The Return of the Pink Panther Page #2

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having to stop and reason.

And in my business, it can

easily mean the difference

between life and death.

All right, I'll get it.

Ah, thank you.

Yes, that split-second timing

when instinct tells you...

that-

A new wave of assassinations.

An opposition spokesman

has categorically denied-

I tell you,

infamous powers are at work.

The instant you assign me

to a case, the underworld hears

about it, and I am set upon.

Cato is in hospital.

They nearly blew his little

yellow skin off. It is amazing

that I am still alive.

Amazing is not the word.

Do I detect something

in your voice that says

I am in disfavor with you?

Yes. I wish you were dead.

Well, of course you are

entitled to your opinion.

And you are not.

Out. Out of my sight.

You want me to leave?

If you are not out of this room

in five seconds, I shall not be

responsible for my actions.

Five seconds is nothing. I can

easily be out of here in three.

But if you really

want me to leave-

I've had enough!

Oh, thank you very much.

Hmm, a very amusing,

clever, little gadget.

Very realistic.

But, of course, my

instinct told me that, uh-

Something the matter?

You're not feeling well?

It's my blood pressure.

I'll just take my pill.

You're killing me.

Yes. Perhaps some water.

Yeah.

Fool.

You have a defective carafe.

Allow me to blot you.

I will blot you.

Idiot.

I had an aunt who suffered

from high blood pressure.

She was attended

successfully by

Dr. August Balls of Nice.

And after he had attended

her for several weeks, she-

Obviously out of fluid.

Perhaps you would like me

to fill it for you.

No, just-just-

Please, just go away.

Yes. Well,

all right, Inspector.

I will leave,

but remember,

I will be at your service

night or day.

Of course, I will be

on assignment in Lugash.

Unfortunately,

there is, I believe,

some difference in time.

My watch seems to have stopped.

Probably due to the explosion.

You need a new flint.

Well, Chief Inspector,

until we meet again,

and the case is "solv-ved."

Case is "solv-ved."

Idiot.

Don't just stand there,

idiot. Call a doctor.

And then help me

find my nose.

Inspector.

Very interesting museum

you have here.

Inspector-

Please, tell me nothing.

I prefer to investigate

the scene of the crime

spontaneously.

That way it gives

my trained instincts

full rein, you know.

But our security measures-

I'm sure your security

measures are very good.

But-

obviously not good enough.

Let me see-

Yes, very effective.

Very effective indeed.

The element of surprise.

Of course,

I knew it was going to

happen all the time.

But nevertheless,

the element of surprise.

Oh, how very kind of you

to welcome me.

Is there any way of getting in

and out of this place without

this happening all the time?

Deactivate.

Deactivate

the door.

Yes.

Oh.

Ugh, so we meet again.

- Very ingenious.

- He pulled himself

across the floor.

- He did?

- How else could he avoid

the radar field?

Yes, how else? Hmm.

Of course, he would need

a very slippery floor to do that.

- Therefore, the wax.

- The wax?

Are you, uh, all right?

Of course I am all right.

I'm examining the wax.

Have you taken a sample

of this wax?

Wax is wax.

Oh, this is where you are wrong.

Wax is not just wax.

In this case it is a clue.

English wax, French wax,

domestic wax.

The inspector is right.

Have the wax tested

immediately.

It is my guess

that you will find

it is English wax.

Why?

Because your thief

is an Englishman.

How do you know that?

It is my business

to know that.

He is Sir Charles Phantom,

the notorious Litton.

The Phantom?

Yes, one and the same.

His calling card.

Four years ago,

Sir Charles suddenly vanished.

It was rumored

throughout the underworld,

he'd given up his life of crime.

But my instinct told me he would

not remain in hiding for long.

Four years is not long?

Time is not the issue here.

This glove is the issue here.

And it signifies

the Phantom is up to

his old tricks.

But I will catch him

and root him out.

It won't be easy.

He's a master of disguise.

And undoubtedly he has

gone back into hiding

until the heat is off.

How is he?

Unlovable.

Has he seen it?

No. I thought you'd

like to show it to him.

How was Paris?

Expensive.

Good.

Buy anything foolish?

Lots.

How have you been?

Splendid. Fantastic.

I have created something,

oh, something absolutely

extraordinary since breakfast.

Oh, can I see?

No, no, no. Not yet.

Please, come on.

Don't be silly.

No. The impact will be too strong.

Let me see, please?

Well, all right.

There you go.

How about that?

Hmm.

You know what?

What?

I think I came back

just in time.

Damn.

What, darling?

Listen to this.

"Police today were conducting

a house to house search

of Lugash for the thief...

"who Monday night stole the

fabled Pink Panther diamond...

"from the Royal Museum here.

"According to authorities

the only clue is a white

monogrammed man's glove...

with the initial 'P'."

Well, what do you think?

That you didn't spend your time

just painting during my absence.

Oh. You think

I had something to do

with the robbery?

Didn't you?

You little beast.

Three- No.

Four years ago

I swore to you

that I was retired.

I've been faithful

to you ever since.

In your fashion.

What the hell

does that mean?

That you're being teased.

I believe you, darling.

But you must admit it does

sound like the kind of job only

the Phantom could have done.

I mean, the Pink Panther.

No clues except your

well-known calling card.

Yes, I must admit the impostor-

Very clever.

Very clever, indeed.

I'm surprised that half

the police force of France

hasn't descended on us by now.

But of course they will.

Without a doubt.

But if you're innocent?

Look, darling,

I'm not only innocent,

but I'm still smart enough

that if I decided to

get back in the business,

I would not leave my calling card

announcing the fact.

No, but will the police

think of that?

- No.

- But you can convince them.

Not unless

the real thief was caught.

But then you're lost.

If the police think

that you're the real thief,

then who will catch

the impostor?

Hmm?

Well, I- I can only think of

one person really. Can't you?

Charles.

Since the alternative

is prison, I don't have

very much choice, do I?

I'm frightened. This impostor's

obviously very clever.

It could be dangerous.

Oh, darling.

Not to worry.

Trust me.

I may be a bit rusty,

but I'm perfectly capable

of taking care of myself.

I congratulate you, Chief,

on your excellent facilities.

Of course you understand

that my visit here must be

of the utmost secrecy?

Of course. My department

will do everything possible

to assist you.

However, there is

one question...

that only you can answer.

Oui?

Does Sir Charles Litton

have a swimming "peul"?

A swimming "peul"?

Back before you know it.

Take care.

Now what identity

will you travel under?

Well, I shall be, uh,

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