The River Thief Page #3

- He touched me!

Hey, where you going?

Where you going?

I'm gonna sue your ass!

You get back here!

You pervert!

Inappropriately!

Are you ok, Bubby?

[video game noises]

Heard someone just

shot up a car.

No driver? No shooter?

Stolen. Wow.

Who was it registered to?

Text me that address, will you?

[door slamming]

[birds in background]

[knocking on window]

How long you gonna sit out here?

That kid told me to sit

out here all day

and take you wherever you

wanted to go.

Alright.

[car door slams]

[guitar bumps]

[car door opening]

Ok boss, where we going?

I need to have a chat

with my wife.

[engine]

[wind]

[traffic]

Hey, wait up!

[opening guitar case]

Liz, I've been screwin' up.

I know you don't like

that word, but...

it's true.

That boy,

I've been tryin' but you always

had the better touch.

[guitar tuning]

[guitar playing]

Just another boy that

needs a father.

[birds in background]

Alright, time for more

questions. And no lying.

I don't lie.

There's your first one.

I don't.

Ok, whatever.

So, you grew up in Portland,

and came into this town

on the river.

What's your real name?

I Doubt Diz is on your birth

certificate.

My name is what I say it is.

That's cocky.

My mom tried to kill me

every way

she knew how before

I was born.

And then she left me

in an alley.

So...

I don't really care what

she called me.

I do.

You're not going to tell me?

Did you ever meet your Dad?

Every once in a while I

want to find him.

Then I do something stupid

like float into this town.

Last time I saw my Mom,

she said he was here.

And if I did find him,

I'd probably kill him, so...

probably best I don't.

So if you have a kid...

is he going to think the same

thing about you?

What's that supposed to mean?

It's just a question.

I mean...

Are you just going to be

some idea...

where he doesn't know

if he wants to

meet you or kill you?

[guitar and singing]

[guitar and singing]

[guitar singing]

[guitar and singing]

[guitar and singing]

[birds in background]

Do you like me?

Yeah, I like you, I mean...

Not romantically.

I mean, I just met you.

You're not exactly in a stable

situation...

What would m ake y ou like

me romantically?

What would I have to do?

How long would it take?

Why, do you have somewhere

to be?

I don't know.

Maybe never.

It's not a fair question.

It i s a fair question.

Are you attracted to me?

No lying.

Now you're just being an ass.

You know, I can like something.

I can even be attracted to it.

but that doesn't mean

I have to go

take it off the shelf and

shove it in my pocket.

I have this thing called

impulse control.

If I see something I know

isn't good for me,

then I don't touch it.

I mean...can you understand

that?

If I find a guy that I can...

give my days...

my weeks and my years to...

and he can give that right back

then yeah.

I'll have that conversation

with h im.

Maybe someday you could be

a guy like that, but...

Girls betting on guys changing

is like jumping off a bridge

and betting against gravity.

Perfect.

So now you're going

on strike

because I don't love you?!

I have most of one

million dollars

hidden in a bag.

If I stay in this town, I will

get killed.

I have to leave.

And I want you to come with me.

Now I'm going to kiss you.

And then we'll go.

Or I go.

Whoa, uh, I..

I don't even understand any

of this.

I wish I knew what to do.

Ok, I would give ALL

of me to you

if I just knew HOW!

Hey Bamps!

Sorry I'm late. Our

thief friend

made everything very

interesting--

And which thief friend

would that be?

Who are you?

Bamps isn't here, sweetheart.

Oh, and I made tea.

I hope you don't mind.

Why don't you put those

bags down?

and we'll talk about me.

I'm not so sure I want to.

Become sure.

If you happen to be missing most

of a million dollars

I want you to know I have

nothing to do with that.

Neither does my granddad.

Wow.

That had to be the fastest

squeal on record.

You must really dislike

this kid.

It's not that...

Doesn't matter.

How little you care for him

is irrelevant.

How much he cares for y ou...

Now that is the question.

What would he be willing

to sacrifice

to keep you from being

seriously

and permanently harmed?

[door opening]

And you must be Bamps!

Welcome! Come in.

Glad you could join us!

Look here guys.

In order to get my money back,

we're going to have to

work together as a team.

Come on, come on, let's do this.

Come on.

[crickets]

[tires squealing]

[siren]

Geez dude, get out of the way!

Is that you, dude?

[car door opening]

Go go go, drive!

You shouldn't have gone

without me.

It was fun.

What part of you thought

taking a taxi was a good idea?

And now there's a record

of you being there.

[snort] hahaha

You some kind of cop

or something?

He is.

Well as long as somebody is...

I don't want to get a ticket

Right here, right here.

[car door slams]

[engines revving]

Those men take something

from you?

That driver is a dirty cop.

Saul Morgan.

And then today he touches my son

inappropriately in an arcade...

What about the other guy?

I don't know who he is.

His name is Clyde,

he flies a yellow plane?

Crazy Clyde Catskill?

Always a suspect,

never a convict.

Like...

a felony bridesmaid.

Can I borrow your phone?

In the morning, I need you

to report this stolen.

Make the cops track it, ok?

Uh, excuse me...

Marty?

Marty?

Marty, wake up!

Selah's in trouble!

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Mister Dizzy!

So glad to speak with you!

I left you a note

but I wasn't sure if you would

be returning.

A note? Who is this?

This is the man you robbed!

The man with the beautiful girl

tied up in his shop!

Would you like to have her back?

Simple! Follow the instructions

and you will have her.

Maybe a little damaged, but...

likely alive.

Now...Hold the bag above

your head so I can see it.

At my signal, hang it

on the tree.

One minute late, they die.

If the bag is too light,

they die.

If you try to cheat in any way,

they die...and then you.

[other phone hangs up]

[silence]

[dialing]

Mom? It's...

11:
50, why are you calling...

are you downstairs?

No, bubby it's not your mom...

but I am a friend of hers

and I need your help.

Do you think you could

help me out? Bubby?

My name is Phillip...

and I should probably

ask my mom,

she doesn't really let me

do anything--

No, no, can't do that.

You cannot ask your mother

about this.

This is like a mission.

and it would scare her.

But if you do do it,

I know she would be

crazy proud of you.

She might even start

calling you Phillip.

Do you have a car?

Hey, wake up.

Let's go.

I'm really starting to hate you.

A couple stops then a drive.

[whispering] I can't

I have clarinet practice!

No! Bubby has clarinet practice!

I'm talking to Phillip!

What does that even m ean?

I am Phillip!

Ok, here! Just hold on to this.

Don't open it! Ever, ok?

What?

Just get the car; I'll call you.

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