The River Why Page #3

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Do not- Uh.

Bye.

Hey!

You all right up there?

Yeah.

Well, are you hurt?

I- No- No!

Can you get down?

No.

Why not?

Just 'cause.

All right, mummy mouth.

If that's all you got

for me, good luck.

No, no, no.

Don't go.

Why not?

"No life, good scholar...

"no life so happy

and so pleasant...

"as the life

of a well-governed angler.

"So we may say that God

never did make...

"a more calm, quiet...

innocent recreation

than angling."

I don't suppose he did.

And now, I think it's time...

for you to repair

to your angle rod...

which should not be left in

the water to fish for itself.

Oh, yeah, is that what

we've been doing, huh?

Funny, 'cause I thought...

I was trying to catch me

a steelhead.

And you, what are you

doing here?

I am a fisherman, but I

only came here to swim.

If you're a fisherman,

where's your gear?

My gear is at home,

on the Tamanawis.

"But let us say grace

and fall to breakfast.

What say you, scholar?"

You can say grace

all you want.

Just don't fall

to breakfast, please.

Why not?

Because you're gonna

break your neck...

before I figure out

that lingo of yours.

It's Zizak Waltley. I mean Zisac Walters

- [groans]

Izaak Walton?

Yes!

And what is your name?

Crawl me Gust.

Wh-Wh-Wh-What's

your name?

[laughs]

Eddy.

Just Eddy.

Nice to meet you.

Eddy, like the swirvles

in the river wattle.

I wish.

No.

Eddy like my dad, Edwin.

You got- You got-

You got a bite.

Hm?

[mumbling]

[grunting]

Where'd you go?

Aiee!

Sacajawea Argeiphontes!

I am wounded.

Titus?

[groaning]

(Titus) The Sufi Attar has written...

"One tiny fly which

entered the ear of Nimrod...

troubled the brain

of that idiot for centuries. "

Please, Gus.

Spare me Nimrod's fate.

[sighs]

It's hopeless.

I'll never catch one

of those beautiful trout.

Whoops. You just used

one of the two words...

that should be deleted from

every true fisherman's vocabulary.

Hopeless?

No. Always and never.

[groans]

How's it feel?

Eerie, thanks.

Don't mention it.

Consider it de-mentioned.

[chuckles]

What's that?

(Gus)

It's a long, dull story.

If I'm not mistaken,

I've seen that look before.

Is there a woman in this?

Twice she slipped

away now.

She's uncatchable.

Uncatchable

as in never?

She's not a fish, Titus.

Maybe not, but it

certainly sounds to me...

like you're telling the story

of the one that got away.

Live the rest of my life

without ever seeing...

the beautiful

fisher girl again?

That's- that's a pretty

miserable prospect.

[sighs]

Well-

I guess there's nothing

left to do...

but just drink

till I die.

I'll admit there is no cure

for a soul in your condition...

but there are

three consolations.

Okay.

One is hope.

You may find her again.

Yeah, fat chance.

Gus, if she's as beautiful

as you say she is-

She's twice as beautiful

as I say she is.

She knows your name.

She knows the river.

She may find you.

Yeah. We may grow wings.

We might.

Okay. What are these

other two consolations?

Well, you've already put down

a healthy dose of the second.

The third, however,

requires more aptitude.

What kind of aptitudes?

Philosophical aptitude.

Titus, I know how

to philosophize...

as well as you

know how to fly cast.

I think you should

get plowed tonight.

And tomorrow, we begin

philosophizing. [glasses clink]

I just told you...

I don't know

how to philosophize.

Well, and I don't know

how to fish.

Okay. So?

So we teach each other.

[chuckling]

What have I got to lose?

Your unhappiness.

Yeah, right.

What is that?

Is that an imitation

of a grasshopper?

[scoffs] This is an

abstract representation...

of a fat tourist

on a golf course.

It's called Bermuda shorts.

Here, fishy.

I like it. What say we

migrate to a watering hole...

a little closer

to civilization?

To Portland?

Sure.

The way that goes ahead often

looks as if it went back.

I just want to go ahead

and find Eddy.

[soft guitar music]

Come on.

[soft growl]

[barking]

Titus?

[door opens, closes]

Titus!

Yes?

Ah.

This your dog?

Yes.

Well, he's kind of

staring at me.

So?

Does he bite?

Can I move? Or-

Why won't he just

go away?

He

- He doesn't bite without cause.

But, uh,

you should move.

You're in Descartes chair.

[dog, whimpering]

Easy there, buddy.

I'm just gonna move

over to the couch.

And then Descartes'

silly chair...

will be all fine.

Uh, Titus?

The dog's

in Descartes' chair now.

And he's rocking. Should

I tell him to get down?

No, you shouldn't.

The dog is Descartes.

Oh.

Well.

This is amazing.

How did you teach him to

rock a chair like that?

Don't make a stew

about it, Gus.

You'll only

confuse him.

Descartes' immediate

goal is humanity...

as surely as ours

is divinity.

What?

Sorry. I guess...

I'm just from the orthodox

school, you know?

Fido, Rover, fetch,

roll over.

Well, Gus...

are you ready to fish?

Fish for what?

For happiness.

And where

do you fish for that?

You believe that stuff?

[scoffing]

I'm not sane, Gus.

I believe in the rivers

of living water.

I believe our souls

swim in that water.

I believe that Jesus,

Buddha, Krishna, Mohamed

are the savor

in that water.

Wish I believed that.

And why don't you?

Bait or fly.

Fried or scrambled.

Jesus or Mohamed.

I mean, does it really

make any difference?

Does it

really matter?

Where are all these sages

and buddhas holing up...

now when we really

need 'em?

Well, would you know one

if you met one?

Come on, Titus.

Even Izaak Walton talks

about the goodness...

of the God of nature.

I've never seen Him, and

I've fished in ten states.

Whoever, whatever,

wherever He is or isn't...

if He really wants me

to notice Him...

maybe He should stop

being so scarce.

All right. Why can't a

duffer like me catch a fish?

[scoffing]

Isn't the answer obvious?

Isn't it because at my

present level of skill...

the fish would have to be

so damn dumb...

and utterly unelusive

as to be not worth catching?

And how much more elusive...

should a thing as wondrous

as a soul be?

Fishermen should be the

easiest of men to convince...

to search for their souls,

because fishing is nothing but...

the pursuit

of the elusive.

How can you be so patient

in searching for fish...

and so hasty

to write off your soul...

because you can't see it?

[soft guitar music]

[running water]

[soft guitar music continues]

[coins clinking]

[dialing]

Hi.

Yeah. Um...

I was looking

for a girl named Eddy...

who works for you.

She- She worked

at your casting pool...

at that angling fair

a couple of months ago?

She got a new job?

Okay. Well,

could you maybe tell me...

you know,

where she's working now?

No, because

of privacy issues. Right.

Well, is there a supervisor that

I could talk to or something?

[metallic clank]

[hangs up]

[running water]

(Gus) You must be the only

living thing left in here.

[sighing]

I'm thinking about an

ant. That sound good?

[soft guitar music]

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