The Revival Page #3

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and my Crock-Pot, and left.

I didn't know where they

was or what they was doing.

I lost my job because of a DUI.

And then it was just suddenly

me and my double wide.

Couldn't afford the payments

on that after a while,

so I lost that, too.

So, it turns out I was just

passing out drunk every night

on my mama's couch and I

decided that is was either

time to kill myself or change.

So, I got down on

my hands and knees,

and I asked God for hope.

Not help.

Hope.

'Cause if I had that,

I could help myself.

The next day I get a

letter in the mail.

It's from my baby girl.

She's eight years old.

She wanted to come visit me.

So, I got myself cleaned up

and employed at

your daddy's church.

And I'll have you know that

my wife got on drugs real bad

last year and now my

baby girl lives with me.

[Eli] Congratulations.

God saves.

He certainly does.

[Trevor] We're gonna

need changing room tents

for all the chorus members.

You know wat' we gotta

get on right away?

That's Porta Potties.

Those things book out

months in advance.

I just, I'm thinking.

Chairs you don't

need to worry about.

I got that covered.

I got a buddy getting

it from the Moose Hall.

He is gonna get 'em from

the Lion's Club, too.

I was thinking like...

I don't a revival

right now is...

Listen, the staff's already

on board to work overtime.

No, I'm just saying...

And I've already checked on...

Stop interrupting me!

I have been trying

to talk all day

and you just won't

listen, all right?

I am the pastor of

this church, all right?

And I am trying to bring

some progressive thinking,

some sincere faith, to this

town and no one understands me.

My goal, or my hope, is to

show these people how limited

their perception

of God really is.

They go through life

thinking that God wants them

to quit their jobs,

or go on vacation,

or divorce their spouse.

They assume they know what

He is thinking, or worse.

They think that whatever

pops into their minds,

that is what He is thinking.

They have personalized

their god to the point

of becoming their own god.

Okay.

I think I didn't

say that right.

No, I like this.

I like this.

You just spoke with passion.

But, you heard what

I said though, right?

Doesn't matter what you said.

No, it does.

You meant it.

That's what we found, you

meant it and you got mad.

That's what people want.

That's what the board

is gonna respond to.

Sinners in the hand of an

angry god kind of stuff.

You gotta preach

like you can't stop.

Like you'll die if you do.

Like your soul is on fire

and you're gonna burn in Hell

for all eternity if

you don't reach people.

[Aaron On Radio]

Hey, I've sinned.

I've done things I will

regret till my last breath.

Nobody's perfect.

We've all fallen short

of the the glory of God.

There is none righteous.

No, not one.

And you know what?

(slow violin music)

[Daniel] Is this

absolutely necessary?

You gotta look presentable.

[Daniel] Why?

So you can get a job.

[Daniel] Why do I need a job?

So you can pay me rent.

Oh. (laughs)

[Eli] When's the last time

you got your hair cut anyway?

It's been a while.

[Eli] Yeah? (laughs)

My mama used to cut it.

[Eli] Oh, yeah?

She OD'd.

I'm sorry to hear that.

It's all right.

It's not your fault.

(Eli groans)

What?

I just cut myself

a little bit.

You should come to

church on Sunday.

I'm having a great sermon.

So, what happened to faith?

Not understand God.

How not to be when you

don't understand it.

I really think.

We can't.

We can't.

(breathing heavily)

Oh.

(groaning)

(laughing)

Sorry.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

You're so beautiful.

So beautiful.

Shut up.

You are.

Shut up.

You are.

[Aaron On Radio] Some people

say you can't wear shorts.

You can wear shorts.

As long as they

aren't short shorts.

Y'all don't need

me to remind you

it gets hotter than

hell down here.

Shorts are fine.

Here's the deal.

They gotta go down

to your knees.

Hey.

Sorry.

Where were you last night?

I fell asleep

writing my sermon.

I called you.

I know.

I called you like

five times, Eli.

I turned my ringer off

because I didn't want

to be distracted.

I'm sorry.

Hey.

You're a little tense.

Yeah, well.

I didn't sleep very

well last night.

Hey, could we try something?

Can you go out in the living

room and sit on the couch?

No.

I want to do something.

I want to do something.

What about these dishes?

I'll do the dishes.

I'll do 'em.

Just go.

Just go.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Babe, you should be

getting to work by now.

And I've got so much to do.

I've gotta get this

whole house ready

for those women coming over.

What is all this?

You know what this is?

What are you doing?

You're ridiculous.

You know what's ridiculous

is how lucky I am to have you.

(moaning)

(door opens)

Jimmy, can you knock, please?

It's illegal.

What is?

[Jimmy] Marrying your

first cousin in Arkansas.

It's illegal.

Oh.

Sorry to hear that.

Well, what should I do now?

I don't know.

[Jimmy] But,

you're a preacher.

(uptempo violin music)

(coughing)

(people chattering)

She has had a sad, sad life.

It's true.

So true.

For her it's that husband

seen galavanting all over town

like a mule in heat.

And then, her youngest son

gets to smoking marijuana.

And now, her other son, Roger.

Well, I'm not the type of

woman who likes to talk

behind people's backs, so we'll

just leave it right there.

Miss Martha, we all

know you're gonna say it,

So why don't you just

go ahead and say it now?

He was seen coming

out of the Tight End.

Cheating husband,

marijuana smoking son,

and now her other son seen

coming out of a gay sports bar.

Miss Martha, what exactly

is your prayer request?

That Miss Angela

will find the strength

to get her house in order.

And let's pray for Missy's

self-esteem issues.

And while we're at it,

let's pray that Brother

Eli will figure out a way

to build the church

back to prominence

like it was when his

daddy was running things.

[Woman] Amen.

Mm-hmm.

(slow violin music)

Sorry.

No, you're not.

I'm not sorry.

I know.

You do this a lot?

Never.

Do you?

Yeah, I have.

I knew the second I saw

you at that potluck.

You had that look.

What look?

You know.

It's hard to explain.

It's more of a feeling.

It reminds me of making meth.

How does it feel like

you're making meth?

'Cause it's dangerous.

It feels so hot.

If you cook it too long, man,

it'll just blow up

right in your face.

[Eli] Do you know

how to make meth?

Yeah.

Hey, you're not making

meth here, are you?

You're not making meth here?

Do you know what'll happen to me

if they found out I was

holding a drug dealer here?

I didn't sell it.

I'll lose my church, Daniel.

Oh, if you're so

worried about your church,

what are you doing here

in the first place?

Huh?

I don't normally do this.

I mean, I have these

feelings, but I normally...

Normally I can stuff 'em down.

I read the Bible daily

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