 'em,

but I'll tell you what, Karen.

You keep that pretty little figure

of yours, get yourself a job...

and do exactly what your

parole officer tells you,

and I'll let you out of that

halfway house, okay? Okay.

Oh, uh, Karen?

One more thing.

You stay out of them damn

banks, now you hear me?

Frankly, I agree,

but I've changed.

- Oh, thanks.

- Just don't let me down, J.T.

- Straight like an arrow, Mel.

- Right.

- Who the hell is that?

- She was released yesterday.

Mac somethin'... McDonald, McCoy.

Karen McCoy.

The Karen McCoy?

See ya.

Hey! Hey!

Uh, wait a minute.

Excuse me. Are you

who I think you are?

You are.

I can't believe it.

- Me neither.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Uh, J.T. Barker.

What do you want,

my handbag?

Listen, I'm your biggest fan.

Can I ask you a question?

- That Atlanta job,

that bank you did in '84...

- J.T.? Is that what it is?

- I'm in a hurry if you don't mind.

- Where did you hide all that dirt?

Hey, wait up, now.

One more question now.

That '85 job you did,

that First National...

- where you filled all

them alarms with foam?

- I've got a bus to catch.

- I know, I know... A trade secret.

- I'm really sorry, okay?

- Hey! Hey! Sh*t!

- Hey, listen.

I can give you a ride.

My car's right here.

- Is it true you never carry?

- Excuse me?

- A rod?

A heater? The difference.

A piece.

- You know, a gun?

- I didn't need a gun.

I robbed banks when

nobody was in them.

Nobody was in them.

That's great.

"I robbed banks when

nobody was in them."

Geez. Hey, you know,

I'm a first-class driver, Miss McCoy.

You get ready for your next job,

will you keep me in mind? Miss McCoy?

- Stop the car.

- Oh, I'm talkin' too much, aren't I?

Listen, you don't have

to get out. I'll shut up.

This is where I'm going.

Thanks for the ride.

Hey, you want to get

together sometime, have dinner?

- You like hot stuff... Uh, spicy food?

- I'll call you. Thanks.

Okay.

Hey, you don't have

my number!

Just, uh, one question

on your form.

Previous occupation?

You left it blank.

Uh, yes, ma'am. I just really

didn't know what to put.

Self-employed?

Armed services?

Um, Athens Correctional

Facility for Women.

I was a convict.

I'm sorry, Miss McCoy.

The company has a policy about this.

Okay. Thank you.

- I'm sorry.

- No, that's okay. Thank you.

Uh, the position involves

handling cash, honey.

We just don't feel like it'd be

appropriate in the circumstances.

Um, the thing is...

Well, I really don't know

that I can...

Ma'am, I really

need this job.

Well...

why don't I just put

self-employed?

Thank you so much.

Love Connection!

And now here's our host

Chuck Woolery!

Where have you been?

Oh, there's no way...

a friend of mine is gonna

live in no halfway house.

Come on,

let's get your stuff.

This is it.

I, uh, got 'em to throw in

the linen for free,

and there's gonna be

a mini-fridge here and a microwave.

What, you don't like it?

- You don't like it.

- No, l-l...

Oh, you're worryin' about what that

parole officer of yours is gonna say?

No. Buckner said

I could move if I got a job.

Uh...

Well, good.

This is, uh, my address

in an emergency,

and, uh, that's just

temporary, but...

And you'll have a phone,

uh, sometime next week...

so I guess I'll, uh...

see you tomorrow?

Thanks. No, really.

- You took it as a personal loan?

- It's my business.

That's the premiums

on your staff's medical plan.

Aw, screw

the damn staff, man.

- If they'd sell more,

I wouldn't be squeezed.

- That's no way to run a business.

You got no receipts here,

your cashbook won't balance,

and you haven't filed for two years.

What am I suppose

to tell the I.R.S.?

- There's a woman here to see ya, Roy.

- Well, I'm busy.

- She says it's important.

- Aw, Christ!

- Roy...

- Look, just think of somethin',

Jerry, all right?

That's what

I pay you for.

Oh, Karen.

- I waited an hour.

- Sh*t, I'm sorry. Uh...

- Guess you got tied up, huh?

Sh*t, you look great.

- Kept your figure.

- Just get my stuff, okay?

Come on.

- Can I go and get Dad, Cheryl?

- No, Patrick. Stay in the car.

- Can I go get a soda, Cheryl?

- No. I told you. Don't call me Cheryl.

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