The Sense of an Ending

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Tony:
I'm not very interested

in my school days

and feel no special

nostalgia for them.

But I remember sixth form.

Good morning.

And welcome to you all

as we begin the new term.

Tony:
In those days

we imagined ourselves

as being in a holding pen,

waiting to be released

into our lives.

Headmaster:

From summer to Autumn.

So, too, do we think ahead...

Rather him than us.

Tony:
And when

that moment would come,

we would be at university.

How were we to know that

our lives had already begun,

and our release would only be

into a larger holding pen?

And in time,

a larger holding pen.

When you are young,

you want your emotions

to be like the ones

you read about in books.

You want them

to overturn your life

and create a new reality.

But as that second hand

insists on speeding up

and time delivers us

all too quickly

into middle age,

and then old age,

that's when you want something

a little milder, don't you?

You want your emotions

to support your life

as it has become.

You want them to tell you

that everything

is going to be okay.

And is there anything

wrong with that?

Sir, according to

your recent survey,

95% of British motorists

describe themselves

as "above average" drivers.

But by the law of averages,

we are, most of us,

bound to be average.

Are we not?

Anthony Webster, London.

Good timing.

Sorry?

Oh... ah!

Sign there, thanks.

Lovely morning, isn't it?

Hmm.

Thank you.

Can I help you?

Just looking.

By all means.

Oh!

Wow.

These are beautiful.

How much is this one?

2,399.

2,000?

Extremely rare model.

Still works, huh?

Of course.

How do you source them?

On the Internet?

I've been in the Leica

business for some time,

so we have our own

exclusive sources.

"We"? It's just

you, isn't it?

So if there's anything you're

particularly interested in,

I may be able to help you.

Do you have anything cheaper?

Some Leica iiis, 500.

500?

Wow.

These are the finest

cameras ever made.

People buy them

because they love them.

Well, as they say,

I'd be rich

if I didn't have kids.

You got kids?

Excuse me?

I've got two baby girls.

I have a daughter.

Oh.

Fathers and daughters, eh?

Very special.

Okay.

Well, I'll look you up

when the kids have left home.

Tony Webster.

Have a lovely day, Tony Webster.

Okay.

Hello, Margaret.

I'm calling to remind you that

this evening you're

duty bound to attend NC with your beloved daughter.

Tonight?

Uh... oh, no, no, no,

sorry. No can do.

Oh, for god's sake.

This should be in your diary.

Susie's relying on you.

You know I can't do it

with this thing on my leg.

I'm winding you up.

Somebody's in a playful mood.

Always.

Well, don't forget to dig out

something loose-fitting.

Lycra. All-in-one.

Very attractive.

What are you doing this evening?

Working. What else?

Really?

So I'm expecting a full

report in the morning.

How's the foot, by the way?

Bye, Tony.

Oh, charming.

Susie:
Hi.

It's me.

You're not mum.

Indeed, I'm not.

Your mother sent me.

I'm your geriatric

knight in shining armor.

Can you give me a minute?

Can I come in?

Thank you.

Radio presenter:

The prime minister

has insisted Britain

will be safer

and economically stronger

if it remains

in the European union.

He said a vote to leave

would cause such instability

on the financial markets

that the UK could be

tipped back into recession.

Right, dad, let's do this.

Have you seen this?

I know, I know.

It's the bollocking

upstairs neighbor.

What happened?

I dunno.

Overflowing bath or something.

That's ridiculous.

I know.

Come on.

I'll write to them.

Dad, no one writes

letters anymore.

So, I should probably warn you,

tonight will likely

feature lesbians.

I've known quite a number

of lesbians in my time,

thank you very much.

Artificially inseminated

lesbians.

I once knew

a pasteurized lesbian.

Just try not to say anything

too mental, will you?

The woman who runs the group

takes the whole thing

pretty seriously.

I'm sure she does.

Hi, I'm Tony. I'm this

evening's stand-in mother.

Standing in for the

mother of the mother.

You just rock with it.

And you will get a rhythm.

But, uh, not to worry.

I have been effectively

sterilized.

But the voice

of experience tonight.

Now the contraction comes.

So...

Sit up.

Your contraction's coming.

Hi, I'm Susie.

This is my first.

And I'm expecting

a boy in October.

You're in the arms

of your protector

and your baby,

and it's going to be fine.

And I think I'm gonna

name him Joshua.

Carla:
Oh!

Really?

Yeah.

Carla:
We've got another

surge that has started.

So...

You okay there, dad?

So maybe if you come

further down.

That's it.

See, this is the other thing.

It depends if your partner's

agile or not agile...

You know,

or to get into position.

It's taking them

into consideration as well

and make whatever's comfortable

for the both of you.

Me, as well.

Yes. It was amazing.

And so much fun.

Wait here a sec.

I wanna give you something.

Oh, all right.

Susie:
Oh.

Male radio presenter:

There has, and continues to be

criticism of

the government's approach

to rebuilding Britain's economy.

And we're better placed

to withstand

an ideological drive

to shrink the state,

with some of the most

vulnerable people in society

paying the price.

Female presenter: A charge

that the ministers would,

of course, reject?

Male presenter:
They'd insist

the tough measures

they're taking will ensure

Britain's finances get back

onto an even keel.

And we're better placed to

withstand any economic shocks

that may come our way

in the future.

Economic shocks such as,

for instance,

Britain exiting

the European union?

Whoops.

Susie:
Here.

What's this?

Time to join the 21st century.

Not least because

I'm about to burst

and mum's an invalid.

You're my only hope.

Bye, dad.

Bye.

Oh, good morning.

Just about.

Um... right.

Let me get that...

Eighty-two...

Uh... and then you need to...

No. Oh, sorry. There.

Right.

Thanks.

Right. Have a nice...

Sarah:
Dear Tony,

I think it right that

you should have the attached.

Adrian always

spoke warmly of you,

and perhaps you'll find it

an interesting, if painful,

memento of long ago.

I am also leaving you

some money.

You may find this a bit strange,

and, to tell you the truth,

I'm not entirely sure

what my own motives are,

but I wish you well,

even from beyond the grave.

Yours, Sarah Ford.

P.S., it may

sound a little odd,

but I think the last months

of his life were happy.

Amelia:
Mr. Webster?

"Dear Tony, I think it right

you should have the attached.

"Adrian always

spoke warmly of you,

"and perhaps you will find it

an interesting, if painful,

"memento of long ago."

We do not currently...

So it is this attached item

referred to,

which is the missing item.

We do not currently have the

second item in our possession.

Excuse me?

I said, we do not currently have

the second item in our possession.

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