The Ride

- What's it guzzle?|- About twenty litres. Roughly.

Cheap to run. Good car.

Does it run on gas or diesel?

Depends on what|you teach it to use.

Not bad, eh?

I can give you a good price.|What's your offer?

We haven't got much.

How much?

Eight.

- Eight what?|- Thousand.

Eight thousand crowns?

Let's look there, then.

Take a good look at this one.|It's a Pontiac.

This is what the one over|there could look like.

When you put it together.

Eight thousand crowns. A '93|model, ABS, air conditioning.

- Where's the engine?|- In the shed.

But it's registered|and has number plates.

But we want to drive it tomorrow.

Well guys, you should have|put more away. Sorry.

We've f***ed!

Is there anything here that|we could drive away?

This Kadet's not too bad.

They can all run. Back there we've|engines, wheels... no problem.

Just needs a simple fix-up.

- But we want to hit the road now.|- Let's take a look over there.

- But none of them are registered.|- Let me worry about the papers.

Plates too.|I like you guys, you go far.

I'm going to give you choice.|French plates.

Just say "Bonjour ". Works a treat|to the cops if they stop you...

They're stupid.|They'll let you go.

German doesn't work anymore.|"Guten Tag " they know...

- So, French plates are better.|- I won't be driving it...

Doesn't matter who's driving.|It's just a better cover.

- So how much?|- How much d'you have?

- Eight thousand.|- Eight?

You're kidding me. I should chuck|this in and do charity work.

So it's a deal?

THE RIDE:

/We'll find a place

/where the smoking's good.

/Where the hot sun

/doesn't sting the drinks.

/Where the wind spreads|/bits of bird sh*t

/all around us and says

/We've got to try|/what tastes the best

/and calmly wait|/till someone comes.

/Someone who knows|/that we're sitting here,

/and who will say "hi, boys".

/I've got one long arm.

/One long arm for you.

/Come sit with us

/we'll listen to you.

/We'll think on what

/we've got to do.

/Give us your hand

/and you'll relax...

/on that spot|/where one feels blue.

Bonjourrr...

The main roads are|for cops and criminals.

The side roads are for us.

Haven't we been here before?

The Prague Health Dept.|issued a warning...

...about the poor quality|of water in swimming pools.

This is due|to people peeing in the water.

And, quote:
"Everyone's peeing ",|say City health officials.

It says that a shrew

is around one and a half times|the length of a credit card.

That's a progress.

We used to use match boxes

to compare the scale of things.

God for instance.

Let's check this scale.

- So what's the verdict?|- God is great!

Let's plug ourselves|into the world.

A Roumanian girl would be ideal.

- What for?|- We could share her both.

- They're good, eh?|- No, but if she didn't like it,

she couldn't complain,|nobody would understand her.

And we could say that we|thought she wanted to, right?

Or a Hungarian. For sure.

- Aren't they all ugly?|- We can't be too choosy.

Or we can pick up a real|beauty, have her in the woods...

But then we'd have to bury her.

We got a shovel.

A tropical heat wave has|paralyzed traffic in the capital.

Traffic on most major routes|is gridlocked and not moving.

Seems as if it never will.

Good afternoon.

- C'mon. We'll give you a ride.|- Oh no, boys, it's not worth it.

- I live here in this village.|- C'mon. Here.

But it's really not worth it.

- Your rake...|- See, with my rake.

Such a nice car.|I'll only scratch it up.

You'll sit up front...

- Here we go.|- Where are coming from?

Oh, the fields.|Working, you know. Raking hay.

- You still rake hay?|- Sure.

- And where do you come from?|- We're from Prague.

I hope you find some nice|ladies and enjoy your holiday.

- Stop right here, by this lady.|- Here?

I told you, it's not worth it...

Now can I have my rake.|Thank you.

Where were you...|... that you needed a lift.

They were just nice boys...|from Prague.

Even then we only gave|her a short lift.

It was still a good deed!

If we hadn't taken her,|we'd be three miles further.

But it's not true.|It's impossible.

So we're actually three miles|behind, you see...

So, whatever happens from now on|wasn't meant to be.

A magic moment.|What's up? Where you going?

The reward for our good deed.

Hi. Want a ride?

What are you doing here?|C'mon. Get in.

You'll die here.|Ants will eat you alive.

- What were you doing there?|- Nothing.

So what were you leaving behind?

Panties.

Where to?

Doesn't matter.|I'll get off somewhere.

- We can take you home...|- No.

Did something happen to you?

I'd like a drink.

Can be arranged.

What's he doing?

Arshole.

- Do you speak English?|- Czech.

You didn't see a redhead|somewhere around here?

- No.|- No, we haven't.

What do you want to drink, then?

Gin.

No ice. And tonic.

- There's no gin.|- Doesn't matter.

What?

She says it doesn't matter.

What?

- It doesn't matter.|- Fernet, then.

- So what does she want?|- Fernet.

What's this place called?

Where are you going?

South.

The sea?

The car hasn't any papers,|so it can't cross the border.

So what do you do|when you get to the border?

We'll go either east or west.

- Going through Pelhrimov?|- No.

But we can take you there|if you want.

What I really want is a drink.

Who was that in the car?

A guy.

Did he do something to you?

No.

What did she say?

Nothing.|I think she's a bit wacky.

Well then work on her.|She could...

Did you notice that she hasn't|put those panties on yet?

That means that under that skirt,|she's actually, you know...

I guess so. And probably|doesn't even know it.

You think she's, like,|nuts or something?

I don't know.

Well, no point in us|fighting over her.

Look, she's put them back.

So she's not totally nuts.

So we won't get to see|her little p*ssy after all.

Hey look. A mirage.

That's where I'd like to go.|Just disappear.

It's the heat.|We say the air is sweating.

- Have you got any money?|- Money?

Why do you want to know?|Do you?

I don't have any. So you'll|have to look after me now.

Aha...?

That's why I'd like to know|if you have any money.

Why? Do you want it or what?

- No...|- So I don't get it.

Well, if I want something...

And do you want anything?

I'd like an ice-cream. A Magnum.

D'you want to sit up front?

C'mon.

So will you tell me your name?

Why? Does it matter? I'll be|getting off soon anyway.

Where are you getting out?|In Nepomuk?

So why don't you come with us|to Susice at least, eh?

- What do you think you're doing?|- I should be asking you that.

Our contract states that this|fridge is property of Algida.

You can't put other stuff|in here. Pragolaktos, Scholler.

I'm surprised you don't keep|chicken and spinach in here too.

So it's Annie?

I'm Radek. Hi.

- Cute little knuckles.|- Don't say that.

Why not? I want to...

It's just talk. Isn't it?

I don't have another freezer.

Freezers should be provided by|those companies that supply you.

I am hereby disconnecting|and sealing ours.

So what should I say|to make you stay with us?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes