The Return of the Pink Panther Page #3

---

dreary old

Sir Charles Litton

leaving the country-

and, um,

fearless, dashing,

young Dr. Marvin Tanney...

arriving in Lugash.

Hmm.

Watch it!

I have the report here.

Someone has trifled

with your brakes.

The underworld

will stop at nothing.

This is the second

attempt on my life.

I may have caught

my death of pneumon-

Gesundheit.

I have fixed your doorbell

from the ringing.

There is no charge.

Thank you.

What do you want?

I am from a telephone company.

There is something the matter

with your "pheun."

My "pheun"?

What?

You said there's something

the matter with my "pheun."

Yes.

My "phone"?

That is correct, yes.

That is what I've been saying.

There's no trouble with

the telephones here.

I know when there is trouble

and when there is not trouble.

And I can definitely tell you

that there is trouble.

You may rest assured of that.

Since when?

Since it was reported.

I see.

What is the trouble

with the telephone?

If I knew that I could simply

call you up and tell you

what the trouble is.

What's the trouble?

This man says we have trouble

with our telephones.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am Emile Flournoy,

communications expert

and chief troubleshooter

for the Nice telephone company.

Oh, please come in,

monsieur.

Now what can we do

to help you?

Which is your nearest phone?

- There.

- What? Ah, yes.

Hmm. Yes.

This phone will not do at all.

Show me another phone.

It won't do at all, I'm afraid.

Show Monsieur Flou-

Flournoy.

Flournoy the telephone

in Sir Charles's study.

I hope you locate

the trouble, monsieur.

Madame, it is my business

to locate trouble.

No trouble back there.

If you require anything-

Monsieur, all I require is a phone,

my little bag of tools,

and some privacy

in which to work.

That is all I require.

Take that phone, but don't

pick it up until I tell you.

Raymond?

S.

I'm taking the 5:00

plane to Switzerland.

Have you got that?

S. Switzerland.

Have you got

the merchandise?

S.

Good. I'll see you

tomorrow...

at the Palace Hotel

in Gstaad.

- S.

- Good-bye.

S. Good-bye.

Inspector?

Do not come in.

Do not come in.

I am making final delicate

adjustments to the phone.

I will tell you when

it is safe to enter.

These adjustments must not be

interfered with, you know.

Do not come in.

I am just putting my tools away.

As I surmised, a slight

malfunction with your phone...

which I have repaired.

Well, I must now

return to my office and

report my adjustments.

According to the

authorities in Nice,

he has so far demolished

one swimming pool

and two trucks.

And he's on his way

to Gstaad.

Gstaad?

Yes. Today, a paradise

in the Swiss Alps,

tomorrow, a wasteland.

Compared to Clouseau,

Attila the Hun was

a Red Cross volunteer.

- Careful.

- Huh?

I put the real one

in the bottom drawer. See?

Follow that car.

Good day, Lady Litton.

Oh. So nice

to have you back again.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Yes?

Do you know the way

to the Palace Hotel?

Yes.

Bag, sir?

No, thank you.

This bag never leaves my hand.

Your bag, sir.

Thank you.

Scuse, signore.

May I take your coat?

Thank you very much.

Your gloves?

Of course.

Your hat?

Hmm.

Grazie, signore.

Prego.

Oui, monsieur?

- Do you have a "reum"?

- A "reum"?

- What?

- You said, do I have a "reum"?

I know perfectly well

what I said. I said,

do you have a "reum"?

You mean,

do I have a "room"?

That is what I have been

saying, you fool.

Do you have a reservation?

I am Inspector Clouseau

of the Suret,

and I am here on

official police business.

Whether you're here on official

police business or not,

this is the height of the season

and the hotel is full.

Listen, my friend.

This is a matter

of national importance.

And if you continue

to be difficult with me,

I shall have

no alternative but to have

speaks with my superiors.

Well,

in that case, monsieur,

we do have a "reum."

I thought as much.

Lugash Airways

announce the arrival...

of Flight 12

from Paris and Nice.

Passengers wishing to travel

to the city terminal by bus...

should proceed to

the Lugash Transport Council.

The nature of your visit

to Lugash, Dr. Tanney,

is it business or pleasure?

Purely pleasure.

Next?

Incoming passengers

are reminded...

they should retain

the white card,

as this must be surrendered

to Lugash authorities

before departure.

The loss of this card

may cause considerable delays.

Have my bags sent up to

my room like a good fellow.

How are you, Pepi?

Ah, what a surprise.

Sir Charles Litton,

isn't it?

Not necessarily.

Un Cognac,

s'il vous plat.

Well, where do I, um,

find the Fat Man?

I have not- I have not

seen the Fat Man in years.

Really?

If you are not working

for the Fat Man, then, um,

who are you working for?

I-You're

breaking my finger.

Why don't you

call a policeman?

All right, all right.

You can find the Fat Man

at the Salamander.

Thank you, Pepi.

Why don't you, um,

order yourself

some liniment...

on the rocks?

Well, Charles.

Well, my old friend.

It's good to see you.

Come, sit down.

I really missed seeing you.

You look wonderful.

What can I do for you?

Well, I- I need

a favor from you, old man.

Of course. But first,

I need your help.

And my two associates-

They're here to guard

the Pink Panther.

When you've finished

your drink, you will

hand it over, please.

- But I haven't got it.

But you took it.

Oh, I wish I had, truly.

But I didn't, I swear it.

Normally, I'm a man

who detests violence,

but in your case...

I'm forced to make a most

regrettable exception.

Would it upset you too much

to explain why?

Under the pretense of trying

to catch the thief,

the general is hurting

many innocent people...

and a group

of my very good friends.

If I give him the thief,

he'll have to stop hurting them.

Of course, if you didn't

steal the Panther,

one might almost conclude

that the general, in order to get

rid of his political enemies,

- engineered the robbery himself.

- Oh, I bet he even offered a reward.

- A considerable reward, dead-

- Or alive.

- And if you are dead-

- I can't prove I didn't

steal the Pink Panther.

I knew you'd figure it out.

Deliver the body

to the general

with my compliments.

I'm awfully sorry,

old boy.

Well, you know the old saying,

"With friends like you,

who needs enemies."

All, all, all!

Good evening, Dr. Tanney.

Good evening.

I am Colonel Sharki.

Oh, yes.

I thought we might be

running into one another,

sooner or later.

I, uh-

I need your help.

Now, Colonel Sharki,

what could

a simple doctor do...

to help the head

of the Lugash Secret Police?

A simple doctor,

nothing.

But the notorious Phantom,

oh, he could do quite a bit.

For instance?

I want your cooperation in, uh,

recovering the Pink Panther.

The Fat Man seems to think

you cooked up this robbery...

as an excuse to...

do a little political

housecleaning.

The Fat Man is not the

only one with that opinion.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes