The Room
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Opening credits play against generic footage of Johnny stalking about San Francisco
Exterior shot of Johnny’s car pulling up outside his house
Johnny:
Hi babe! I have something for you.Lisa:
What is it?Johnny:
Just a little something.He playfully hides the package, then presents it to Lisa. She opens it to find a red dress.
Lisa:
Johnny, it’s beautiful. Thank you. Can I try it on now?Johnny:
Sure, it’s yours.Lisa:
Wait right here. (she grabs Johnny’s tie and kisses him) I’ll try it on right now.Johnny sits down. Cut to Lisa reemerging from the stairs in the red dress.
Johnny:
Wow, you look so sexy, Lisa.Lisa:
Isn’t it fabulous?Johnny:
I would do anything for my girl.Enter Denny
Denny:
Oh hey, guys.Johnny:
Oh hi, Denny.Denny:
Wow! Look at you!Lisa:
It’s from Johnny.Johnny:
Anything for my princess! Ha-ha-ha-ha.Denny:
How much was it?Lisa:
Denny, don’t ask a question like that!Johnny:
Nice to see you, Denny. I’m going to take a nap.Denny:
Can I go upstairs too?Johnny:
Ha-ha!Lisa:
Denny, I think I’m gonna join him.Johnny:
A-ha-ha.They exit upstairs, speaking barely audibly
Lisa:
I’ve got some candles upstairs.Johnny:
You always think. A-ha-ha. Alright, I’m ready.Lisa:
This is so pretty, I can’t wait for you to get it off of me.Johnny:
Oh, yeahhh.Denny takes a bite of an apple, then follows them upstairs.
In the bedroom, Johnny and Lisa start a pillow fight.
Johnny:
A-ha-ha! (incomprehensible gibberish) Ha-ha-ha! Ouch!Denny joins in and gets clobbered as everyone laughs.
Denny:
No, stop!Johnny:
Denny, do you have something else to do?Denny:
I just like to watch you guys.Lisa:
Oh, Denny, Denny, Denny boy!Johnny:
Denny, two’s great, but three’s a crowd, ha-ha.Denny:
I get it. You guys want to be alone.Johnny:
That’s the idea!Denny:
Fine. I have homework to do anyway. Bye, lovebirds!Johnny:
Bye, Denny.Lisa:
Bye, Denny.Denny exits, and a three-minute love scene commences, scored to terrible R&B. There’s a lot of water and rose petals and naked b*obs. Johnny fucks Lisa’s belly button. Afterwards they lie awkwardly in bed together, and Lisa seems bored with Johnny as he sleeps.
The alarm clock goes off at :28. Johnny gets up, smells a rose, and bares his ass to the camera. He emerges from the bathroom dressed for work and greets Lisa.
Johnny:
Did you like last night?Lisa:
Yes I did.Johnny:
Ha-ha-ha.Lisa:
Can I get you anything?Johnny:
Unh-unh. I have to go now.Lisa:
Okay, bye.Johnny:
Bye.Johnny exits. Cut to an exterior daytime shot of the house, then to the living room. Lisa answers the door, and Claudette enters.
Lisa:
Hi mom, how are you?Claudette:
I’m fine, how are you? Hmmm? Okay, let’s go to the couch, and we will sit down. Now, what’s happening with you? Hmmm?Lisa:
Nothing much. Do you want some coffee?Claudette:
What’s wrong? Tell me.Lisa:
I’m not feeling good today.Claudette:
Well, why not?Lisa:
I don’t love him anymore.Claudette:
Why don’t you love him anymore? Tell me.Lisa:
He’s so boring.Claudette:
You’ve known him for over five years. You’re engaged. You said you loved him. He supports you, he provides for you, and darling, you can’t support yourself. He’s a wonderful man, and he loves you very much. And his position is very secure. And he told me he plans to buy you a house.Lisa:
That’s why he’s so boring!Claudette:
Well, what are you going to do?Lisa:
I don’t know. I don’t mind living with him.Claudette:
Well, you can’t do that. Have you talked to him about it?Lisa:
No. I don’t know what to do.Claudette:
Well, he’s a wonderful person. And he’s getting a promotion very soon. Now he bought you a car, he bought you a ring, clothes, whatever you wanted, and now you want to dump him. That’s not right. I’ve always thought of him as my son-in-law. You should marry Johnny, he would be good for you.Lisa:
I guess you’re right about that.Claudette:
Well, of course I’m right. I know men! I wasn’t born yesterday. I’m glad you’re listening to your mother. Nobody else listens to me.Lisa:
You’re probably right about that, mom.Claudette:
Well, I’m glad you’re listening to your mother. Listen, I’ve gotta go. But you remember what I told you, okay? M-hm. Bye bye now.Claudette exits
Lisa:
(sarcastically) Thanks, mom.The same room, later in the day. Lisa picks up the phone and Mark answers on the other end.
Mark:
Hello?Lisa:
Hey baby, how are you doing?Mark:
Oh hey, how you doing? Yeah, I’m very busy, what’s going on?Lisa:
I just finished talking to my mom. She gave me this big lecture about Johnny.Mark:
Look, we’ll talk about it later. I told you, I’m very busy.Lisa:
We’ll talk about it now! Whenever you say we’ll talk about it later, we never do. I can’t wait till later. I want to talk right now. You owe me one anyway.Mark:
Okay. Alright, what do you want to talk about?Lisa:
She’s a stupid b*tch. She wants to control my life. I’m not going to put up with that. I’m going to do what I want to do, and that’s it. What do you think I should do?Mark:
I mean, why do you ask me? You know, you’ve been very happy with Johnny. What do you want me to say? I mean, you should enjoy your life. What’s the problem?Lisa:
Maybe, you’re right. Can I see you tomorrow?Mark:
Okay. Alright, how about noon?Lisa:
I’ll be waiting for you. Bye.Mark:
Alright, see you.Cut to gratuitous footage of a cable car in downtown San Francisco.
Back in the room, Lisa answers the door. Mark enters.
Mark:
Hi. How you doing?Lisa:
I’m fine, come in. Have a seat. (they are silent while she pours wine and offers it)Mark:
Thank you.Lisa:
It’s hot in here. (she unbuttons the top of her blouse) Do you mind?Mark:
No.Lisa approaches Mark in her strapless black dress.
Mark:
I mean the candles, the music, the sexy dress, I mean, what’s going on here?Lisa:
I like you very much, loverboy.Mark:
What are you doing this for?Lisa:
What’s the matter? Don’t you like me? I’m your girl?Mark:
Johnny’s my best friend. You’re going to be married next month. Come on.Lisa:
Forget about Johnny. This is between you and me.Mark:
I don’t think so. I’m leaving now.Lisa:
Please don’t leave. Please don’t leave. I need you. I love you. I don’t want to get married anymore. I don’t love Johnny. I dream about you. I need you to make love to me.Mark:
I don’t think so. Everything’s going to be fine, I promise.They proceed to kiss, then have fully clothed three-minute sex on the spiral stairs to the tune of terrible R&B (“you are my rose”).
Mark:
Why did you do this to me? Why? Johnny’s my best friend.Lisa:
Didn’t you enjoy it?Mark:
That’s not the point.Lisa:
I love you, Mark.Mark:
Look, you’re very attractive, alright? You’re beautiful. But we can’t do this anymore. I can’t hurt Johnny.Lisa:
I know. He’s your best friend.Mark:
Hey. This will be our secret.They kiss.
Cut to exterior shot of a hilly San Francisco street. Johnny’s car pulls up to a flower shop.
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"The Room" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_room_285>.
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