The Running Man Page #3

- Hm?

- Miss?

- Huh?

You didn't put it in your purse again, did you?

Last vacation she put my credit cards in there, and

we couldn't find them for a week.

- Hm, here. Could you hold this, please?

- You want to move it up there?

We got a plane to catch.

Go on! Go on!

You can't live with them...

and you can't live without them.

- This is ridiculous!

I'm warning you, I get sick...

air sick, car sick.

I'm gonna throw up all over you.

Go ahead. It won't show on this shirt.

Help! He's Ben Richards!

He's trying to kidnap me! Help!

Positive ID. Benjamin A. Richards.

Priority-one fugitive. Repeat, all units, terminal seven.

All right. We're on him. Close in! Close in!

Go! Go! Go! Move!

You move and you're dead!

Hi, cutie pie.

You know, one of us is in deep trouble.

You know who I am?

I've seen you before.

You're the a**hole on TV.

That's funny. I was gonna say the same thing about you.

I saw the video of your prison break. Sensational.

Ben, I think we might be able to help each other out.

I've got the brains, and you've got talent.

And you've got more. You've got talent...

you've got charisma, and you've got balls.

That's why I pulled a few strings to get you here.

And that's why...

I'd like you to volunteer to appear...

on tomorrow's broadcast of The Running Man.

F*** you.

You're a brilliant conversationalist, man. A trifle

limited, but brilliant.

Take a look.

– How long are they gonna keep us here?

Now isn't that your old schoolteacher buddy there? Huh?

And there's your other buddy, the one who helped

you in the prison infirmary.

Weiss. Laughlin. What are you gonna do with them?

Well, that's really up to you, Ben.

You see, I created The Running Man, but I don't

make the rules.

I got a contract with the government.

They send me the convicts, I put them on the

show. Well, you've seen it, right?

And you know at least you've got a chance.

But your buddies, Ben...

get the B list.

So if you don't do The Running Man tomorrow...

Weiss and Laughlin...

are gonna go on...

in your place.

What do you say?

Let's see how far this clown runs when we're

done with him.

Starting barium IV.

That's a go.

Reading all systems down the line.

Your bird is singing loud and clear.

All systems check out.

Mandibular restraint.

Interphalangic injection.

Deltoid IM injection.

Procedure completed.

Takes care of him.

Sons of b*tches!

He's wrapped. Knock him out till show time.

These guys never stop competing.

I get thirsty just watching them, and in my

line of work, I can't afford that filled-up feeling.

That's why I drink Cadre Cola.

It hits the spot.

The capture of renegade police officer and

mass murderer Ben Richards was filmed yesterday

by runway security cameras. Richards's hostage,

Amber Mendez, was unharmed. Some airport

personnel were not so lucky, like the ticket agent

and security guard Richards shot at point-blank

range when he arrived at the airport.

Ah, but that's not true.

They were taken to Cadre Memorial Hospital

where they remain in guarded condition.

And now, back to Climbing for Dollars.

Mr. Richards.

I'm your court-appointed theatrical agent.

It's time.

And digital effects number one.

Roll process mod.

Okay, you guys. Hey, here we are.

Hey, we make some money.

Hey, over here! Here!

Big crowd tonight.

Better there than in the streets.

Buzzsaw, Buzzsaw! Touch me! Buzzsaw!

Let's hear it! Who's your number one stalker? Yeah.

Buzzsaw! Slice those runners for me, man!

He touched me! You guys see that? Buzzsaw touched me!

Look at my power!

Don't touch the hair!

Go!

Look, do you have any more change? I ran out.

Yes.

Six dollars. Jesus, this place...

You're lucky to be alive. I mean, that guy, he's killed,

what – sixty, eighty, a hundred people?

Not according to him, he hasn't.

That's what they all say.

"Whereas the victim contests this...

and whereas network and victim have in past

been combatants...

ad hoc de facto...

the parties herein have agreed to disagree.

This is now mutually consented to be de jure...

and therefore parties have certain obligations

to each other.

Respective rights and obligations.

A. Victim has no rights."

Boy.

"B. ..."

Lucky he didn't kill you too...

or rape you and kill you...

or kill you, then rape you.

"Conflicts between your estate and Network..."

I mean, a guy like that – what would stop him?

Yeah.

What would?

Look, Amy, I – I have to pass on that drink.

I just remembered that I have some paperwork to do,

- And now –

so I'll catch you tomorrow, okay?

- here's the producer of The Running Man...

and everyone's favorite showman...

Damon Killian!

Yeah! Thank you! You're beautiful!

I love you. Yes!

You're beautiful!

Thank you!

Shh!

It's...

show time!

Yeah! Yeah!

All right, now, tell me.

What's the number one television show

in the whole wide world?

The Running Man!

And who loves you, and who do you love?

Damon!

One more time!

Damon!

Yes!

Phil, my announcer.

I heard the warm-up today, and I got to tell you...

honestly, Phil, I don't think I've ever heard you funny.

I'm just kidding, guys. You're great at your job.

Too bad it isn't music.

"Res ipsa loquitur, ad infinitum for cassettes,

videotapes, bubble chips, and all other methods

of recordings known or unknown."

Sign here.

Hey!

Here, here here. Use my back, victim.

Don't forget to send me a copy.

The love of my life, my number one fan...

Mrs. McArdle!

- Tell me, how you doin'?

- Just fine.

I want a kiss, now, a big kiss, but remember, no tongues.

- Bless you.

- Sit down, little darlin'.

We have one hell of a show for you tonight.

Phil! Please, if you will...

introduce tonight's...guest...runner...

and watch that screen.

Our star runner tonight needs no introduction.

He's Ben Richards!

The brutal slayer of 60 men, women and

children in the Bakersfield Massacre.

- Food riot in progress.

Approximately 1,500 civilians.

Moving in.

Yankee Nine-Niner, the crowd is unarmed.

Repeat, unarmed. Abort attack.

- Acknowledge, Yankee Nine-Niner.

- The hell with you.

- Lieutenant Sanders, take command. Detain

Richards and return to base.

- Acknowledge, Yankee Nine-Niner. Acknowledge!

Return to base! Those are innocent, unarmed

people down there! Cease fire! Cease fire!

- Oh, no!

Oh!

Well, we all know the aftermath...

grieving parents...

orphaned children...

and a nation shocked to its very core.

Here he is...

ready to pay the price for our home audience...

in person...

the Butcher of Bakersfield!

Kill him!

Boo!

Boo!

Now, Ben Richards could've gone to prison, paid his

penalty; but instead, he volunteered for

The Running Man. Risking everything for a chance...

- Excuse me.

- at our fabulous prizes, like a trial by jury,

suspended sentence...

maybe even a full pardon.

Like our previous winners, Whitman, Price and Haddad!

You remember them! Whitman, Price and Haddad!

There they are! And at this very moment, they're

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