The Rite

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MAN 1:
Don't be afraid.

MAN 2:
Do you believe in sin?

WOMAN (whispers echoes): There's nothing to believe.

- You finished?

- Yep.

Then wash up and come eat.

I've washed up.

Well, then eat.

And when you're done, I'll need a hand with the casket.

How'd she do it?

What?

Kill herself.

Michael, I've told you this many times.

We serve the dead, but we don't talk about them.

It brings bad things.

We keep dead people in the house, Dad.

How much worse could it get?

- Are you kidding me?

- No, Eddie. I'm not kidding.

Wait, why?

So I can get out of here.

Just tell him you wanna go to college.

You got the grades. You can do it.

- You think he'd pay for that?

- Sh*t, man. Seminary school?

Wait, wait, wait. Wait.

Seminary school, really?

Wait, is this your way of telling me you're gay? I'm just joking.

Okay? Joke.

You don't get it. In my family...

you're either a mortician or a priest.

That's it.

Well, then change your name.

It's too late. I took the entrance exam.

- You what?

- MICHAEL:
I passed.

I'm leaving Monday.

EDDIE:
That's... That's crazy.

MICHAEL:
Dude, I've looked into it.

It's a four-year degree before you even take your first vows.

If it doesn't work out, I can always leave.

Wow. Such faith.

MICHAEL:
You know what, Eddie?

You're such a dick.

EDDIE:
Cool. Awesome. Whatever, dude.

I will never confess to you.

You know that, right?

NINA:
These are on the house.

- EDDIE:
Wow.

- Gonna get heat for giving away beers?

Not if they don't know.

How about for banging the customers?

Screw you, Eddie.

Drink up. I'm off in 10.

Lickety-split.

"Lickety-split"? (stammers)

You better make the most of that before they chop your wiener off.

Goodbye, wiener.

ISTVAN:
Don't worry.

The pain has gone.

God has taken it...

away.

Michael. Come.

Don't be afraid.

Four years later.

MAN:
This is always a special Mass for me...

as I look upon our new deacons.

as they prepare to go into the world with Christ's message.

So in the next few months, you will face your last assessments...

and then be asked to take your final vows to become priests.

So I leave you with these words to consider, from the Gospel of Saint John:

You did not choose me...

it was I who chose you...

and I send you forth to bear fruit that will last.

(crowd applause)

MATTHEW:
Michael.

Exam results.

You aced psychology.

- Art history too. Congratulations.

- Thank you.

So, what happened with theology?

It was like you blew it on purpose.

I've been distracted.

End of the year, that's all.

Drop by my office this week.

We'll discuss it.

Okay.

(gunfire playing on videogame TV)

MAN:
Yeah, jump. Take him out.

Dude, honestly?

(door slams)

(keyboard tapping)

(clicks)

(rain pattering)

MATTHEW:
Michael?

Michael, wait!

(grunts, thuds)

- (vehicle tire squealing)

- (woman screams)

MICHAEL:
Call an ambulance!

(thunder rumbling)

Bless me, Father.

Father.

Bless me.

Please, Father.

I don't wanna die like this.

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