The Revenant Page #6

and free all people.

But you ain't gonna see that freedom

because you're gonna be a casualty

of the anarchy

that brings it into being!

And the f***ing slope goes first.

No. Don't, don't. I don't wanna die.

Don't, don't, don't shoot me, please.

What the f*** is with that sh*t?

I think he fainted.

Fainted?

(CLERK WHIMPERS)

Shut the f*** up, gook!

I said, Shut the f*** up!

Alright, say goodbye, motherf***er.

Don't, man.

No, don't kill me. Don't kill me.

F***! F***! Oh!

F***, f***.

You wanna be a f***ing hero?

I don't wanna die. Sh*t!

Oh, f***, f***. I don't wanna die.

(PHONE RINGS)

(COUGHS)

Oh, f***.

Oh, f***. Oh, sh*t.

(GROANS)

(PHONE RINGS) He was shot.

(BLABBERS)

Dude, what happened, dude?

What the f***?

Oh, I got...l got shot.

Oh, hurting.

(MUTTERS)

F***ing Jesus, it hurts.

You should see your chest. Is it OK?

(PHONE RINGS) Is it real?

Oh, f***. What the f*** happened?

What? I don't get it.

He's dead.

Yeah?

F*** you. I say, F*** you.

Yeah.

That teaches you to f*** with me.

Yeah, baby.

Yeah, I can't...

I can't talk right now, OK?

Yeah, I'm just too busy.

CLERK:
A**hole! F***ing a**hole.

I'm too busy to tell you

why I'm busy.

CLERK:
Teach you to f*** with me.

OK? I gotta go.

OK, I'll talk to you later.

Martin Luther King

is rolling in his grave.

Yeah, I will.

You a**hole.

You're a disgrace to the black man.

OK. OK, gotta go.

Don't you f***ing get it, you punk?

OK.

OK, baby. 'Bye.

I don't believe it.

I'm a-f***ing-live, alive! Anything

in the f***ing store you want.

Please, take it, take it.

Anything.

Please, please, here. For free.

Take it, for free.

OK, yeah.

You saved my life!

You saved my life!

Yep.

(BART GRUNTS) Eww.

Whoa.

Bart, look at this f***er.

Look at that sh*t.

You f***ing kidding me?

Oh, score.

Huh?

(SIRENS WAIL DISTANTLY)

Uh-huh.

T-take out $300,

make it f***ing snappy.

M-machine w-won't take my card.

Don't f***ing f*** with me, man.

I want $300 or they're gonna be

wiping up your f***ing frontal lobe

off that machine in the AM.

It-it's not my card. I-I stole it.

It's not mine.

Shut up! You think

I'm f***ing stupid?

I'm gonna count to three...

No, I'm gonna count to five.

Alright? And if I don't have

300 bucks, kaboom, you're dead.

One. Two.

(ATM BEEPS)

Three. Four.

Drop the f***ing gun lickity-f***ing-split.

Move and the geek gets it.

OK.

I'm gonna count to three.

No, I'm gonna count to five.

And if you don't drop the gun, kaboom.

One.

Motherfuck...

WOMAN:
No! Help! Help!

MAN:
Shut up!

(SOBS) Oh, go away. Oh, God, help.

Help me. Somebody, help me.

Shut up!

BART:
I know what you're thinking.

Did he fire six shots or only five?

Well, to tell you the truth,

in all this excitement

I've kinda lost track myself.

But seeing as this is a .44 Magnum,

the the most powerful hand gun

in the world,

would blow your head clean off...

(GUNSHOT)

Oh! Ohh!

Oh, you can't...

(GUNSHOT)

(BART COUGHS)

That's not a .44 Magnum.

(SIGHS)

(HOARSELY) So you've got to

ask yourself a question,

Do I feel lucky?

Well, do ya...punk?

F*** you.

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

How can I ever thank you? (GASPS)

BART:
Well...

Oh, my God, dude.

Holy God. This looks fun.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

(SNIFFS)

Oh, fu...

(GIGGLES)

It smells like pure gasoline.

Are you kidding me?

Oi. What did you say,

little brown rabbit?

NEWS ANCHOR:

..what local law enforcement

is calling a vigilante gunslinger

sends cheers through

the local community.

For the full story

we go to Anita Chung.

Convenient Man owner Marty Kim,

whose business has been plagued

by hate crimes and vandalism

ever since the latest

Laker riots in June,

claims that the gunslingers

saved his life.

My business has been

plagued by crime, yes.

My wife and I can't sleep

without worrying about what's

gonna get broken or stolen

until these gunslinger boys.

REPORTER:
Police say

these men are criminals

and need to be subdued

and prosecuted

before they can strike again.

Will you help the cops

with their investigation?

MARTY KIM:
Why do they

need to be prosecuted?

They saved my life.

How can you explain the fact

that the victims have been found

with all the blood drained

from their bodies?

What blood? I don't see any blood.

Anita Chung, reporting to you live

from Koreatown. Back to you.

Vigilante gunslingers.

How f***ing cool is that, dude?

To protect the innocent,

to serve justice, truth, vengeance,

the American way.

Oh, my God, We're like...

We're like cowboys.

We're like vampire superheroes.

Maybe... I think maybe, like, maybe

you could make me a vampire. Right?

I mean, like, I'll drink your blood or you

drink my blood, you know,

whatever we have to do

to give me the dark gift.

The dark gift?

The dark gift? The dark gift?

The dark gift? The dark gift. Yeah.

(LAUGHS) The dark gift.

The dark gift.

Yeah. Yeah, I could give you

the dark gift. The dark gift.

The dark gift?

Yeah, man, that would be great.

OK, I'm in a happy place.

We're on TV. This is cool. And now

you're shitting on me with sarcasm.

OK? So f*** off. You're a dick.

Say 'dark gift' again.

The dark gift.

You're a child, and now

I'm gonna go masturbate

to pictures of your mom,

which I have.

(SIRENS WAIL)

Go get 'em, tiger.

Go get 'em, daddy.

There you go. Go on.

Oh, that's not good. Oh, God.

Here I come. I'm coming.

Freeze, you f***ers.

(MEN YELL)

(GUNFIRE)

Oh, God. F***.

(JOEY SOBS)

You're OK. You're OK.

Listen, we've just got

to get to the car.

(WHIMPERS) Come on.

(SPLUTTERS) oh, f***.

Oh, f***.

You hang on, buddy.

God!

Hang on, Joey.

You're gonna be OK. OK?

I'm bleeding to death.

You gotta hurry, Bart.

You gotta hurry, man.

Do not think about the pain, buddy.

Don't let me die, Bart.

You stay... I won't let you die.

OK? You stay with me.

Bullets everywhere!

Oh, f***. I'm in trouble, dude.

(GASPS) oh, my God.

I had dreams. I had f***ing...

We had dreams.

We didn't do sh*t.

We didn't do a f***ing thing.

Now it's too late.

It's not over, buddy. it's not over. You're

gonna be fine, alright?

We're gonna get you to the hospital

and get you patched up.

OK? They're gonna fix you right up.

(SPITS)

We're gonna f***ing do everything

we always talked about, man.

We'll make things happen, alright?

(WHIMPERS) Don't leave me.

(MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)

F***! Where's this f***ing hospital?

Are you lost? You can't

find the hospital?

I'm not lost. I'm not lost.

It's right up here on the...

(BUMP!)

F***!

(WEAKLY) I'm gonna die.

BART:
Keep talking.

I'm gonna die in the front seat

of this bullshit car.

Joey, hang on. Joey, hang on.

You f***ing hang on!

Joey? Joey?

(TYRES SQUEAL)

Joey? Joey, don't

do this to me. Joey!

F***.

(BART PANTS)

We gotcha. You're

gonna be just fine.

WOMAN ON TV:
Coming up,

the World Health Organisation

has quarantined

the international terminal at LAX

following criticism that local authorities

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