The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption

Well.

Behold

the great Scorpion King.

Please forgive our revelries, but

we cannot believe our good luck.

That being able, at one time,

to rid the world of an Akkadian

and, at the same time,

erase the memory

of your legendary failures.

To your people.

As well as to your queen.

Your queen was

a great sorceress...

How was it that she was unable

to see her own demise, huh?

Did you really think

that you could be

a leader of men? Hmm?

Akkadians are good

for but one thing.

Destruction.

You almost single-handedly

decimated a civilization

that took over

3,000 years to build.

Mathayus,

the once mighty Scorpion King,

has lost his empire

and his beloved queen.

With nothing left to live for.

His only desire is to die well in

the pursuit of mercenary gold,

and freedom from

the pain that haunts him.

King Horus, the most

powerful ruler in the world,

faces a crisis that could

cost him his kingdom.

His brother, Ta/us,

a ruthless warrior,

has taken a legion of SOLDIERS to the

Far East to pillage its treasures

and amass an army

powerful enough

to return and

conquer Horus' kingdom.

Now, Talus marches on

the palace of King Ramusan,

Horus' last ally

in the known world,

and guardian of the

legendary Book of the Dead.

Horus must stop Talus before

he lays hands on the Book

and enslaves Ramusan's people.

For this,

he needs a fearless champion

willing to accept what is

certainly a suicide mission.

Well done, Mathayus.

Formidable work besting Siris.

He was one of my most

valued military advisors.

That's funny. He didn't seem

to have a head for battle.

Humor from an Akkadian, proof

that anything is possible.

We intercepted one of

his messenger parcels

detailing all of our

defensive strongholds.

Who was he working for?

My brother. Talus.

After my father died and

left the kingdom to me,

Talus became very, very angry.

He thought he was the

rightful heir to the throne.

With all due respect, Your Highness,

I have a few vessels of wine

and a small army of harem

girls to conquer tonight.

Can we just skip to the part where

you tell me who you want killed?

Your royal nobility didn't

take long to wear off.

Walk with me.

The king.

Someone that they call Cobra is the

leader of the tribal resistance.

Naming yourself

after a venomous creature?

Why didn't I think of that?

Once he finds out your mission

is to protect King Ramusan,

I'm hoping that

he comes to your aid.

Your chances of survival,

Mathayus, are minimal at best.

When do I leave?

Tomorrow.

Well, better start drinking.

I only need you

to hold Talus off

long enough for me

to get my army there.

King Ramusan will give you

10,000 pieces of gold

at the completion

of your mission.

I will give you another

10 upon my arrival.

That is, if you survive

long enough to collect it.

I'm sending someone with you.

I work alone.

You know that.

Mathayus, you stand to

help a great many people.

Perhaps that can provide some

redemption for past sins.

I'll never have

redemption for the past.

The gods will curse my passing,

and I will thank them for it.

I do this for money alone.

You all fight

like little girls.

- Which one of your...

- Idiots.

Mighty warriors

will accompany me?

Who will challenge me?

That one.

That ape?

Under what rock

did you find him?

He was one of the only survivors

of the great siege of Babylon.

We brought him into our ranks

because of his

unique skill set.

My men have yet to embrace him.

Go cry to your mama!

I wonder why.

Ha!

Your hat looks stupid.

Assassin!

You Highness,

do you really think this...

I'll save you, Sire!

Filthy Akkadian, come here.

I'll squeeze you.

Get off me, maniac!

Olaf, have you gone

completely stupid?

He's an Akkadian, Sire!

He's sent to kill you!

He's working for me.

Olaf's devotion to the

realm, albeit humbling,

tends to cloud his judgment.

My apologies.

And you're working with him.

Working? What?

A quest.

Let's drink!

Did you bathe in camel

dung this morning?

I smell like warrior!

Well, thank the gods my kingdom is safe.

Prepare them for their journey.

Well, I met me

a girl from Sodom.

With a moustache

and an ample bottom.

She said with a wink

as she poured me a drink

"If it's big feet

you like, I got 'em!"

I heard stories

about an Akkadian once.

Tales of incredible

feats in battle.

A man so mighty

many believed him part God.

I do not know much, but of

one thing I am certain,

you're no Akkadian.

That's a mighty

mound of horseshit.

Oh! I could really go for a sheep's

stomach stuffed with crickets.

You probably eat like a bird.

What's with the hair?

How do you get it all

straight and shiny like that?

Did Mama comb that hair

100 times every night?

Or did Grandma have a recipe she

passed down through the generations?

"Just a hint of bat poop"

"with just a touch

of monkey testicle."

Oh, how about that?

Your balls finally dropped.

See I finally

got you to shut up.

You wanna go, Akkadian?

Huh?

Already going.

You call that

punching, princess?

Or are you courting me

with those love taps? Huh?

Great humper of sheep?

Down you go, Akkadian.

At my feet, where you belong.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I mess up your hair?

Wait.

Let me fix it.

Nice try.

How does this feel,

you filthy swine?

You like my face?

Let me give you a closer look.

Give us your gold or

we'll out your throats.

Go back to Mama.

Hey!

What are you doing?

My mama sends her regards!

They are fools.

One-legged

sheep moves faster than you.

Forget them.

You would know!

Kiss me,

precious.

That was the easiest

robbery we have done in years.

That's about all I can

take from you, Akkadian!

Mmm.

That's good.

Now, that's how

you stoke a fire.

Let's sober you guys up.

Nobody touches my stuff!

Crime doesn't pay!

Olaf,

make mine medium rare!

At least you'll be able

to see where you're going!

Not bad. Maybe you are

an Akkadian after all.

That was fun.

Almost broke a sweat.

Now where is my baby?

There you are.

This is a nice camp.

It's good of them

to get it ready for us.

It was a good day.

Mmm.

That it was.

Where are you from?

I haven't seen your kind

in the desert before.

I'm a Teuton from Germania.

Land of mountains, snow

and ice.

Are you crying?

No.

Dirt in my eye.

How'd you end up here?

Ha! I came to fight in the

great desert wars for gold.

I was to take my

spoils back home,

but I have not earned the

fortune I had hoped for.

Well, when we help

this pitiful king,

you shall have them.

And I can return to my Olga.

Olga, and our 17 daughters.

Seventeen daughters?

Yes.

But I still await a son.

It doesn't sound like

it's for lack of trying.

What about you?

What's your history in this place?

I have no history.

I just want to know

where you're from, brother.

We're not brothers.

You understand?

Who pissed in your wineskin?

Time for rest.

We have many days travel ahead of us.

Oh, Olaf, your breath

smells like rotten yak carcass.

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