The Santa Clause

Ho-ho-ho! | Merry Christmas!

Hey, guys!

- Ho! Merry Christmas. | - Thanks. | - Hey!

Ladies and gentlemen, | can I have your attention?

This has been our best year ever | thanks to Do-lt-All-For-You-Dolly.

A-And I think we should give | a special thanks to the people...

responsible for our | record-breaking sales,

our Midwest marketing | and distribution team,

- Scott Calvin and Susan Perry! | - Yeah!

Let's hear it for 'em! | Come on!

Susan, darling, come on up here. | Aren't they adorable?

Say a few words.

Thank you very much. | This was really a team effort,

and I would just want to thank | every one of you individually--

But we don't have time | for that, do we?

In all seriousness, | um, here at B&R Toys,

we're not just about makin' | a profit in quality toys.

We're also about families.

But our families aren't | here with us right now.

Which is probably why Johnson's | secretary is sittin' in his lap.

You guys have a great party, | have a great year.

Drive safe. | Thanks very much.

Aren't they wonderful?

Laura, I was hopin' to catch you | before you'd left your house.

I ran real late today. You wouldn't | believe the traffic out here.

Yeah, same to you! | And that's not very ladylike!

Anyway, I'll try to get | to my house as soon as I can.

Oh, there's the problem right there.

Three car pile-up. | I'm really gonna be late.

Hark, carol bells, sweet silver bells | All seem to sing throw cares away

Christmas is here bringing good cheer | To young and old, meek and the bold

Ding dong and dong, balance in song | Ring joyful ring, all caroling

One seems to hear words of good cheer | from everywhere filling the air

Oh, how they pound, raising the sound | go hand in hand calling in the town

Gaily they ring while people sing | songs of good cheer, Christmas is here

Merry, merry, merry | merry Christmas

Merry, merry, merry | merry Christmas

On we will sing, dawn with a hymn | Angel will come to every home

Hark, carol bells, sweet silver bells | All seem to sing throw cares away

Hark, carol bells, sweet silver bells | one seems to hear words of good cheer

From everywhere, filling the air | Oh, how they pound, raising the sound

Go hand in hand | Calling in the town

Gaily they ring while people sing | songs of good cheer, Christmas is here

Merry, merry, merry | merry Christmas

Merry, merry, merry | merry Christmas

On we will sing, dawn with a hymn | Angel will come to every home

On we will sing, dawn with a hymn | Angel will come to every home

Ding dong ding

Dong

All right. Let's go.

- Bye, Charlie. | - Bye, Neal.

- Oh, sorry I'm late. Hi. | - Hi.

- Did you want to come in for a minute? | - Neal's waiting in the car, so--

- Why doesn't he come in? | - 'Cause, Daddy, he says you'll | just end up saying something snotty.

Not necessarily. Could be rude | or sarcastic. Whatever it takes.

- See? I gotta go. Here. | - Oh, come on. Come on.

Christmas Eve. | Just for a minute.

Watch those steps. | They're real slippery.

- Ooh! | - Told ya.

- So-- | - Well--

- You goin' to your mom's for dinner? | - Actually, we're gonna be | with Neal's family.

Ah, Christmas at the pound.

There aren't that many | presents over there.

Well, that's because | Santa isn't here yet.

Neal doesn't believe | in Santa.

Well, Neal's head | comes to a point.

-He's smart. He's a doctor. | -He's not a doctor. He's a psychiatrist.

Take your coat off. | You're stickin' around, aren't ya?

I'll be right there. | Just a sec.

- I just want to-- | - Did that jerk tell Charlie | there was no Santa Claus?

What? No. Oh, Charlie came home | from school the other day in tears,

because some big kid told him | there was no such thing as Santa.

And, you know Neal. | Well, he sat him down and--

He told him that | there was a Santa Claus.

Well, all he said was that | Santa was more like a feeling.

You know, more like | a state of mind than a person.

Kind of like Neal. | And who gave you permission | to tell Charlie there's no Santa Claus?

I think if we're gonna destroy our son's | illusions, I should be a part of it.

- Yeah, but you're never around, | are you, Scott? | - Oh, oh, please.

Listen, all we are trying to do is | give Charlie a firm grasp on reality.

That's a good idea. You don't want kids | runnin' around usin' their imaginations.

Oh, yeah. This from the guy responsible | for the Do-lt-All-For-You-Dolly.

- Leave her out of this. | - Don't you burp me, don't you change me

- I'm the dolly-- | - Why do you guys always have to fight?

I, uh, swear we're not fighting. | It's your mom's singing.

It sounds a lot like fighting, | doesn't it? Cats even.

The trouble is, Neal and your mom, | they don't believe in Santa | because they were real naughty.

Which is why they'll probably get | lumps of coal in their stockings.

I don't know. It seems kind of babyish | to believe in that kind of stuff.

What are you talkin' about? I believe | in Santa Claus. I'm not a baby.

- Well-- | - Maybe it's time you left.

We don't want to keep | Dr Pinhead waiting.

Come here.

Do I gotta stay?

Listen, you and your daddy are | gonna have a great Christmas, okay?

- Will you pick me up tomorrow? | - Of course.

- Early? | - Yes.

We're talking sunup? | You're here?

You'll be fine. Ah, merry | Christmas, Charlie. I love you.

I love you too, Mom.

- You be a good boy, okay? | - Bye, Mom.

Four hours?

I'm dreamin' | of a white Christmas

- Your Christmas will be perfect-- | - Just like the ones I used to know

...with its own | built-in turkey timer.

Where those treetops | glisten

-And now, we return to the most | cherished of Christmas stories, | -And children listen

- Miracle On 34th Street, | starring Natalie Wood and-- | - To hear sleigh bells in the snow--

That is exactly why you want | a high-quality fire extinguisher | right in the kitchen.

Those flames | were really big, Dad.

- Yeah, turkey's funny that way. | - Dad!

'Ey!

It's done.

You like osso buco, Charlie? | They're closed.

You know, Neal's | a real good cook.

Yeah, and you should see him | walk on water.

- You don't like him | very much, do ya, Dad? | - Charlie, yeah--

I was joking, okay? I'm sorry. | I was just kiddin' around.

I like him a lo-- Yeah, sure, | I like him. You know, there--

There's just something | about him that makes me wanna--

Lash out irrationally?

- Where did you hear that? | - From Neal.

I learn a lot from him. | He listens to me.

Yeah. Then he | charges ya for it.

I'm dreaming

- Of a white Christmas | - All right. Denny's.

- Just like the ones I used to know | - It's always open. | - I don't wanna eat here.

- What are you talkin' about? | Everybody likes Denny's. | - Where those treetops

- It's an American institution. | - Glisten

- Are you with Hatsutashi? | - No!

- Dad burnt the turkey. | - Oh, yeah. This way. Come on.

- Right over there. | - Thank you.

- Here we go. | - Burn the turkey?

- Coffee? | - No, thank you, Judy.

What do you say we start out | with cold glasses...

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