The Second Page #2

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No.

Perfect.

"She was standing

at the bus stop.

"Her clothes were far too tight.

"Far too tight

"for her curves, to contain her.

"They strained

against her thighs...

"..the parts of her

she was trying to conceal."

What are you,

a f***in' man or a mouse?

Um...

I still

don't believe you.

Seriously.

- No.

- How did you two meet?

- Catholic girls' school.

- Really?!

Mmm. It happens,

not just in the movies.

And pornos.

Well, actually we met

in the confessional, so...

Yeah, I had

a burning confession.

And I was pretending

to be a priest

and I wanted

to hear a secret.

And what was the secret?

- Well...

- Well...

I'd been felt up

by one of the nuns.

Well, it was the first time I'd

been touched sexually, you know.

And, well, I needed to tell

someone the good news

so I turned to God.

Yes, I have, um...

I've heard that one before.

Yeah, well, you know...

Jesus, it happened to

a lot of us. She's not special.

Dark habits and lots of canings

in rectories.

And instead of 10 Hail Marys...

She invited me for the summer

to meet her famous father.

I came every summer

until I stopped coming.

And why did you stop coming?

Well, that - that...

I think we need more alcohol

for that.

You know...

..I need to work tomorrow, so...

- I read your memoir.

- It's brilliant, isn't it?

- Don't.

- No, no.

Look, he is right.

I mean, it's not

The Bellbird's Warning,

but it's brilliantly crafted.

Maybe next time

you'll get what you deserve.

A Pulitzer.

She hates praise.

I love praise.

I'm going inside.

- Second novel syndrome.

- Is that what it is?

I can hear you!

Hey, I'm sorry.

She's a bit distracting.

I can't do it.

Go and tell her.

I'll finish off here.

# You are an obsession

# I cannot sleep

I am your possession

# Unopened at your feet

# There's no balance

# No equality

# Be still

I will not accept defeat

# I will have you

Yes, I will have you

# I will find a way

and I will have you

# Like a butterfly

A wild butterfly

# I will collect you

and capture you

# You are an obsession

You're my obsession

# Who do you want me to be

to make you sleep with me?

# You are an obsession

You're my obsession

# Who do you want me to be

to make you sleep with me?

# I feed you

I drink you

# By day and by night

# I need you

I need you

# By sun or candlelight

# You protest

You want to leave

# Stay

Oh, there's no alternative

# Your face appears again

# I see the beauty there

But I see danger... #

Goodnight.

# Stranger beware

# A circumstance

in your naked dreams... #

I thought you were

going to tell her.

I tried.

So she has actually read it.

You were right. I should never

have let her stay.

I'm in a hole with your advance.

I need this book.

And your beautiful liar

is getting in the way.

So unless you tell her...

..I will.

I'll do it.

I just need peace and quiet

right now.

You're taking it the wrong way.

The wrong f***ing way?

Which way should I take it?

What's that story about the guy

in the attic and the painting?

He gets younger as the portrait

withers and dies?

- Dorian Gray.

- Yes, Dorian Gray.

'Cause I'm the withering

f***ing portrait.

You're just going through

a rough patch.

Oh, how f***ing reassuring!

You should write gift cards.

So how's the writing coming on?

- It's fine.

- That's not what he said.

- Yeah? What'd he say?

- He said you're struggling.

Well, maybe I am a little bit.

It's normal after such success.

"That's normal

after such success."

How much you want this time?

- I don't want your money.

- Well, what, then? Say it.

This was a mistake.

You should go.

You don't have to struggle.

Turn it up!

So demanding.

Ahhh!

It's alright, I've got it.

I've got this.

Let's talk

about the story.

Two girls, a boy.

- The boy dies.

- Mmm. They murder him.

I'd like to read you a passage

for comment.

Of course.

Hey, you've done your research.

Mmm. Yeah, there was

an accident.

A boy died on your property.

Yeah, true.

And you write about

a murdered boy.

- Everything's fair game.

- Everything?

And everyone.

Don't.

Ground rule number one -

I need to work.

So there is

no more boozy soirees -

I need six hours of quiet

every day.

- No more boozy soirees.

- And no more music.

- Come on, that's not fair.

- Uh-uh-uh!

- Fine. No music.

- Good.

If I hear so much as a peep out

of either of you, you're out.

You got it?

Got it.

Good.

I'm just going for a run.

You're keen.

You want to do something?

Six hours a day.

Just so precious.

Yeah.

I'm just gonna lie here

and do nothing.

F***!

There's a dead snake.

How can I use that?

There's a snake...

Hey. Hey, listen, mate. Mate.

I'm not sure if I offended you

the other day,

but if I did,

I'm really sorry, OK?

I'm from the city. I'm not...

Got to be careful of snakes.

Definitely.

Not here.

Back there, where you came from.

Those two girls.

F***in' snakes.

What? What?

You tell 'em I hate snakes.

Cut their heads off.

F***!

Oh, hi.

I won't look over your shoulder.

I will just quietly...

..quietly, quietly

drop that there.

Hey, wait.

Sit with me.

So what's with the publisher?

Don't know.

He seems self-entitled to me.

Mmm.

Pretty nice and smart,

once you get to know him.

- Well, I won't get to know him.

- Thanks.

I've missed this.

Me too.

I'm going to sell the property.

You can't!

I hardly ever come here...

..and there's too much history.

So I'm going to give you

some money.

You can go back to school.

You set yourself up.

That...

..country...

..fuckface

threw a dead snake at me.

It could have been alive.

It's not finished, you know.

Course it's not.

Hey, you OK?

I'm far from OK.

Hey, sorry for...for laughing.

He threw a dead snake at me!

What the f***?!

Is that a thing out here?

No, not that I remember.

Oh, he called you a snake too.

Wants to cut your head off, FYI.

- Charming.

- We have history, so...

- Oh, God, no. Really?!

- Not that kind of history!

And anyway, I've got something

that's gonna cheer you up.

Having a snake thrown at you

is a bit of a boner killer.

I don't mean that.

I mean this.

- Pages?

- Yeah.

Well, it's the beginning

of something.

- He hates it.

- Oh, relax, will you?

Well?

Well, come on.

Don't hold us in suspense.

It's not landing for me.

- Really?

- What does he mean?

Sorry, what does that mean?

It means I can see potential.

Two women...

..a dark secret,

away for the week.

One a writer with

a publisher boyfriend - cheeky.

- The other, a muse.

- But?

It lacks that

raw emotional honesty

that your readers

have come to expect.

Maybe you're right.

- Second novel syndrome.

- So how does it end?

Right now, I'm thinking

of a death.

- The muse?

- The publisher.

My own.

God, can we have some fun now?

- What's taking her so long?

- She's angry at you.

Holy Jesus! Is that real?

Yeah, and it's loaded.

In case we meet any

unwanted locals or snakes.

She's a great shot.

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