The Scarlet Empress Page #4

poking holes in my bedroom?

I wanted to watch my wife.

Watching your wife won't give you

an heir to the throne.

The next time I catch you providing

my rooms with needless ventilation,

I'll have you flogged.

I'll catch my death of a draft someday!

Go back to your rooms and wait for your wife.

This is your fault. I had hoped by bringing

you to Russia to make a man of that half-wit!

Sorry to intrude, Your Majesty.

I think the grand duke dropped

one of his soldiers in here.

Thank you.

Good night.

Wait a minute.

Come here.

How long have you been at this court

picking up soldiers?

Two years and a half,

Your Majesty.

I fail to recall your exact duties here,

Countess Elizabeth.

I'm in charge of entertainment for

His Imperial Highness, the grand duke.

Exactly how far is it

to your home, Lizzie?

My ancestral home is in

the province of Astrakhan,

about two weeks journey from Moscow.

Not as far as I had hoped. His Imperial Highness

has been entertained long enough.

Do you understand me? I don't want

to see you around again. Get out.

She won't snoop

around here anymore.

I should have thrown her out

before I had you brought here.

Come here, Catherine.

Sit down.

Haven't you given me

trouble enough?

Are you going to behave

like an obedient wife...

or must I continue to treat you

like a stubborn child?

I don't care

what you do with me.

You might change

your mind about that.

You're in love with His Excellency,

Count Alexei, aren't you?

No, Your Majesty, I'm not.

I'm not.

It's a good thing you're not.

I wouldn't advise you

to become my rival.

Rival? What does

Your Majesty mean?

You will find out soon. In the

meantime, you can blow out the candles.

Before you retire...

you can be of one more service.

Behind my mirror, a concealed passage

will lead you down...

a flight of stairs

to another door.

behind that door you will find

someone waiting to come up.

I don't want him

to see you, so be careful.

- Good night, Your Majesty.

- Good night, Catherine.

And you don't need to report

for duty until late tomorrow.

Halt!

Who goes there?

- Nobody.

- Just a minute, my little hen.

That's not the password.

You'd better think up another one.

Come to the guardhouse,

and we'll find out who you are.

You're entirely too good-looking

to be running around like this.

What are you hiding back there?

Take your hands off me,

you insolent fool!

I'm Catherine,

grand duchess of Russia.

Don't take advantage of me.

This is my first night on duty.

The grand duchess isn't permitted

out at night. Tell me who you are.

I told you who I am.

Oh, come now.

Stop joking.

If you're the grand duchess,

then I'm the grand duke.

I wish you were!

if i were the grand duke and

you were the grand duchess,

I wouldn't let you prowl

through the night like this,

like a pretty little kitten.

Suppose I didn't want to tell you

who I really am. What would happen?

On a night like this,

anything might happen...

if I'm fortunate.

Well, Lieutenant,

you are fortunate,

very... fortunate.

It's ringing!

Three volleys.

It's a boy!

Have you noticed, Your Majesty,

how the imperial duckling

resembles his father?

Hush, hush, enough of this.

Now,you keep an eye on him.

I don't want anyone near him unless

I know about it, not even his mother.

I had enough trouble getting him.

If he catches cold

or sniffles just once,

I'll have you

hung by the ears!

If he coughs,

I'll have you cut in half!

And if anyone touches him,

I'll have you shot!

Your Majesty, I beg of you

not to become excited.

You've been ill for weeks.

This turmoil will weaken you.

Don't any of you think I'll give you

the pleasure of seeing me die!

I'll outlive all of you,

you sinister buzzards. All of you!

- We've been glad with rejoicing.

- Your Imperial Highness!

I suppose you, too,

want to congratulate me...

as the father of the heir

to the throne of Russia.

That was my intention,

Your Imperial Highness.

And I bring you

the felicitations of my nation...

and my own personal congratulations

on so glorious an event.

Yes, I know.

Tell me about it some other time.

I want to be alone, do you hear?

Get out, all of you!

I'm crammed up to my neck

with congratulations!

Get out! And if you must congratulate

someone, congratulate my wife!

May I speak with Her Highness?

Shh.

The empress joins her people

in congratulating Your Highness...

on the birth of a male heir

to the throne of Russia.

We all hope you will

recover quickly...

so you may wear this jewel,

which Her Majesty is pleased

to present to you as a sign...

of her most extraordinary joy

and satisfaction.

Sit down, ladies.

Sit down.

Your Excellency,

what can I do for you?

Will you please ask

Her Highness once more...

- if she will grant me an audience?

- I'm sorry, Your Excellency,

we have orders from Her Highness

not even to mention your name to her.

Then perhaps you will

convey to Her Highness...

that I've been waiting

for some time now to congratulate her...

on the great historic event of providing our

country with a much-needed heir to the throne.

I'm certain that history was far from

her mind at the time, Your Excellency.

Her Majesty is very ill,

and her days are numbered.

Soon she will be no more,

poor soul,

and another maniac

will become our emperor.

It will be a bad day for Russia,

and for me if I live that long.

Why are you telling this to me?

You know that the grand duke isn't exactly

pleased with the present state of affairs.

State of affairs?

What affairs? I haven't

had an affair for some time.

I know that the grand duke plans

to remove you from court...

or worse,

as soon as he is in power.

You need have no fear for me.

Now that I've learned how

Russia expects me to behave,

I like it here.

And I intend to stay...

grand duke or no grand duke!

We all hope you will stay,

and I for one, at the risk

of my neck, would like to help you.

How could you be of help?

I control enough of the political machine

to carry some weight in a crisis.

I have no wish to share

in any petty conspiracy.

Should it become unavoidable,

I think I have weapons...

that are far more powerful

than any political machine.

I'm afraid you don't

know Russians, my child.

That's possible, father,

But i'm taking lessons as fast as I can.

Right here, gentlemen.

What a lovely target.

You're looking quite well,

Catherine,

since you provided me with

an unexpected addition to the family.

Thank you, Peter.

It's nice to see you again.

Come to think of it,

I'd like you to meet someone...

who's come for an extended visit.

What are you doing here?

Back to the barracks!

Get out!

Come along, Catherine.

What do you think

of this decapitation?

It would be more amusing

if it were real.

Where's your visitor?

Oh, it's Lizzie.

Is she in charge of your entertainment

again? What will Her Majesty say?

Her Majesty doesn't

know anything about it,

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