The Search for Freedom Page #6

and I'm pulling the plug.

If I can just leave this thing

that I've spent three weeks

trying everything I have into it,

and I can walk away from it,

then that's when I know

I'm making the right decisions.

I think the time

when you're most stressed

is when you do your most important work,

and that's how it's been for me.

I've overcome

some of the gnarliest injuries,

broken backs, necks,

and punctured lungs,

and nearly ruptured my aorta.

I've had over 40 broken bones

and none of them I'm proud of,

but they've all taught me lessons,

and they've molded me

into the person I am today.

When you put your helmet on

and it comes down to the night,

you screw in the throttle and hope for

the best, but it's a calculated risk.

There's been a lot of planning

going in place.

In my biggest jumps, I've actually

sat there before and been...

it sounds crazy to say this,

but it's the daredevil nature,

being like, you know what?

However this works out

is how it's meant to be,

and however it does go down,

I'm just going to embrace it.

If I'm falling from a ten-storey

building and it's the end,

I'm just going to give into it

and just let it be,

and not scream on my way down.

You know, just... just take it.

For the Arc de Triomphe,

the fear was definitely killing myself.

Like, I was really worried

about not making it

and seeing the new year come in.

Part of me wanted to just quit

there and then.

But that childhood dream of mine

was that little echo going,

"You've got to do this

for that kid in you,

the one that dreamed like that

all through school,

who wanted to do that.

How's the opportunity."

"You going to walk out now? Coward?"

You could feel it in everyone.

You could see people were nervous.

Everyone around me,

the whole team was, like, on edge.

It was such a tense moment.

I worked out and faced my fears

in myself,

and I faced the fear of that jump

months before I even got there.

You're scared of hurting yourself,

of hucking off that ledge.

You're scared of that giant wave

that's barreling down on you.

Riding the edge of that fear

and what is that fine line between

reckless abandon and calculated risk,

to where you're doing something,

you don't even think twice about it.

I just saw the snow under my feet

break up.

I knew right away what was happening.

Thankfully I was really calm that day,

and I was able to keep my speed

and focus on what I needed

to do to get out of it.

Learning to deal with fear

and talking yourself down from things

you're scared of really helps.

It really helps you deal with other

situations for the rest of your life.

Because then nothing becomes

that big of a deal,

since you've put yourself in

a situation where you were so scared.

You're always negotiating

with the fear of something

to know how to protect yourself.

If you feel the fear come in,

that's just a sign. "What are you doing?"

And as a rock climber,

you go the other way, I think.

When fear comes, you calm down

and you think clearly,

"OK, what do I need to do?"

You don't panic and start shaking

and wing it

and start going for it

and see what happens.

So I think that fear is

a very interesting friend

that's there for you to help you,

protect you, make you consider.

There's no words to describe how scared

I was on my first base jump.

Every animal on the planet has a fear

system that's basically the same.

It's there to protect you.

But what can happen

is it can get out of hand.

It can start firing off

when you're having thoughts about

doing the things that you want to do.

The fear of death

is the fear of the unknown.

It's the fear that is probably

the strongest in all of us,

and to confront that and run off

a cliff into the unknown,

every cell in your body is on fire

screaming, "Don't do it."

When you know that you've undergone

the proper training

to get to the edge of this cliff,

then you use that understanding,

that reason and logic

to cut through

the screaming chatter and do it.

We both went into a tumble

due to the thin air

and the heavy 16mm old

clunky cameras that we had.

I hadn't expected that.

I thought I had pushed it too far.

These sports used to be

real rebel, counter-society,

"don't go near them" sort of activities,

to now they're readily acceptable,

although the extreme part of it is

getting more and more extreme.

These guys have a crazy switch,

and they can't wait to get there.

They live for it. So they're pushing it,

and by them pushing it,

the next group wants to go bigger

and higher,

and it's just been pushed

and pushed and pushed.

It's the inherent DNA of these

performers. They want to go big.

There's a point where, intuitively,

you really do hit the red line

on where you're getting

to the point of taking serious risk,

and that is injury or death

or whatever it is.

There's a point where that's reality.

There's a threshold there

unless you're really ready

to go that far to risk,

and you can digest

the consequences, you know?

I could keep pushing myself

to be the best in the world,

but realistically it's not possible.

I honestly feel like this lifestyle,

the motorcycle lifestyle,

has taught me what I needed to know.

I'm able to let go

of that wild daredevil side

that needs to prove to the world

that I can do the craziest things.

I really don't feel

I need to prove that any more.

The fears I've had to face,

I've really had to kind of face myself

and find out who I am,

and the only way to do that is to sit

in a quiet room and sit it out.

It's a hard thing to do.

I still struggle with it.

But that's when I find the biggest joy.

I had to do some crazy things

to find that.

Since the beginning,

there's been monumental change

in action sports.

At its core, the thing that remains

absolutely the same

is that experience,

that calling that people have.

This is something

that I'm completely dedicated to,

and it's who I am, and it's something

I'm going to do my entire life.

You get to the summit.

There's no summit. It's just flat.

There's nothing up there.

There's nobody meeting you.

There's no wise man up there

telling you the secret of life.

There's nothing.

You realize, you know what?

It's all about the process.

It's a fine line

when you're forcing something

and you're learning to flow

with something.

You're becoming a part of something,

or you're just trying to grope

your way through something

with just strength.

There's a place I go to by myself a lot

where it's just a horizontal traverse,

I just try to learn to move

with the moment

and be focused on my breath.

I might go across the traverse

and just think about breathing.

I might go through it just thinking

about my hands, or my feet,

or, you know, how you're moving

your shoulders, whatever, and practice.

By going out and rock climbing,

you have to face everything

about yourself, and it's all up to you.

You take your hands and feet,

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