The Sessions Page #5

She was kind of a sad little girl.

It didn't do much good.

I'm really sorry

that the last time I saw her...

...I fought with her and made her cry.

My parents could have left me

in a nursing home, you know.

Then they found out that the average life

expectancy for polios...

...in nursing homes was 18 months.

They took me home.

Gave me a life.

Gave up theirs.

Mark...

...I'm just going to go to the bathroom

for a quick pee...

...and when I come back,

we're going to achieve full penetration.

But before I go,

I want you to close your eyes.

Is this a game?

It's not a game.

Just do as I say. Close your eyes.

Picture yourself as a 6-year-old boy

at the beach.

Can you do that?

Yes.

Very easily.

CHERYL:

Describe some of your feelings.

MARK:

I feel exhilarated.

Running along the Atlantic Ocean.

I feel the wind.

Wet sand between my toes.

CHERYL:

Do you really feel like him?

MARK:

Yes, I really feel like him.

CHERYL:

And can you really picture him?

I don't understand.

I said I could feel like him.

Of course I can picture him.

From the outside.

I mean, as an adult.

As you are now.

Looking at him, with his...

...crew cut and his little face.

Yes.

And are you mad at him?

Do you blame him for getting polio?

Was it his fault?

(CHERYL URINATING)

She either forgot to close the bathroom

door or didn't bother to close it.

I found the sound of her peeing

incredibly erotic.

And the sound of her tearing off

toilet paper incredibly intimate.

By the time she came back,

I had a terrific boner.

Go on.

I'm gonna rub the tip of your penis

around my vulva.

And when it's ready,

I'll guide you in.

Breathe slowly

and think of something delicious.

(MARK GRUNTS)

(MOANING)

They've been a long time.

Uh-huh.

You got a boyfriend?

Yes.

I grew up in Salem.

Raised Catholic, like you...

...but the Church did not appreciate

my attitude toward sex.

You had an attitude toward sex?

I did. I liked it.

They think they threw me out,

but I threw them out.

So, for years,

I didn't believe in anything...

...and now I'm converting

to Judaism.

Well, it's good to have

some kind of insurance.

Oh, I didn't think of that.

Then why are you doing it?

My husband asked me to do it

before his grandmother dies.

The idea is, if it makes her

happy and him happy...

...it'll do the same for me.

The fact that I'm already happy

does not seem to be relevant.

What does your husband do?

He's a philosopher.

Wow. At a university?

No. In his own mind.

He runs the house and plays guitar.

He thinks a lot.

It's getting late.

Hey, we did great today.

You were fantastic.

You're a fully-fledged

male Homo sapien...

...endowed with a handsome

and substantial penis...

...which now has a proven track record.

You should be thrilled.

Was I really inside you?

You were really and truly inside me.

For how long?

At least five or six seconds.

Is that all?

That's a long time for some people.

You were pretty excited.

I don't know what you were thinking about.

Yeah, I, whew, heh...

I don't, either. Heh.

It was...

It was all a jumble of sensations.

Well, you definitely

achieved penetration.

It was penis-vagina all the way...

...and you definitely

get an "A" for orgasm.

(CHUCKLES)

Cheryl.

Did you come?

No, Mark, I didn't.

Can we try for that next time?

Is that what you want?

Yes.

That's what I want.

Okay, then.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(COUGHS)

(VEHICLE REVVING)

Hi. How you doing?

Good. Good. Come on in.

How are you?

Still exhausted.

Beer?

No, I'm okay.

Oh, you need a glass?

That'd be great.

So...

...on reflection, how do you feel?

It was okay.

I liked some of the other stuff just as much

or better, but I'm glad it's behind me.

So am I. Congratulations.

Thanks.

Thanks, Rod.

When this is all over,

I'm gonna write an article about it.

After all, sex sells.

Seriously.

So you're only doing this for the money?

Oh, absolutely.

That makes me feel so much better

about everything.

What is she like? Cheryl.

You've never said anything about her.

She's the most wonderful person

on the planet.

How's it going?

CHERYL:
He reads too many books.

He has it in his head

that after meeting three times...

...we should be able to have penetrative

sex which results in simultaneous orgasm.

Boom, just like that.

That's very funny.

Yeah, I guess it is.

What do you think of him?

Cheryl?

I like him.

What are you thinking about?

Nothing.

I don't believe you.

Okay, I was just thinking

about the whole conversion thing.

I still don't believe you.

Then whatever it is...

...I guess I'm not in the mood

for talking about it.

So?

What do you think?

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello. This is Cheryl.

MARK:

Hey.

Mark?

Hey.

Could we meet somewhere for coffee?

Somewhere nice? My treat.

I don't usually meet with clients

outside of working hours.

You know that.

We don't have to talk business.

Mark appears to be indulging

in typical transference behavior.

We know this is not unusual

after first successful intercourse...

...but I think he's

particularly susceptible.

He cannot help but seeing me

as the multifunctional, all-purpose woman.

Mother, sister, teacher,

lover, best friend.

At the same time, his anxiety

about sexual performance has diminished.

You look stunning.

Look at this.

Thank you.

WAITER:
You're welcome.

Could you put my cup

right on the edge here?

Sure.

Right on the edge.

And stick the straw in my mouth,

please.

Is that okay?

Perfect.

Oh, sir, I'd wait a couple minutes.

That coffee's kind of hot.

Oh, thanks.

You're welcome.

So, what should we talk about?

You know, we don't have to do much talking.

I just wanted to be seen

with you in public.

And I want people to say, "Hey, who's

that gimp with that beautiful blond?

Ha, ha, ha.

How did he get so lucky?"

If an old girlfriend from school

you hadn't seen for years...

...showed up here suddenly,

like, right now...

...how would you introduce me?

As your boyfriend?

As my husband.

I mean, why not go all the way?

Really?

We're pretending, right?

So...

...sure.

MARK:

"Love Poem for...

For No One in Particular."

Tell me...

Tell me...

Tell...

Let me.

Let me...

Let me...

Let me what?

(SNIFFS)

Really? Really, aren't you the one...

...that's always said

it can't get personal?

That's a whole other thing.

What are you doing opening my mail?

It was scented.

I assumed it was junk mail.

Even less reason to open it.

Where is it? Give it to me.

You're not getting it.

This is none of your business.

You're still not getting it.

I threw it out.

You didn't.

I f***ing did!

What's up?

Would you ask your mother...

...to pass the salt, please?

Ahem. Cheryl, would you

please pass the salt?

(DOOR CLOSES)

Listen, I'm... I'm sorry.

I know I really upset you before.

No, no, no. You didn't.

I'm fine.

You sure?

Yes.

I promise.

Really?

Yes. In fact, I've come around

to your point of view.

You were right.

You're usually right about these things.

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