The Road Within Page #4

I'll just f***in' floor it.

And I don't think there's ever been

a car chase that wasn't televised.

Yeah, we'll probably get caught.

The perps always do, but you know what?

I'm really looking forward

to being on the news.

You know the camera does add ten pounds,

but I think it will be worth it, don't you?

Hello? You still... you still there?

And two... Oh! Two things.

You're wrong. You don't know anything

about me. And you'll never see me again.

What did she say?

- She threatened me.

- What did he say?

- That I'm wrong.

- Well, I could've told you that.

Okay.

We can't track them.

We need to put ourselves in their shoes.

Where would we go?

What do you mean?

You just told off your father.

Where would you go?

I'd never tell off my father.

I had too much respect for him.

Okay. Then imagine your father

just told you that you were worthless,

good for nothing, that you

couldn't even finish a sentence.

Where would you go?

I think I know where they're going.

Careful!

You're right. They probably

don't make parts for this car anymore.

How in God's name do you know

how to do this, anyway?

Let's just say

I wasn't always a politician.

What?

Maybe the apple didn't fall

far from the tree.

Dan, we're going to have

to cancel the next few days.

Cancel the next few days.

I don't care. Make something up.

Whatever you want as long

as it doesn't cost me votes.

I know, Monica. I know.

I know!

Alex, it was just a pothole, all right?

You don't have to stop.

- What the f***?

- Dead babies on the road.

F***. We hit a pothole.

Wake up!

- Are you all right?

- No. You?

No.

Might I suggest that we stop

at a hotel for a few hours?

Excellent idea.

I'm starving.

- We need gas.

- I need food.

- What you need is a lobotomy.

- Shut up, Skeletor.

Just... both of you shut up.

We need a plan.

One of us pumps, one of us steals,

one of us distracts. I'll steal.

I want to steal.

So you can get stuck opening and closing

the door four times before you run out?

- You're pumping.

- Absolutely not.

- Get away from me.

- Going to get you.

- You're pumping.

- Anal bleach.

And I guess that means

you're distracting.

Well, sounds like I was born

for this job.

Okay.

- That it?

- Yeah. Thank you.

It's 5.95, then.

- Can I help you?

- No, thanks.

- Dude, 5.95.

- Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Anything else?

No.

- What the f*** was that?

- I don't know.

I can't remember

the last time that happened.

- Where's my food?

- He didn't tic.

You mean the only thing we got out

of that was a copy of Family Circle?

This f***ing sucks.

Can't I get one suck ass advantage

out of this cock-sucking illness?

They only come

when I don't want them to,

and always at the worst

motherfucking moments.

You just said like four sentences

without ticcing once.

But he swore, like, ten times,

what's the difference?

Shut the fu... up, Alex.

There they are.

Welcome back to the freak show.

Now? Cock f***. Now?

Okay, you know what?

Let's get out of here before they realize

- we have no money for gas, okay?

- Absolutely not.

I'm going in there

and I'm getting something to eat.

You two stay here and be ready

to go when I run out.

Really?

Good evening, sir.

Latex gloves are where?

F***.

Vincent, relax.

There's a clown in my head,

and he shits in between my thoughts.

And he forces me to do

the most inappropriate... f***!

The most inappropriate thing

at the most inappropriate moment.

So relaxing is pretty much

the one thing I cannot do.

Why don't you eat?

What?

My brain is broken,

but all you have to do is eat something.

I...

It's not that easy.

Why not?

- Go! Drive! Go! Go, now!

- How did you do that?

- I said go!

- Holy sh*t.

F***ing Christ.

Come on.

Hold it in until it makes you...

Exactly.

Why am I doing this again?

Maybe it will help with the ticcing.

So, what are you going to do

after we get to the ocean?

I don't know.

I haven't thought that far ahead yet.

I want to get a dog.

Hello, random. Someone's stoned.

No, I'm serious, but I always

wanted a dog growing up,

and my dad wouldn't let me.

And then...

And...

after the divorce,

taking care of my mom,

it was a lot of work.

Yeah.

Well, now you're free.

You don't have to take care of anyone.

I don't know what's worse,

the fact that I just...

defecated in the woods, or that my buttocks

now smell like Handiwipes.

The mental image is worse.

Are you guys smoking weed?

No.

You're repugnant.

Come on, come back.

Love you.

I love pressing his buttons.

What are you knitting, a noose?

One more day in that clinic,

and, yeah, maybe.

What ended up happening with Dr. Rose?

Do you like to dance?

Yeah.

- Well, this is a waltz.

- I know.

I know means you don't.

You could show me.

Okay.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- We're dancing?

- We're dancing.

I want to take this hat off

so I look cooler.

Yeah...

- This hand, here.

- Okay.

This hand, here.

Look over the shoulder.

Posture, darling. Posture.

Start with your right foot

and go forward.

- Right. Foot forward.

- Foot, go forward.

- All right, I'm ready.

- Ready? And...

We're good. We're good, though.

- Okay, spin me.

- Spin you?

See, that was nice.

Hey!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Hey guys, this car

even has movie listings.

Then kiss me right.

I can't sleep.

Probably because you got

enough sleep in the car.

That girl...

- Marie?

- Why doesn't she eat?

Anorexia is a disease of the mind,

so, even though we see skin and bones,

all she sees is fat.

But she won't drop dead

from that, right, I mean...

you can live for weeks without food.

Her heart already gave out once

a few months ago...

which is why I threatened to force

feed her through a tube yesterday.

And she jumped ship.

It's not your fault.

You were just doing your job.

Morning.

You're wearing my windbreaker.

Behavioral exercise.

Hey, do you think it's far to the top?

Do I look like a tour guide?

- Come on, let's go.

- Let's not and say we did.

- I've never been on a mountain before.

- What if it sucks?

- What if it's amazing?

- What if it's dangerous?

What if it's... What if it's exciting?

- What if we die?

- Well, what if we f***ing live?

- Stop yelling.

- He has Tourette's.

We're going to the top.

What?

- Damn it.

- We're going to find them.

Okay, you win.

We'll go to the police.

Thank you.

Not far?

It's probably not that far now.

You okay?

F*** you.

Be careful about Marie.

Excuse me?

Don't be fooled. She doesn't love you.

Well, thanks... F***. For the advice.

It's not you, it's her.

She's not capable.

And you're the expert on relationships?

You can't even shake hands with someone.

It's just a plant.

- Sh*t!

- Snake.

Sh*t.

- Get off the log. Let's get off the log!

- Hey, wait.

Go. Go, go, go.

I think it's, like, another...

couple of hundred yards,

and we're there.

Echo!

Look at that.

I'm Alex in wonderland!

I love these.

- Hey, what the f*** are you doing?

- What is on my face? What is on my face?

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