The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Page #6

your piano, like, a week ago?

I did.

With Sean's camera.

Sean O'Connell's camera?

Yeah, he came to visit.

Mom, what?

Yeah.

He wanted to know

about your work schedule,

when you left, when you came home.

He said you really

understood LIFE.

He was really

interested in your work.

Mom, why didn't you tell me?

I told you. I told you

in the produce aisle.

I remember that.

Maybe you were...

Odessa, what is it you call it when he

goes into one of his little places?

"Zoned out. "

You do that now and then.

What's the matter?

I got fired.

I lost a picture of his.

Can you find it?

No, I don't know where he is.

He's someplace with warlocks or...

Warlords.

No, warlocks.

No. Warlords.

Sean said he had to meet

with warlords very soon...

and maybe he would take my cake

so that he could get permission...

to trek through

the wilds and places.

He said he wants to photograph

snow leopards. How about that?

Who?

"Ungoverned Afghanistan. "

Mmm-hmm.

That's where Sean is.

Crazy Afghanistan. Yeah.

In the upper Himalayas.

They can't let you go.

You were Sean's partner.

He told me...

that you were the person

who worked the hardest...

to make sure his work was

realized the way he wished.

You finish his work.

Heaven is a switchboard

that you want to fight

She would even miss you

if you taught her sight

Power politician leaning

to the right

Baby's got a trust fund

That she'll want to

go off like that

Get off of my stack

Leave a little window

Get off of my stack

Now we wear same-colored

yellow uniforms

Sky is burning but at

least we know we're warm

Go and run yourself

a million miles

Hoping that the colors run out

And you go off like that

Get off of my stack

Stack

Hey, Todd.

Hey, what's up?

Not much.

Hey, good news. Your profile

really rounded out, man.

That volcano-shark combo.

That is money in the bank. Get

ready to get a lot of winks.

Okay.

But something else.

Cheryl Melhoff...

she's not on here

anymore. Withdrawn.

Oh.

Really?

Yeah.

Hey, man, where are you now?

Himalayas.

The Himalayas.

I love it.

That is a kick-ass

"Been There. "

Todd, I'm gonna keep this short.

I have to make oxygen choices.

Hey, I get it. so!

Anyway, you have a

profile now. Congratulations.

Cool, but, you know what?

Would you take me off?

I can't really swing that $500 yearly.

Hey.

Hey, man.

You're sure?

Because I feel like

we're really onto something here.

Do you mind? I'm working.

This is one of the best

profiles I've ever done.

And our refund policy,

well, we don't have one...

Todd, I got to go.

Sean.

Yeah.

It's Walter.

Mitty.

Walter Mitty.

Seriously?

How the hell did you get up here?

I just...

I've been looking for you.

Sit down.

I'll sit.

Well, take your time.

Settle in.

Try to be real still, okay?

There's a snow leopard.

Right in this ridge.

So we have to try to be very,

very, very, very still.

They call the snow

leopard the "ghost cat. "

it never lets itself be seen.

Ghost cat?

Beautiful things

don't ask for attention.

Sean, there was a negative that

got separated from your roll.

I'm taking a lot of

heat over it at work.

It never came with the

roll that you sent.

The last roll

you're talking about?

Yeah.

The 25.

Yeah.

You're sitting on it.

Why am I sitting on it?

It's in your wallet.

That was the gift.

The photograph.

The wallet was just something

I could put it in.

So, I put it in a little slot, the

little picture holder in there.

I thought it would be cute.

I told you,

"look inside. "

In the note.

You said "look inside. "

I thought you meant look

inside of the wrapping paper.

Yeah? Well, you got a real

nice surprise coming.

No, I don't have it.

I don't have it anymore.

Whoa!

What the hell were you thinking?

I mean, I'm sorry, I've admired

you for a very long time...

but that is not a good move, at

all, with a valuable negative.

Sorry, I just...

I thought it would be

a playful kind of thing.

Playful?

Too playful.

I see what you're saying.

With the cover, I should have

been more straightforward.

But can I ask you, I mean,

if you don't mind...

what did you do with the wallet?

Chucked it.

Well, that hurts my feelings.

No. Man, I liked it very much.

I appreciated it very much.

So you threw it away?

So, you have no idea what it was?

The photograph?

It's a shame.

It was a beauty.

How did you find me, anyway?

My mom.

Cool lady. Knows how to bake.

Yeah.

Hey, Why did you...

Shh!

When are you gonna take it?

Sometimes I don't.

If I like a moment...

I mean, me, personally...

I don't like to have the

distraction of the camera.

Just want to stay in it.

Stay in it?

Yeah, right there.

Right here.

Now it's gone.

It's gone.

That looks like fun.

I think I'm gonna jump in.

Hey, what was the picture, Sean?

We're gonna be odd-numbered

if you don't join.

What was the picture?

Let's just call it a

ghost cat, Walter Mitty.

What's in your hand

You're pinned down to routines

Elevate and leave

The flickering screen

Where nothing is compromised

Nothing is lost

When everything is realized

Nothing is crossed

You made the watch list.

How did you get to Afghanistan?

There's a travel ban.

Through Yemen.

Violent place.

That's why the air

fare is only $84.

Can I have my fife back?

Do you know anyone in Los Angeles?

No.

Any acquaintances? Okay.

Any companions?

Anybody here who might be able to

verify that you're Walter Mitty?

Walter Mitty?

Yeah.

Todd Mahar.

eHarmony.

Hey.

Thank you.

Thanks.

What? Come here.

Come here.

Backpack.

Big hug!

Airport prison, huh?

Yeah.

Tell me all about it over

a Cinnabon. Come on.

Cinnabon!

How long were you

detained for, by the way?

Like, 17 hours.

Wow! How's that Cinnabon taste?

Really great.

That's frosted heroin. That's

what you're eating, my friend.

That's what you're having

right there, man.

By the way...

you got 300 winks before I

took down your profile.

In the space of two hours.

It was crazy.

I thought I was selling

concert tickets.

I never checked.

Oh! Because of...

the "Pia Colada" girl that quit?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cheryl.

Cheryl, who did not respond

to a single wink...

the whole time she was on there.

That's a choosy lady.

That's a choosy lady.

How's the...

daydreaming going?

Lately, less.

Good.

Less is good.

Thanks for the pastry.

Yeah, well, you owe me.

I'll send you a check

as soon as I sell the piano.

You have a lot on your plate.

What are you gonna do now?

Go out and get another job.

Boom!

Sorry, Walter, I just...

What?

You are so not how I pictured you.

How did you picture me?

I pictured you as a little

gray piece of paper.

But now I see you...

and it's like Indiana Jones...

decided to become the lead singer

of The Strokes or

something like that.

It's nuts. I know.

Sorry, Mom.

What for?

Dad bought it for you.

It was my responsibility.

Oh, Walter.

We're all grown here.

We're all good.

Ooh!

That's heavy duty, that sum.

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