The Return of the Pink Panther

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This way, please.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this way, please.

Follow me.

Down there, please.

Thank you.

From the dynasty

of Akbar the Magnificent,

and for over a thousand years

our nation's religious symbol,

the Pink Panther.

Largest and most famous

diamond in the world.

Irreplaceable.

Its value

cannot be estimated

in terms of money.

Isn't the museum worried

that someone might steal it?

The Pink Panther

is protected.

And by forces

more impenetrable

than any army.

Observe.

Deactivate.

Failing the radar shield,

the slightest release

of pressure in the weight

of the diamond...

and the would-be thief

is a prisoner.

A prisoner of

the Pink Panther.

Why is it called

the Pink Panther?

The stone is flawed.

If it is held up to the light

in a certain way,

the figure of a springing

panther can be seen clearly.

Good morning, sir.

Sit.

My department has already

begun rounding up suspects.

His Majesty has been

informed of the theft.

He is flying home...

from Washington.

I expect an arrest

any moment now.

I do not share your optimism.

We know the culprit is

still within our borders.

All the airports...

and railways stations

are being watched.

While your men are

searching for this man

with the Dutch passport,

he has undoubtedly

thrown away his passport

and is making ready...

to leave the country

under a new identity.

When we find the

fingerprints-

If you find the

fingerprints-

You are both in trouble.

But-

But if we-

Do what is necessary...

and conventional.

I am calling in outside help.

The famous French detective

who recovered the Pink Panther

the last time it was stolen.

What was his name?

Clouseau.

Inspector Clouseau.

You have a license?

Monsieur?

City ordinance 47 B

prohibits the playing...

of any musical instrument

in a public place...

for the purpose of

commercial enterprise

without a license.

- I don't understand.

- It is against the "leau"...

- for you to play your

musical instrument.

- The "leau"?

- What?

- You say it's against

the "leau"?

- Yes, unless you have

a proper license.

- What kind of license?

A license that permits

the playing of any

musical instrument...

in a public place

for the purpose of

commercial enterprise.

Commercial enterprise?

Yes. You play that thing and

people give you the money.

People give

the monkey the money.

- It is the same.

- Oh, not at all, monsieur.

I am a musician, and

the monkey is a businessman.

He doesn't tell me what to play,

and I don't tell him

what to do with his money.

Monsieur, don't try

to be funny with me.

He is your monkey,

therefore it is your money.

He lives with me,

but he is not my monkey.

One day I came home,

and I found him sitting

in the living room.

I let him stay,

but he pays for

his own room and board.

Then the monkey's

breaking the law.

But he doesn't play

any musical instrument.

City ordinance 132R

prohibits the begging.

How do you know so much

about the city ordinances?

What sort of stupid

question is that?

Are you blind?

Yes.

Oh, I see. Yes, yes.

Yes, of course.

Well, you happen to be

talking to a police officer.

And because I expect

to be transferred...

back to the detective

division at any moment,

I will let you off this time

with just a warning.

Thank you, monsieur l'agent.

But you must get yourself

a proper license.

- First thing tomorrow.

- Try to do something

about your filthy monkey.

Oh, one moment.

Allez, allez.

Over there!

Arrtez. Arrt-

- Idiot.

- How was I to know

he was the bank manager?

- How were you to know

the bank was being robbed?

- That is correct.

What is correct?

I did not know...

the bank was being robbed

because I was engaged

in my sworn duty...

as a police officer.

You didn't even

arrest the old beggar.

There was some question as to

whether the beggar or his "minkey"

was breaking the law.

- "Minkey"?

- What?

- You said "minkey."

- That is correct, yes.

Chimpanzee monkey.

So I let them both off

with a warning.

The beggar was

the lookout man for the gang.

- That is impossible.

- Why?

He was blind. How can

a blind man be a lookout?

How can an idiot be a policeman?

Answer me that.

It's very simple.

All he has to do is enlist.

Shut up.

- How do you know he was blind?

- Because he told me so.

Oh, he told you so?

And you believed him?

I had no reason to doubt him.

Do you believe me if I tell you

that I am not going to get you

suspended for six months?

Do you believe me?

If you say so,

sir. Yes.

Because I'm a bigger liar

than the beggar.

You are suspended

for six months without pay.

Six months?

Effective immediately.

Have you anything to say?

Could you lend me

I-

Will you get out?

Out of my sight!

Yes.

Idiot.

My blood pressure.

Idiot.

One day, Francois.

One day I'll be rid

of him forever.

That'll be the day.

- Something on your mind?

- An order from the commissioner.

- Oh, yes?

- It concerns Clouseau.

- Yes, go on.

- He's to be reinstated

as an inspector.

What? You can't be serious.

And he's to report immediately

to Colonel... Sharki in Lugash.

I see.

- Sir.

- What? It's a birthday

gift from my wife.

Most realistic.

Get me the commissioner.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus

calling. Hmm.

The commissioner.

Commissioner, I've just

received your instructions...

to send, uh,

Clouseau to Lugash.

But, you see, he's

no longer with the Suret.

I've just given him-

Yes, but-

Yes, but since France

and Lugash have been allies

for nearly 200 years,

it might be a serious mistake

to send someone who is-

I see. Yes, of course.

Very good, Commissioner.

It seems the Shah of Lugash

telephoned the president

personally,

and asked for Clouseau

to be assigned to the case.

The Shah of Lugash.

- Incredible.

- All right, Francois.

The Shah of Lugash.

It seems the army are determined

to prevent renewed fighting...

between shoppers

and market traders,

by sealing the area

around the president's palace.

Supplies for the palace

had to be brought through-

Oh, good evening,

Madame Van Gogh.

Good evening. I was just reading

the headlines in your newspaper.

Opposition newspapers-

Good evening.

Cato?

Cato.

Monsieur Clouseau's residence.

One moment, please.

For you. Chief Inspector Dreyfus.

Yes, sir?

You're back on the force.

Come to my office.

Immediately!

Immediately, sir.

Well, Cato,

I am back on the force.

You know, Cato,

your freezer ambush ploy-

I really congratulate you.

It was very, very good.

But, Cato,

your fly is undone.

And so, my friend, are you.

Yes, my little

yellow friend,

I knew the chief would

have to reconsider.

He did not get

where he is by ignoring

a man's qualifications.

He knows that I am unique,

and therefore indispensable.

We are much the same,

the chief and I.

But of course, Cato,

all great detectives

have one thing in common.

And you know

what that is?

Instinct.

That rare ability...

to know immediately without

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