The Sessions Page #2

Could you press that button

and put it on speakerphone, please?

(PRESSES BUTTON)

Hi, Sandy.

SANDY:
Hi, Mark. How you doing?

I'm good.

I have a new attendant.

She answered the phone.

Her name's Vera.

Welcome, Vera.

Thank you.

Mark, we're doing a series of articles...

...that I think might interest you.

The subject is sex and the disabled.

It would involve interviewing people

in the Berkeley area.

But why now?

Because we've got the money now.

But if you're working on something else,

then we can talk about it later.

No.

Now is fine.

Great.

MARK:

There was no escaping it.

A door had opened that I could not close.

And in invisible writing,

it said, "Do not enter."

(RINGS DOORBELL)

CARMEN:
Most positions like that one

are pretty much impossible.

I don't know if you can quite visualize it,

but it's called a lateral...

...or a sideways reverse cowgirl.

It's okay. It's just a question of depth

of penetration for most people.

Like my partner, for instance.

It doesn't really matter to me.

I mean, I get just as excited

when he licks my nipples.

When he bothers to do that.

(TAPE RECORDER CLICKS)

I think your tape's run out.

Oh.

Oh.

Do you want to continue?

Uh...

MARK:

That's okay, Carmen.

I think I've actually

got enough to work on.

Thanks.

Well, give me a call if you need anything.

Let me get you Greg's number. He's full of

things you wouldn't believe were possible.

Oral sex is a matter of taste.

And one thing that really works

in my favor...

...is that I smoke so much weed...

...that my taste buds are pretty jaded.

This gives me a great deal of stamina

in the tongue department.

And stamina is key in cunnilingus.

(MEOWS)

Who are these people?

I feel like an anthropologist

interviewing a tribe of headhunters.

(BELL TOLLING)

Hi.

It's good to see you. How are things?

Well...

Sorry.

Things are a little confusing

at the moment.

I would appreciate your advice as a friend,

if you know what I mean.

Sure. And I understand what you mean.

You remember at one point

you suggested I might see a therapist?

Yes.

Well...

...one way or another, it's a long story,

I ended up seeing a therapist.

A particular sort of therapist.

A sex therapist.

(PHONE RINGS)

WOMAN:
Good morning, UC Berkeley.

May I please speak to someone...

...in the Center for Sexuality

and Disability, please?

I'm sorry, sir. The Center for Sexuality

and Disability has been shut down.

Thank God.

Sir?

I'm sorry to have bothered you.

It's no bother.

Oh, sir, before you go,

I can give you a phone number...

...for one of the therapists

who used to work there.

Would you like that?

MARK:
It's not gonna fit.

MAN:
It's fine.

We got you. Everything's just fine.

MARK:
I don't like this. Let's forget it.

Do you want to see this woman or not?

No!

Oops. Too late.

What floor?

Eighteenth floor.

Oh...

So...

...what sort of chance

do you give me?

Of achieving your romantic fantasy?

Very small to minute.

Oh, look, you don't have to pull any

punches. You can be direct with me.

Mark, I'm just a humble sex therapist.

I try to help people with sex problems

that can be addressed.

Your problem, I understand,

is that you've never had sex.

That's correct.

Would I be correct in assuming

you're unable to masturbate?

Correct.

Has anyone done it for you?

No.

Have you ever asked anyone?

Not specifically.

I asked someone to marry me once.

She declined.

Does that come close to masturbation?

You know,

being with the person you love...

...is not the only way

of expressing yourself sexually.

There are people called sex surrogates.

Oh?

My penis speaks to me, Father Brendan.

Sometimes I ejaculate during

a bed bath in front of my attendants.

All I feel is shame and mortification while

other men apparently get pleasure. I...

I'm sorry if I sound angry.

Don't worry about it. Go on.

This therapist...

...suggested I could work

with a sexual specialist.

Have sex with a person

known as a sex surrogate...

...who would be sensitive

to my unusual needs.

I've been giving it some thought.

Hold... Hold on.

What do you mean, "have sex"?

Well, when a man and a woman...

...love each other very much...

No, I understand what it...

Are we talking about sexual intercourse?

I think so.

Outside marriage?

I did do my best

on the question of marriage.

What's the difference

between this sexual specialist...

...and a common prostitute?

I don't know,

but I think there's a difference.

How old are you?

Thirty-eight.

Why exactly now?

I never had any cash before,

that's a major factor.

And I'm probably getting close

to my use-by date.

And this is what you wanted

my advice on? Fornication.

Your advice as a friend.

Do I have the deciding vote, so to speak?

Well, let's just say I value your advice

just as much as I do the therapist's.

You're serious about this?

I think sex is a serious matter.

It's one of the most persistent themes

in the Bible.

So...

...is it possible for me

to know a woman...

...in the Biblical sense, so to speak?

And...

And do I want to find out?

You want my opinion?

Please.

In my heart, I feel like he'll give you

a free pass on this one.

Go for it.

Huh?

Go for it.

Really?

Yes.

If you feel up to it. Do you feel up to it?

To tell you the truth...

...I'm scared.

Well, then, we should pray.

Sweet Jesus...

...Mark and I sit at your feet...

...and pray that you bless

this little journey.

This one small step for a man.

I really feel proud of myself.

Imposing on someone I hardly know

to fornicate in their home.

Get over it.

It's perfectly normal.

Ta-da!

Wow.

There are all sorts of useful things

in that drawer over there...

...if you guys feel like exploring.

Oh, that's okay.

I'll bring my own sheets and towels.

No, everything will be provided.

I'm really honored that you asked me.

It'll be great karma for the house.

Great karma for the house?

My God, the pressure already.

I can't stand it.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hey. It's Tony.

LAURA:

Hi. This is Laura White.

Is Cheryl in, please?

Cheryl.

CHERYL:
What is it?

Phone.

She's coming.

I'm not your girlfriend.

When someone calls...

...particularly someone you don't know,

you can use the word "Mom."

Hello. This is Cheryl.

Hi. It's Laura.

Haven't heard from you for a while.

How are you?

Pretty well.

Look, I called to ask how you would feel...

...about working

with a severely disabled client.

I'm f...

Can you hold on one second?

Hey...

...get a glass.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello. Mark O'Brien's phone.

CHERYL:
Hi, this is Cheryl Cohen Greene.

May I speak to Mark?

Uh, uh... Yeah, could you hold a second?

What? What am I doing here?

Yes or no?

Come on, make up your mind.

Okay.

Yeah. Go ahead.

Hello. This is Mark.

Hi, Mark. This is Cheryl.

Laura called to introduce you. I understand

you'd like to meet. Is that right?

Uh...

Yes.

I could see you on the thirteenth at 11:00.

Would that be any good for you?

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