The Ringer

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Chapter four.

You're a disgrace. You're wasting my oxygen.

Get off your butt and do something.

Hey, you! Stop looking

at the people around you.

I'm talking to you,

the loser who bought this tape.

I've had bowel movements

with more spine than you.

Do you like coming in

second place? Well, I don't.

And from now on, neither do you.

Starting today,

you're a winner and you can do it.

- Got it?

- I'm a winner.

Say it like you mean it,

you little Judy.

I am a winner.

I'm a winner. I can do it.

I'm a winner. I can do it.

I'm a winner. I can do it.

I'm a winner. I can do it.

I'm a winner.

Sir, I've been with this company

for two and a half years now,

and all I've really done

is some clerical work.

I think I'm ready

for some more responsibility.

OK, Barker. What kind

of responsibility are you looking for?

Look, I don't know, sir. I just feel

that I'm being underutilised here.

And I can handle a hell of a lot more

than what I've been given.

I'm just looking for the chance.

You know what, Barker? Maybe you're right.

Let's do it. Why not?

Let's move you upstairs.

See how you do. Give you a chance.

Wow, thank you. Thank you very much.

Yeah, yeah. Put him through.

I gotta take this.

Hello, Bull. Yeah, hang on. Hang on.

Yeah, wait. Barker, do me a favour,

will you, and fire Stavi?

- The janitor?

- Hang on. Yeah, he's doing a terrible job.

But he's a really nice guy.

- Can't you give him a second chance?

- I caught him using my bathroom.

I sat on his pee.

See you. Yeah.

Tell him to be on time.

I'm tired of teeing off late.

Stavi.

Stavi.

Hello, Mr Stevie.

Did you get the Christmas card I sent you?

Yeah.

Hey, listen. I wanna

talk to you for a second.

- Stavi, you don't like yourjob, do you?

- Yes. I like very much.

I get to clean things.

Work with my hands.

But you'd be happier doing something else.

You're a bright guy.

No, not really.

Of course you are, Stavi. You got

a little bit of a language problem, but...

No, no.

In my country, Stavi not too bright either.

Look, trust me.

You're wasting your time here.

No.

No.

No. Stavi can't be fired.

I have five kids. My wife, Betya, she die.

God.

I'm sorry.

Stavi love her...

from the depth...

of his soul.

I'm not firing you.

No?

No. I'm offering you something else -

a betterjob.

Stavi listening.

Would you like to mow the lawn

at my apartment complex?

I can do lawns. How much I get?

- How much do you get here?

- 350. A week.

- I can match it.

- Tempting.

But...

I have so many memories here.

- 400?

- And health benefits?

I can't really swing health benefits.

Please, Mr Stevie. I need health benefits.

I have big family.

You got 'em.

Come on.

It's OK. It's not that big of a deal.

Somebody help me!

I got a bag of fingers here.

My fingers!

- Keep it elevated.

- Man!

Just go right in there.

- Who's Mr Simicek's employer?

- Me.

I'm Dr Ahmed,

head of Reconstructive Surgical Group.

Good news. We can save his fingers.

- Thank you.

- Just a few questions.

What health plan is he on?

It doesn't say here anything.

He's not on one yet.

He's not on HMO?

How about Medicaid?

He doesn't have it. He's not a citizen.

Well, in that case you will need

to cover the cost of the surgery upfront.

- Well, how much is it?

- $28,000, not including the anaesthesia.

- I don't have that kind of money.

- Well, I'm sorry, sir.

As much as I'd like to help,

I can't do the surgery.

- What?

- You don't have insurance or any funds.

There's no way my hospital

can absorb that kind of risk.

How long do I have to raise the money?

Well, if I put the fingers on ice,

they can last for a couple of weeks.

After that, it's not doable.

I'm sorry, sir.

But, Doc...

Come on, Krysinski,

make this field goal.

Please, God, if he puts it through, I

promise, no more massages with happy endings.

- Here's the kick.

- Thank you, God.

I put out to you, you dump on me.

- Yo.

- Uncle Gary, it's Steve.

Hey! Shitbird.

Look, I hate to bother you, but...

I was calling you about that 1500

I loaned you a couple of years ago.

- Loan? I thought it was a gift.

- No. That was definitely a loan.

- I paid you.

- You didn't.

What do you need 1500 for? You got ajob.

- Well, actually, I need 28 grand.

- 28 grand?

What did you do?

Knock up a cheerleading squad?

It's just a stupid thing.

My friend got his fingers cut off and I...

Listen, I'd really like to help you out

with this 1500, but...

You've got me at a bad time now.

I'm on a real... Sh*t, gotta go.

Don't do...

You owe me $40,000,

which I, as a friend, took your word

that you would pay. And you haven't!

I will, Michael, I will. I promise.

- I got something working now. I promise...

- You know something? You talk too much.

A lot of people say

one thing we don't have today is heroes.

Hey, Michael, that guy you like's on TV.

His name is Jimmy Washington,

but to those who follow Special Olympics,

he's known by one simple word - champion.

You see, Jimmy has won

the last six Special Olympics pentathlons.

Incredible.

That guy's the Deion Sanders of retards.

I like to run and train hard for events,

and get to show I can do anything.

People tell me I'm good. I feel good.

I feel like a happy person.

I feel just like all of you.

I love that kid.

- Who is it?

- It's Paris Hilton.

- You have intimacy problems.

- What do you want, Uncle Gary?

- I don't want anything. I want to help you.

- I don't have any pot.

I don't want pot! I've got good news for you.

- You have money problems, right?

- Right.

Well, so do I. But it's all going to be over.

- Wanna know how?

- How?

We are gonna fix the Special Olympics.

Special Olympics.

We're gonna rig it. You and me.

You wanna fix the Special Olympics?

- Know what? I'm gonna get you a coffee.

- I'm not that drunk.

There's this kid - Jimmy. Wins all the time,

no one can beat him, right? Wrong. You can.

- What are you talking about?

- You were state champion at track in school.

- Division D champion.

- Whatever. You were a great athlete.

You were the best in drama class every year.

I was so proud of you. I kept a scrapbook.

- No, you didn't.

- In my heart I did.

You were a great actor, the best. You could

imitate anybody. Your Diana Ross - a riot.

We thought you'd end up

in Hollywood banging starlets.

That dream didn't work out too good.

Sit. Listen to your uncle. The preliminaries

are being held here in three days.

All you have to do is act like one of them,

not exactly a major stretch for you.

We get you in, you get into the nationals,

I bet 100 on you, we clean up,

your friend gets his fingers back.

Who's gonna take that bet? Vegas?

I know someone who will.

- No, I can't.

- Come on.

A normal guy against a bunch of feebs? You'll

look like Carl freakin' Lewis out there.

I am not fixing the Special Olympics.

It's wrong.

- Hello.

- I'll tell you what's wrong.

Your friend won't have health benefits,

that's what's wrong.

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