The Secret Life of Pets

Illumination!

Illumination!

I've lived in this city

all my life.

I'm Max.

And I'm the luckiest dog

in New York

because of her.

That's Katie.

Katie and I...

Well, we have

the perfect relationship.

We met a few years ago.

And, boy, let me tell ya,

we got along right away.

It was one of those

relationships

where you just know.

And get this!

She was looking for a roommate.

And so was I!

So I just moved

in that same day.

It was perfect.

We've been

together ever since...

Katie would do

anything for me.

And I'm her loyal protector.

Our love is...

How do I put this?

Our love is

stronger than words.

Or shoes.

It's me and Katie.

Katie and me.

Us against the world.

I wouldn't go so far as

to call us soul mates,

even though any sane person

who saw us would.

There's just one

little problem.

Pretty much every day...

Come on, Max.

...she leaves.

I'll see you tonight.

Sometimes I try stuff

to get her to stay.

Okay.

Sit.

Spin.

Speak.

Okay.

That's a good boy.

But it never works.

Where is she going?

What could she

possibly be doing?

Oh, I miss her so much.

Oh my!

She's back!

Forgot my phone.

What took so long?

Why did you...

Oh, come on!

Oh!

I miss her so much.

Bye, Gidget.

Be a good doggy.

Hey, Max.

Hey, Gidget.

Any plans today?

Uh, yes.

Big, big stuff today,

Gidget. I got big plans.

I'm gonna sit here, and I'm gonna

wait for Katie to come back.

Oh, that sounds

exciting.

Well, I won't interrupt.

I've got a very busy day, too.

Here you go.

See you later, Chloe.

MAN 13 Bye, Peppy.

So long, Mel.

Bye, Sweetpea.

See you, Gino.

- Bye, Mr. Wiggles.

- So long, pal.

I'll miss you, Shelly!

Later, Runty.

Bye, everyone.

Bye.

Mmm.

You be a good boy, Leonard.

Hey, Max.

Hey, Chloe, do you ever wonder

where they go during the day?

Do you know what?

I just...

I don't really care.

Maybe that's what

it's like for you,

but Katie and I have

a different relationship.

You're a cat.

So maybe that's why.

Because nobody could ever love

a cat the way they love a dog.

I'm just saying.

Maybe that's why.

Whatever you need

to tell yourself.

Hey! Morning, Max!

MAXI Hey, GUYS-

What's up, Sweetpea?

Hey, Mel,

where you been, man?

Oh! Get this!

Last Sunday, my owner feeds

me a small white pill, right?

I start to feel

a little groggy.

The next thing I know,

I wake up, I'm in the sky!

Wait a minute. The sky?

Yeah. There are suitcases everywhere.

I'm locked up in a crate.

Come on. There

are suitcases in the sky?

So, I pass out from fear,

and when I wake up

I'm in Florida.

Um. This

did not happen.

I will never eat a

pill like that again.

Unless it's covered

in peanut butter.

Because, I mean, come on! Right?

It's peanut butter!

Hey, guys.

Oh, hey, Norman.

You still looking for your apartment?

Yeah. Going

on three weeks now.

Is this the second

or the third floor?

I don't know any numbers,

but, uh, you don't live here.

Ah! Pellets!

Well, see you guys later.

You know what?

You can do it!

He can't do it.

Buddy!

There you are.

Did you find it?

You know I did.

Ball!

Ball, ball, ball!

Katie's gonna

be so excited!

This is exactly like

the one she lost!

I mean, look at it!

It's round.

It fits in my mouth.

ALL; Ball!

Ooh!

There is no

other ball in the city

like this one ball, guaranteed.

Whoa!

This is the ball.

Hey.

Katie!

I'm home, Max.

Hey, Maximilian.

How was your day, buddy?

That's a good boy.

Oh, yes. I'm so psyched

to see you too, buddy.

Okay, boy.

Calm down, it's okay.

Let's all be calm.

Now, I have

some big news.

I know this'll

take some getting used to,

but I think it's gonna be a

great thing in the long...

Oh!

Max, this is Duke.

He's going

to be your

brother.

No, Max.

It's gonna be

all right, Duke.

It's okay.

Aww. See?

He likes you.

Whoa!

AWW.

Yeah, that's it, Duke. Take

a look around.

I know, buddy.

This is a lot to take in.

But he didn't

have a home.

So you and I are gonna have

to take care of him.

Okay?

Oh, my gosh!

Duke found

our lost ball!

What a great team we're gonna be.

Love you, Maxie.

Love you, Duke.

Sleep tight, boys.

Psst.

Psst.

Hey. Little guy.

This place

is so great!

Uh-huh.

By the way...

That is one

gorgeous bed.

Yeah, it's okay.

Maybe we could share?

You know, one night you get the bed.

The next night, I do.

That kind of thing.

You know,

this bed is mine.

You? You get

an old blanket.

That suits you.

You're an old-blanket kind of a dog.

on, WOW.

You are stubborn.

Hey, I get it.

I'm stubborn, too.

But we gotta learn to get along.

Wait. What are you...

I bet we can both fit in

this bed if we really try.

Let me scoot on

in there.

No, wait.

Ah!

Perfect. This is

comfy, right?

No, it is not.

I'm comfy.

Duke is just

ruining our lives!

It's an emergency that

you get rid of this dog.

He stole my...

And he's scary,

and he's frightening,

and he's the death

of all good things.

Aww. You little

cutie pie.

We'll play tomorrow,

buddy,okay?

Okay, sleep well.

Are you trying

to get rid of me?

Before I answer that...

I'd like to know

how much you heard.

So, that's how

it's gonna be, huh?

Oh, man, are you

making me angry!

And when I get angry,

I do this.

And I don't want to do that.

I need this place.

And if it's gonna

come down to you or me...

It's gonna be me.

Morning, Max!

Max! Max! What

are you doing? Hi!

It's me! Hi! Hi!

Chloe!

Chloe, Chloe! I got a bad situation.

Katie brought

home a new dog from the pound.

She said he's my brother.

I don't want a brother.

I don't even

have a bed now.

I'm sleeping on the floor,

like a dog.

Why would Katie

do this to me?

Because she's

a dog person, Max.

And dog people do weird,

inexplicable things.

Like they get dogs

instead of cats.

Okay, please don't

start now, Chloe.

That is not helping.

Max? Come on,

I'm your friend.

Okay? And as your friend,

I gotta be honest with you.

I don't care about you

or your problems.

But if you don't do something

about this guy, and soon,

your perfect little life

with your dumb, bleh, human

is gonna be over, forever.

Forever?

Forever. Yeah,

that's what I just...

Why is this mouse

on my paw still?

Look, if you really

want to get your turf back

you're gonna have to start

acting like the alpha dog.

Right. Alpha dog.

I can do that.

Okay, okay.

Please don't go!

This time,

really don't go.

I'm running late. I gotta go.

Wait, wait. Stay!

Stay for the trick.

"Spin!" I'm doing "spin."

You guys be good.

I'll see you later.

Wait. No, look...

Okay, Max.

Listen, Duke. I'm not

sure if you're aware,

but one of those

food bowls, technically...

It's reserved for...

I know, maybe you didn't

read the names, but...

That's my bowl.

Mmm.

I know that it... Hey...

I was just thinking,

I don't know,

maybe we could institute

some ground rules.

I just thought that...

Or not.

I don't need a bowl.

Here again?

Rodent!

Ah!

Oh, Duke.

Duke, Katie is not...

Katie's gonna be so upset

when she sees that.

Katie's gonna flip out...

When she sees how you

trashed her whole place.

Oh, it's just one vase.

Is it, Duke? Is it?

Oh, that's a shame.

What are you doing?

Whoa, what am I doing?

Nothing.

I'm a cute little doggy.

Katie knows I wouldn't

do anything like this.

No, no. Whoa!

Mmm.

This could only be the work

of a dangerous stray,

who hasn't laid down a

foundation of trust.

You're the new dog.

And, Duke, what'd

you go and do this for?

I'm gonna...

What? Bite me?

Rip my face off?

Perfect. Wait till

Katie finds out.

Oh! Help, Katie! Thank

goodness you're here.

I tried to stop him,

but he's crazy!

Now, sit.

Okay, okay, okay.

Lay down.

Good boy.

Hi, Max.

Hey, Gidget.

Who's your

new roommate?

Is it a girl dog

or a boy dog?

Not that I care.

It doesn't matter to me.

Oh, that's nobody, Gidget.

He's just visiting.

Yeah, he's gonna be

gone soon.

Hey, what's up?

Oh, hi.

Your hat is the best

hat I've ever seen.

Hey-

Uh, excuse me.

Genius!

You forgot my leash.

Never mind.

Hey, fellas, how's it...

Hey, fellas, how's it...

Hey, fellas...

Oh, uh...

Say, Duke...

Yes?

Be a good lad and bring

me a stick, won't you?

It would please me to

chew on a stick just now.

You heard me. Fetch.

Nah,nah,nah,nah.

Nah, not that one.

That one doesn't

please me.

Find a really

good one, Duke.

Yeah, that's it.

Hey, Max. Boy!

Oh, wow.

There are a ton of

sticks over here, Max!

You should come over and look at them.

Yeah, I wanna make sure I

grab you the right one.

Well, that's

very, uh, thoughtful.

Look at all

these sticks!

MAXI Whoa!

Help! Help!

Hey, did you

hear that?

Butterfly!

Butterfly!

Butterfly! Let's get it!

Wha... What's...

Huh?

Whoa!

Help! Help!

So long!

Don't leave me here!

Didn't have to

be this way, Max.

Wait!

No hard feelings!

Duke!

Please!

Oy!

What's going on here?

Mind your own business. Oh, my

gosh, what happened to you?

I had a fight.

All right?

With a

big, stupid dog.

He lost.

Oh, you're headed into dangerous

territory there, kitty-cat.

I'd watch your tone,

sunshine.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna cut you into

string, ball you up,

and then bat you

around for hours

in a game that

only I understand.

Oh, very nice.

I'll take that!

Wha...

Ooh! Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

You want to start with

me, little raisin?

Okay.

Get your umbrellas

out, kitties,

because here they come!

The thunder

and the lightning!

Right down on your face!

Gosh, there are a lot

of you up there.

I'm talking about the thunder and

the lightning that's coming down

on all of your

collective faces!

Attack on three...

Two...

I just remembered

I gotta be somewhere!

That guy, huh? Am I right?

Okay. You know what? I'm just gonna...

No offense, but good-bye!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Hey!

You little...

Duke?

You came back?

Run!

It's the po-po! Scram!

Wait!

Two, four, six, eight... Hmm...

See you tomorrow,

Guillermo!

You know it.

Ten...

Eh, okay.

Right.

Uh-huh.

Sheez, did you see that?

Yeah, I saw it.

Throw it with your arm,

you lazy weirdo!

I would not fetch that. I'm old-school.

Thanks a lot, Duke.

I don't like to

use this phrase

because it's offensive

to our kind,

but you are

a bad dog!

Katie's not

going to like this.

I can't go

to the pound.

What? What's wrong

with you?

Well, Katie just...

She just got me

out of the pound.

And if I go back...

Max, it's the end

of the line for me.

Yes! Mmm...

Why? Why?

What's the matter, Maria?

Maria, your face,

it wears

a thousand sorrows.

What is wrong?

Oh, I have come

face-to-face

with the worst thing

in the world.

What? Oh, tell me,

Maria. Tell me now!

I cannot bear another

moment without knowing!

Loneliness.

Max! Max!

Max? Huh?

Hey, I see you,

squirrel!

This is not

your area!

We marked that tree!

Don't you try and hide!

I can see... Oh!

What was that?

- How dare you!

- Guys, where's Max?

Nobody likes you,

squirrels!

Guys, seriously,

where is Max?

Calm down, girl.

He's right...

Huh. He is gone.

Oh, it's fine.

I heard him screaming after he

disappeared into those bushes.

Max is gone?

This is bad.

This is so bad.

Maria, if he is

your true love

you must go to him!

Save him! Save him!

Yes! Yes!

Save my true love!

I'm coming, Max!

Hi, Chloe. If anyone

asks,... -

I'm on my way to the

roof to look for Max.

Okay, bye-bye.

Whoa. You see that?

Yeah, give me

a second.

Oh! Hey, there,

cute little bunny.

Whatcha doing in the middle of the road?

Bunny!

What's going on?

What the...

Save yourself!

Shut it, human!

Let's do this!

Now!

Now! Yeah!

Get off me!

Wait up!

Get off me, pig!

Get off!

Ow! Ow!

Whoa...

What's happening?

I don't know!

Ripper! Ripper,

where you at?

Let's go, Ripper! I'm busting

you outta here!.

The revolution has begun!

Liberated forever!

Domesticated never!

Yeah!

Who's driving

this thing?

Whoo!

Ha, ha!

Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go!

Who are you guys?

Huh? Who are we?

Who are we?

We are the Flushed Pets...

Thrown away

by our owners

and now we are

out for revenge!

It's like a club,

but with biting

and scratching.

Take us with you!

I don't think so, pets.

Yeah, you got the stench

of domestication all over you.

You chose your side. And

now you're gonna burn.

No! Stop!

Who you calling "pets"?

I ain't no pet!

You got it all wrong!

We're just like you guys.

We hate humans.

Yeah! That's right!

Hate them.

Oh, man, don't get me started on people.

Am I right, Duke?

Yeah, that's why we

burned our collars, man!

We burned them

to the ground!

And killed our owners!

Yeah... Wait a minute,

that's too far maybe?

No, they dig it.

Yes, we whacked them.

Yeah, that's right!

Bang, bang with

our own paws!

If I had a dime

for every owner I killed...

Oh. yeah!

I'd have a dime.

Because I just

killed the one.

Ooh-whoo!

Oh, y'all cold-blooded.

Oh, man, you remind me

of my boy, Ricky.

He died, though.

RIP, Ricky!

The truth is, the struggle

could use some more muscle.

All right, look,

I'll tell you what.

We'll bust the both of you out of here.

But understand this.

From now on,

you work for me.

That's fine. Sounds

like a fun challenge.

All right, guys,

let's do this!

To the sewers!

The sewers?

What are y'all waiting for?

I'm not playing.

I said...

To the sewers!

Long live

the revolution, suckers!

I can do it.

Oh!

Max?

Max?

Max.

Oh, where are you, Max?

Looks like

you could use a little help.

Who said that?

Over here.

In this dark and

foreboding shed.

Uh...

Hello?

I can see for miles.

If you let me out,

I'll find your friend.

Wow! Really?

Oh! You're so sweet.

You're sweet, too.

Thanks, stranger.

But not too sweet.

There's also a salty,

gamey thing going on.

Yeah, that's me.

Come on, let's get you

out of that shed.

Yeah, that's it.

Just step over

the pile of bones.

Pile of bones.

Okay, will do.

I sure hope

Max is safe.

You're a very

thoughtful food.

"Food"? I didn't say that.

I said "friend."

I meant food...

Ff lend.

You know what I meant.

I'm sure lucky

I found you, uh...

Tiberius.

And, yes, this is

a very good thing for you,

this whole

"meeting me" thing.

Take off my hood.

Ah!

The chain!

Oh! You tried

to eat me!

I'm sorry.

You should be sorry. You

deserve to be locked up.

You're a bad,

bad bird.

I can't help it. I was born

with killer instincts.

That is just

no excuse.

You're right. Even for a

predator, I'm selfish.

I'm a selfish predator.

It's no wonder

I have no friends.

Nobody.

This is hopeless.

Oh, don't... There's

no need to cry.

I'm sorry that I

yelled at you before.

Please, take off

the chain.

This time I'll help

you. I promise.

Tiberius...

This is gonna sound completely

horrible, but, um...

I don't fully

trust you.

Oh, no, no, no...

But, I guess everyone

deserves a second chance.

And you are just

a lonely, old bird.

And you do have

weird manners

because you live in a

weird shed on a roof.

So, I'll tell you what.

If you find Max...

I'll be your

best friend.

Best friend?

You and me?

Whoa!

Whoo!

Yes!

That sounds nice.

Let's do this.

Okay.

Ah...

So, what does

this Max look like?

Brown and white.

He's a short-hair,

roguishly handsome.

He's got a sparkle

in his eye.

He sounds dreamy.

You have no idea.

I mean, what?

Whatever. Shut up.

Mmm-mmm.

If my owner comes

put on the hood and

pretend to be me.

Okay, thank you!

Ugh!

The smell is disgusting...

...ly good.

This is all so great.

Love it here.

What's...

The...

Pass...

Word'?

Password?

Look! Look at me.

I am your leader.

The leader does not

recite the password.

The leader makes up

the password, idiots.

Everybody, I'm making up

a new password right now.

The new password is...

"Don't ask the leader

for the password!"

Follow me.

Welcome to the

underbelly, brothers.

Home of the Flushed Pets.

Brothers and

sisters!

As you see,

I've returned from the surface

with two new recruits.

These guys are

owner-killers!

Hey, hey!

Settle down!

Guys, I want you to tell

them how you did it.

Go ahead. Tell them

the whole story

about how you

took out your owner.

Don't leave out nothing.

We love gory detail, here.

Oh, yeah!

Tell us!

Right.

So, tell them, Max.

Okay, so.

I was like...

Well, we were like...

Take that!

Yeah!

Stupid owner.

So, that's who

you're dealing with.

That story bored me

to death.

Boring!

Give us detail!

Okay. Max?

Okay, well, uh...

So, there's this thing

in the kitchen...

Yeah. Table!

It's flat.

Toaster!

And then round on

just the end of it.

A Spoon?

Yes, a spoon!

Exactly.

You can't hurt

someone with a spoon.

You scoop with a spoon.

How many people

wanna know

how to kill somebody

with a spoon?

I do! Oh, yeah!

Okay. Uh, well...

We used the spoon...

Hit a button on the

machine on the counter...

Right, and it's got those...

The, uh, you know.

Those blades.

The, uh... It's got blades!

Was it a blender?

You blended somebody?

He talking about

the blender, guys.

Oh, please, tell me

it was a blender!

Hey,buddy,I don't ask what it's

called, we just kill with it.

But it was a blender.

Whoo! Do y'all hear this?

You know who was

like this? Ricky!

Rest in peace!

Ricky was the

only soldier I had

that was ready to

kill humans on sight.

Everybody else

need a pep talk.

Not these two brothers.

See, all of us have suffered

at the hands of man.

I mean, take me for instance.

I was a magician's rabbit

for kids' parties.

But then bunny tricks

went out of style.

So, what did

my owner do?

My owner went and

left magic behind

and made me disappear...

From his life!

Uh-huh.

I lived

in a tattoo parlor!

The trainees used

to practice on me!

Until they ran out

of space!

I mean, yes,

humans say they love us.

But then they turn around

and throw us out like garbage.

Ain't that right,

Sea-Monkeys?

It's not our fault we

don't look like the ad!

Yeah!

All right, you guys

are joining the brotherhood.

It's initiation time!

Oh, yeah!

The what? I'm sorry, what time?

Summon the Viper!

Uh, is this

Viper poisonous?

Because I should warn you,

I'm very allergic to poison!

Ow!

All right.

Show her!

Max's collar!

Where is he?

What happened to him?

I ain't saying

nothing!

You're gonna tell

us where Max is.

And you're gonna

tell us now!

Is this supposed

to scare me?

I'm a cat.

I land on my feet.

Does it always happen?

Because your head looks like

it's taken a lot of landings.

Do you want me

to cut you?

Beoause I'll cut you this way and that.

You'll look like a waffle.

Okay.

He's too stupid to talk,

and too ugly to eat.

I'm done

playing nice!

Where is Max?

OW.

Tell me!

Ooh!

Let me finish... Ow!

Help me! Ow!

Don't look at him. Look at me.

Nobody can help you!

Where is Max?

Okay! Okay!

He's in the sewers!

He got taken!

Please! Have mercy...

Adorable puffy dog!

Snake bite!

Snake bite! Snake bite!

As proof of your

allegiance

you will now

receive the bite

of a one-fanged,

half-blind Viper

fueled by a diet

of anti-human rage!

Who wants

to go first?

Uh... Okay,

here's the thing, though.

Tiny Dog-

Can I call you

"Tiny Dog"?

It fits you.

Let's admit that.

Look.

Between you and the fat

dog, I like you the best.

Oh, thank you!

Tiny Dog's gonna go first.

Everybody,

TD's going first!

No,no,no.

Tiny Dog does not want to go first.

Take the fat dog!

Snake bite!

No, no, no.

Stop!

Snake bite! Snake bite!

Snake bite!

No,no,no,no.

Stop!

What are you doing initiating

a couple domestics?

Domestics?

Yeah. We just jumped

those two in the alley.

Slashed off their collars.

No,no,no.

That's not true.

You said you

burned your collars.

Well, "burned," "lost,"

"had them stolen by cats."

It's all just words,

really, isn't it?

You don't deserve to

be marked by the Viper.

Oh, no. We'll just

show ourselves out.

You deserve

to be eaten

by the Viper.

Get those leash lovers!

Hold on.

Go get them,

Duke. Whoa!

on...

Uh, fellas, that

was an accident.

You squished

the sacred Viper!

He's a flapjack.

Oh, Viper!

Viper, you in a better place!

You and Ricky!

You ain't never did

nothing to nobody!

Well, you bit a lot

of people, Viper.

So, technically, you might

actually deserve this.

This might be something

that was long overdue.

But it shouldn't have came like this.

Not on my watch.

Get them!

Oh, no!

Come on!

Ah! Wait up, Duke!

Hyah!

We're sorry. Can this be

over now?

We've got a problem.

We have so

many problems.

Which one do you

mean at this moment?

Stop running, dummies!

Stop it right now!

Hold your breath!

Hold my breath? Ah!

Get them!

This is my least favorite part

of this whole thing so far!

Friends!

I am afraid that I have

some terrible news.

The squirrels are gonna

take over the world!

I knew it!

I always said, squirrels are

little shifty little guys.

No. We're not doing the squirrel

thing right now. That's not...

No!

Max is missing!

He's out there somewhere.

Lost. Scared.

So, so handsome.

We have got to find him

and bring him home!

But the outside world

is loud and scary.

Ooh! Is that a hawk?

This is my friend, Tiberius.

He's going to help us.

He's not going to eat us.

We've already been over it.

Come on, Gidget. We go out

there without a leash...

We'll get

caught by a net.

Or something worse!

Yeah, like a hawk!

We're wasting time!

Max needs us!

Come on, girl, Max doesn't

even know you're alive.

Well, I don't care!

I love him! I love him

with all of my heart!

And I'm gonna go look for Max,

no matter who's with me.

So...

Who's with me?

All right, fine. Fine.

Oh, come on, guys.

I can't believe you.

When I got my claws

caught in the curtains

who pulled me down?

Max did.

Buddy, Mel.

When you were fixed, who taught

you to sit the comfortable way?

Max did!

Max did!

Max did.

He did it!

And when that random cat

tried to eat Sweetpea

who saved him?

It wasn't a random cat.

It was you.

The identity of the random

cat is not the point.

We're talking

about who saved him!

Max did!

We gotta save him. We

gotta go save Max! Yeah!

Yeah! Let's go

save Max!

Uh, which one

is Max, again?

Um...

Tiberius!

No! Bad, bad bird.

Nice little guy.

Nice little guy.

I like this bird.

Crazy bird.

Come on!

We gotta get to shore.

I only know the doggy paddle!

And I don't know it well!

Swim, Tiny Dog. Swim!

Duke!

Help!

Max, grab the ring!

I can't!

Keep it up, Max!

You're doing...

Well, you're not

doing great.

But you're not drowning,

and that's something!

You're almost there!

Thanks, Duke.

No problem.

Finally.

I'm going home.

Oh.

Isn't home that way?

Ah! Seriously?

They're going

to Brooklyn.

They say everyone's going

to Brooklyn these days.

It's making

a real comeback.

I'm not talking about

hipster real estate trends.

I'm talking about

vengeance,Tattoo!

Death is coming

to Brooklyn.

And it's got buck teeth

and a cotton tail.

Let's go!

Whee!

Hi, how are you?

Chug! Chug! Chug!

What is this crazy joint?

This is Pops' place.

His owner is never home,

so it's kind of a hot spot.

Pops knows everyone

in this city.

If he agrees to help us,

Max is as good as found.

Cool!

Fabulous!

Tell me

you got that!

Oh, heck yes, I did.

What's up, Peanut?

Hey, Buddy.

You see Pops

around here?

Yeah, he's over there.

Hey, Pops.

Mud and sweet potatoes.

Pops!

Who's that? What?

Oh,

hey, Buddy.

How you been,

old-timer?

Paralyzed.

Great! Listen,

Mr. Pops,

our friend Max

was taken.

Last we heard,

he was lost in the sewers.

Buddy said that maybe

you could help us.

You know, I do know

a guy in the sewers,

but, ah,

I don't

go out anymore.

What a waste of time.

Who said that?

Oh, I said it.

By the way, I meant

no offense, I just...

Have you seen yourself?

Welly-well,

well, well...

Looky what we

apparently have here.

Meezy would like

to have a look-see.

Myron! Brows!

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Me like what me see.

Well, what me can see.

It's all

an attractive blur.

Uh. Little lady,

this is my city.

I'll find your friend.

All right,

party's over!

Myron! Vacuum!

So, where are you

from, my fuzzy angel?

Dude, I'm a cat.

Well, nobody's perfect.

I'm so hungry.

Oh, man. Would you

look at that sandwich!

All right. Time

to work the gift.

No, no, no!

Okay, this'll be fine.

We're fine.

We can find our way home.

We are descended

from the mighty wolf!

We have raw, primal instincts

that are mere

moments away

from kicking in

and leading us home!

I cannot wait!

Here it comes!

Anything?

No.

Wait! Oh, I...

No.

I don't

know, Duke.

Maybe the legend of dogs coming

from wolves is just wrong.

Maybe one puppy asked his mom,

"Where did we come from?"

And the mom said,

"Woof."

And the kid was

like "Oh, wolves?"

And she was like,

"Yeah, fine."

Sausage.

Huh?

You smell that?

Oh, man, it is.

Sausage!

Well, then,

what are we waiting for?

We're coming

for you, baby!

Lower the ramp,

dummy.

Who are they?

This is Puffball,

Squash-Face,

Weiner Dog,

Yellow Bird,

Eagle-Eye,

Guinea Pig Joe.

And, of course,

my girlfriend Rhonda.

100% wrong.

Good enough.

Come on! Let's go!

Move it or lose it!

Every bird instinct

I have says

don't follow a dog

on wheels.

Um, Mr. Pops, sir.

Shouldn't we be

heading to the sewers?

Now, if we take

the human route,

getting there is

gonna take days.

You may have lots of time,

but for me every breath

is a cliffhanger.

So, we gotta take

the secret route.

Okay. The secret

route was death.

Well, that's that,

I guess.

Come on!

Get down here!

Sweetpea...

Keep moving!

Oh, no.

Stop it! Look away!

Come on! I don't

have all day!

Yeah!

Wheel

Come on, slowpokes!

Ugh! What is

that smell?

It's poo-poo

with a dash of caca.

The scent is

getting stronger.

Oh, man.

Duke, let's eat!

Oh, yes!

Oh, it smells

so good!

Oh yes!

Sausages!

Ah!

Come on, boys!

Holy schnitzel!

We go together Like rama lama

lama ka dinga da dinga dong

Remembered forever

As shoo-bop sha wadda wadda

yippity boom de boom

Chang chang

changitty chang sha-bop

That's the way it should be

Wha-oooh, yeah!

We're for each other Like a wop

ba-ba lu-bop and wop bam boom

Just like my brother is

Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

yippity dip de doom

Chang chang

changitty chang sha-bop

We'll always be together

Ah!

Wha-oooh, yeah!

Getting

a weird vibe, man.

All right, now, these

guys are a bit testy.

So, just let me

do the talking.

Hey, you crybaby!

Where's the Viper at?

Don't you worry,

Viper!

You will not

be forgotten!

You will be avenged, Viper!

If you don't believe me,

you can look at

my battle plans.

It's all laid out right here.

Uh, boss...

I can't tell

who anyone is.

Well, you gotta really

look at it to understand it.

That's you guys right here.

And, see, that's Brooklyn.

That's where we

gonna get them dogs.

Bam! Bam!

That ball of fluff's

got a screw loose.

Let's skedaddle.

You get it,

you see what I'm saying.

Bottom line is, I'm coming

right for you, Tiny Dog!

And that big, fat, brown dog?

He gonna get it, too.

Tiny Dog?

There are lots of

tiny dogs in the city.

I mean, you're a tiny dog, okay?

So, let's just go.

He also said,

"big, fat, brown dog."

Like Max's new roommate.

Not necessarily.

Max, Max, Max...

You are gonna get it!

That's kind

of hard to dispute.

Hey, you stay away

from...

Wait, what?

You know Tiny Dog?

He's my friend!

And some might

say my boyfriend!

Uh, nobody says that.

I can't believe

you know Tiny Dog!

That's cool.

It's such a small world,

that's the funny

thing about it.

Get them!

Scatter!

Not good!

See you guys later!

Hang on!

Everybody, run!

Derick, you idiot!

Did they all get away?

Uh...

Phew! That was

a close one!

Oh, nuts!

Yes! We got one!

Oh, good for you guys!

Yay!

Yeah!

Oh, yes, Tiny Dog,

we got your friend!

Advantage, me!

Uh-oh. Just ignore what

just happened. Okay?

Yes!

You know what?

This may be the

sausage talking,

but you're okay.

Right back

at you, man.

When I met you,

I was all like,

"I don't know

if I like him."

But now that

I know you, I'm like,

"I like him."

You know, I saw this

place from the outside

many times.

Had I known what treasures

awaited within these walls,

I would've

broke down that door

a long time ago,

I'll tell you!

What are you

talking about?

My old owner and I

used to live around here.

Duke, man, wait.

Did you used

to have an owner?

Well, it was

a long time ago.

I don't want

to talk about it.

Yes, you do.

Come on.

I don't know.

But you know what?

He was so cool.

Yeah?

Yeah.

He was the best.

Man, we had fun.

We'd play fetch.

We'd go for walks.

We'd take naps.

We were both big nappers.

I got out one night, chasing

a butterfly, or a car.

By the time I had caught

up with it and ate it...

Probably a butterfly,

then.

...I realized I was so

far away from my home

I couldn't find it.

A few days later, I was

picked up by Animal Control.

I had

a great thing going.

But I had to go

and mess it up.

Duke, we gotta go

to your house.

Nah.

Your owner's gonna

be relieved!

Will he?

Yeah, but...

But he never

came for me.

Maybe he...

Maybe he didn't like me.

Of course he liked you.

He was your owner.

I mean, he's probably

worried sick!

I don't know.

Well, I do know

and we're going!

Your owner's

gonna freak!

I'm freaking out

just thinking about it.

Okay.

Let's do it!

There they are!

All right, doggy,

come on.

Hey, hey, hey!

Where do

you think you're going?

Come back here, you dogs!

That rabbit...

He had crazy eyes.

There ain't no curing what's

wrong with that thing!

Gidget,

here's an idea.

Maybe there's a dog in the

neighborhood that looks like Max.

Start hanging out with him.

After a while,

you'll think it's him

you'll be done.

We are not

just giving up!

We're dedicated.

We're loyal.

We're easily the

greatest pet ever.

We're dogs!

Cat.

Hawk.

Well, congratulations!

Today you're dogs, whether

you like it or not!

Sweet.

Now let's find Max

before that rabbit does!

Break! We're dogs!

Oh.

I don't like it.

Sassafras...

Yep, they were here.

Excellent

We're closing in!

This is groundbreaking

evil behavior, people.

Groundbreaking!

Oh!

A light bulb just

went off in my brain.

The bunny has an idea.

Okay, so, uh,

how do I look?

You look great.

How do I smell?

Like a dog, Duke.

Relax, man.

There it is.

Well, go on up.

Go scratch

at that door.

Remember that sausage factory?

That was fun, huh?

Are you stalling?

No. Why do you

think that?

Let's have a long talk about

why you think I'm stalling.

Duke, you have nothing

to be nervous about.

Your owner is going to

be thrilled to see you.

Okay.

Huh. That car is new.

Can I help you?

No. We're good, thanks.

You're not good.

You look dirty.

And I'm gonna have to ask

you to get off my lawn

before I get, um,

what you have.

This is my lawn.

Duke, maybe

we should go.

And why would

Fred get a cat?

He hates cats.

That's one of the things

I love about him.

Fred? The old guy?

He, um...

He died.

Duke, maybe I made a mistake,

saying we should come here.

Let's go.

You're a liar!

Max, cats lie

all the time.

Don't fall for it!

Who are they?

Hey, this is my home.

Go away!

Duke, it's time

to go.

Duke, let's go!

Come on!

This isn't your home

anymore.

Why did you

bring me here, Max?

Wait a minute.

This is my fault?

I was trying

to help you!

You were trying

to get rid of me!

You know what, Duke?

I don't need this.

I'll see you later.

Gotcha!

Come on, settle down!

Go home, Max!

Hey, help me out, here!

Hold on!

I'm coming!

Let's go.

Finally

got you, big fella.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Come on.

This is it for you.

Duke!

Aw.

Koochi koochi koo!

Tiny Dog!

Ah, are you kidding me?

You thought

this was over, Tiny Dog?

Stop!

Huh?

Jab, jab, jab!

Body blow! Body blow!

Karate chop to your neck!

Would you get off me!

Tattoo!

No, no, no.

Oh, TD.

This kills me to say,

but we gotta

join forces, man.

Whoo!

We make a great team,

Tiny Dog!

Well, mainly, I'm doing all the

hard work, but you're helping!

Yes, yes, fine.

Just keep your eyes on the road.

You're driving like an animal!

Whoo-hoo!

What was that?

Oh, that was a pothole.

You're hitting

things on purpose!

Heh. You know me

too well, TD!

Always keeping me

in check.

Do you see the van?

Yeah, I see it.

We're about to hit it.

Relax, Snowball,

I got you.

There he is!

He's got Snowball!

Look, fellas, this is

not what this looks like.

Shush,you!

You were gonna

eat the boss!

No,no,no. Snowball and I

are on the same side now.

Tell them! Snowball,

tell them!

That raccoon is lying.

He's not the president.

Come on, now.

Come here, you.

Gidget?

Go, Max!

Right. Okay,

gotta go.

Thank you! Thank you!

Stay down!

Duke, hang on!

Whoa!

Duke!

Max? Max!

Oh, get the keys! Right!

Hurry!

Ha!

Come on, come on.

I got them!

Max!

Remember me!

I feel heroic!

And handsome.

I'm a little wet,

but I still look good.

I look good.

Are you...

Are you okay?

I'm good.

I'm good.

Thanks for coming

to save me, Max.

Max!

Oh, Max!

You need a lift?

Yes, we need a lift!

Let's go, Tattoo.

Taxi!

Whoa!

Yeah!

Hey, hey...

Uh, Gidget, wait up.

Oh, hi, Max.

Yeah. Hi. Um...

Play it cool.

Yeah, I...

I just wanted to...

Look.

Have you ever lived across

from someone your whole life,

but you don't really

appreciate them, until...

I don't know...

Until they're beating up dozens of

animals on the Brooklyn Bridge?

I guess what I'm

trying to say is...

If you ever wanna...

Okay-

Oh, great.

You're in love.

How gross for everyone.

Now move it!

Good-bye! See you later!

Good-bye!

Does anyone know

where we are?

Bye, Max.

Bye, Gidget.

Okay, bye-bye!

See you guys.

Man, I feel sorry

for them.

Gotta run home

to their owners.

Not us.

Now, it's back to

our primary mission.

The downfall of

the human race!

It is on, humans!

It is on!

Yeah!

Mommy! Can I have a bunny?

And a pig and a

crocodile and a lizard?

Uh-oh.

Yay, bunny!

Jab, jab, jab!

Body blow! Body blow! Break-away move.

Aww...

What's going on?

What's she doing?

Bunny, I'm gonna love you

forever and ever and ever.

Aww. Bunny.

Aw.

Here you go.

Duke, this is the

best part of the day.

Ooh! Is that her?

Nah, no. That's... Wait...

Yeah, that's her.

That's her.

Katie!

There they are!

Max and Duke,

Duke and Max! Aw!

My boys!

So, how'd it go?

Great, right? I...

Uh...

So, maybe a few bumps.

But I knew this

was gonna work out.

So, who's hungry?

Welcome home, Duke.

Thanks, Max.

Come on, man.

Hurry it up.

Okay.

I'm coming,

I'm coming.

Sheesh!

Welcome, my dogs.

Oh, you guys

look weird.

Hurry up, come on in.

You said it was

a costume party.

Why do you

listen to me?

I'm home, Leonard.

Were you

a good boy, Leonard?

All right, party's over.

Rate this script:3.7 / 3 votes